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7/23/2014 c1 9oOoMilkTeaoOo
I really like this! :D I hope you can continue :)
7/8/2011 c1 6xotennisloverxo
The way to which you wrote this story was very pleasant to read. I liked your variation in sentence structure and grammatical tactics. The description of the Pokemon's emotions was easy to understand and follow. Having their interaction be the catalyst of their relationship was good development as well. My only complaint is that the story itself was a little slow paced and seemed lacking, but nevertheless, enjoyable.
1/18/2011 c1 154Farla
Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it."

Anyway, not bad. You do a pretty good job of balancing narration and dialogue, and your sentence structure is easy to follow.

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