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for Landstradd's First Chapters

1/23/2011 c3 xnevynx
I like all three stories! In order of preference #1,#3 and then #2.
1/23/2011 c3 8AlaskanKing
I really liked all three stories very much. You are a very talented writer and would enjoy reading all of them, but if I had to pick, I would say do the time traveling one first. I have always enjoyed those the most. Then the 3rd story and finally the second story.

I liked your idea in the 3rd story that Ginny is actually Harry's sister. I have always thought she looked way too much like Lily. And if you think about it, her birthday matches. I think I read somewhere that her birthday is in August which would make her about 2 months old when Moldyshorts attacks. and by the discription in Canon, I can imagine that she looks exactly like the daughter of James and Lily.

Looking forward to reading whatever you decide to continue.
1/23/2011 c3 3ObsessedWithHPFanFic
Another great story start. I'm so glad that Harry was saved from a childhood of despair. Thanks for sharing!
1/23/2011 c1 bookivore
OK I like the first one - you've got me a off balance wondering what he's going to pull next, and you're good at writing super-Harrys in an interesting way. But of course I"ll have to read the others as well.
1/23/2011 c2 Wolfric
I think this is my third favorite story out of the first three, although it is still a perfectly decent story, I do prefer the other two if a choice is necessary. Thanks for writing. W.
1/23/2011 c3 Wolfric
I think this is my favorite story out of the first three. Thanks for writing. W.
1/23/2011 c1 Wolfric
I think this is my second favorite story. Thanks for writing. W.
1/23/2011 c3 Inoeth
Bravo. Some very interesting and different stories. Regarding the white mage of time, I think that it was a fun, interesting and well written. It has a lot of potential. However, several things I want you to think about is the potential stress and psychological damage of having fought 'and essentially lost' the war. Secondly, I want to stress the idea of 'the butterfly effect' in that a butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the earth causes an earthquake on the other side. in other words, try to make the changes to the time-line appropriate and give harry enough challenges that the story isn't a simple super!harry winning at everything. there should be some mistakes and unforeseen consequences. Perhaps make Voldy do something completely unexpected because harry has changed his plans and or speed things up and spiral out of control...

In regards to 'End of status quo', I found the story to be fun if overly similar to a lot of other stories of a similar ilk. Once again I caution against making Harry too powerful and making the fight too easy. The ease in which he worked with the goblins and the way that he just happened to kill 30 death eaters in all to easy a way and with not much of any reaction to the gruesome killing of these people when just a few weeks ago at the DoM he refused to use any potentially lethal curses... At the least he should have been vomiting and feeling ill at what he had done (even if they were people who deserved to die). Next, the idea of having access to his grandparents for training and all that seemed like too easy of a way to suddenly make harry powerful and all that. He (in cannon) is a short, semi-lazy kid who is desperately trying to be 'normal' and has only survived through a whole lot of luck and bravery w/out much forethought. Next, the whole ability to scry via family magic is fine, however, making him good at it almost instantly is a little cheap. Finally, the whole portaling thing is a little lame.

Your third story: By sunlight... I once again find to be a very fun and interesting piece of writing. Several problems however, do come to mind. #1 you should set more interaction of Remus and harry (and ginny) as you have set him up to be an 'alpha male' and their interaction could be very neat and fun. #2 you seem to be making harry too powerful and too smart too quickly. For your actual story, tone it down a bit. Its fine to make harry smart and to learn well when nurtured in the right eviroment but making him the child god/prodogy is a bit much. Thirdly, there is an entire story called RuneMaster that is all about Harry suddenly becoming a prodigy in Ancient Runes. Don't make Harry all powerful. Make it so harry is NOT good at something or even multiple somethings. Give him more adversity or the story will be Boring! And finally, since you've changed the timeline so much, as I suggested about the first story, make some major unintended consequences.

Just my advice. Sincerely,

A man who has read waaaay too much HP fanfiction.
1/23/2011 c3 Teucrian
This one was certainly the most complete of the three sibling chapters; you could almost make it a oneshot by combining it with whatever happens in GoF if you manage to get the horcruxes out of the way somehow. Will you have Harry come up with a common sense solution to his being entered in the tournament? He's done that a couple times already, after all, but a common sense solution doesn't really leave much to write about, sometimes. (For example, there doesn't seem to be a way to bind Harry to the tournament that couldn't be used to bind anyone, anywhere, including Riddle or other enemies of whoever possesses the Goblet)
1/23/2011 c2 ObsessedWithHPFanFic
I really like this Harry as opposed to the wimp Harry portrayed in canon. Thanks for sharing!
1/23/2011 c3 LordRahl80
it was close but in the end I think I must vote for number 3 for originality. whoever if i can make one request you make it H/Hr or H/Hr/?
1/23/2011 c2 Teucrian
I'd be a lot more interested in seeing this story continued, I think that it'd be a lot more fun to read (and write?) a smart, independent Harry with a cool cloak than super-Harry in a seven year olds body. Having only a couple "powers" (cloak, wand(?), scrying, common-sense) is also a lot more fun than having lots that rarely get used.

Some things that I'd be curious about seeing if you decide on this story:

Who are the "grandparents"? There's an interesting story there I'm sure.

Are there going to be any relationships? I'm personally against Harry being with either Ginny or Hermione. Shenanigans with marriage laws would be interesting though, since you've already referred to them.

The flashbacks weren't bad, per se, but needing to add a header or directly state such things is sort of bad craftsmanship for writing, I think. Many of the times you could have just omitted them. The transitions around the will reading were particularly well done, and could have omitted the headers.

I think that the ending was a pretty good jumping off point for the rest of the story, contrary to what you state in the author's note. It gives the opportunity to give outside observations on the summer, or alternately, jump straight to the end of the train ride, or any interesting events in the duration. Reactions from Dumbledore, Bones, any of the Weasleys, Hermione or others could be interesting to cover.
1/23/2011 c3 laganima
Ok i think it's easy to say i liked all three of these. I still think the first one is the one you should work on first. The third would be good for the second one or if you get more votes it could be a good number one.
1/23/2011 c1 ObsessedWithHPFanFic
Very well done time travel so far. Thanks for sharing!
1/23/2011 c1 Teucrian
This sounds like an interesting read, but also like it could get stale fairly quickly; if you've got superpowers, you gotta use em all!
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