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for A Lifelong Friendship

1/11/2017 c3 Guest
update already
8/25/2014 c3 Daniel6
How soon is soon?

Anyway. I was skeptical at first. After reading the first two chapters, I changed my mind. I think this is how Bonnie would've turned out if Ron had become her friend. Glad to be proven wrong. :-)
6/27/2014 c1 cabrera1234
want to see more please
1/12/2013 c3 7Jughead4Life
more chapters
10/13/2012 c3 15JDH1080
To be honest I'll admit that the premise of this story isn't bad, in fact it's downright interesting. The only problems i really see is the flow of the story and the length of your chapters.

Okay, bad things first.

Like i said, to me, the story flow's a bit...eh. I feel that it could be better but at the same time i see that your trying. Of course though i haven't watched this show in ages so i guess i don't remember very much as to how the characters act. So, meh.

And another thing, this is way too short. I can't tell you how long to make your chapters but from what i've seen most people seem to prefer longer chapters. I'd say a good length for a chapter in a multichapter story would be anywhere from three thousand words as a bare minimum and somewhere around eight thousand as the high maximum. When i write i usually try to hit above five thousand words. So when writing chapters i would suggest at least trying to hit the three thousand mark.

Now the good things about this story,

like i mentioned, the premise is interesting and a very good one. How different would the characters be if Ron had befriended Bonnie instead of Kim. From what i remmeber of the show Kim was pretty confident in her ablities so its quite possible she could be arrogrant, so that's something that could shine though in this story. It also wasn't very hard for her to resist peer perssure so it's easy to see her as the type to make fun of a geek/loser in order to fit in if she never befriended Ron.

And another thing i notice that's not too bad is your writing, while in my opinion the story wasn't flowing very well for me, the writing for the most part seemed pretty solid. Of course I'll admit that halfway during the second chapter i just started skimming. (It's late so I'm too tired to read the whole thing at the moment.) I guess i just high standards when reading stories on this site. Because I've seen some terrible writers on this site, but I've also seen some of the best, people who's writings I'd rather read than actual books that are award winning books.

So like i said, your not a bad writer, but i guess i just wasn't wowed with this story. Perhaps I hoped to see an amazing long multichapter fic that showed Ron and Bonnie working together fighting supervillians, yadda yadda, kinda like in the show but it would definatly be different. Considering while Kim and Bonnie do have a few things in common they are vastly different.
4/6/2012 c1 95Dsman
i enjoyed but i thought i already revied this chapter
1/13/2012 c3 Sword Slinger
This story has merits, but I normaly like my storys to have more meat on thier bones, if you know what I mean.

Over all: thumbs up! and keep up the good work.
5/28/2011 c1 ron
i would have bonnie and go to prom together and fall in love.
4/29/2011 c3 Dsman
is amile a made up charcter
4/18/2011 c2 Dsman
is tara the bad guy or is that kim
3/4/2011 c2 4LoPe21
Cool chapters. I like the concept. Try to flesh out the characters a little more, they're a little flat right now. and its a bit short neither good or bad but longer is better. Usually.

I agree with data seeker about the whole name switch thing, if you need help fleshing out plot or characters you should try bouncing ideas off of your reviewers.

Keep it up. Hope to see more soon.
2/21/2011 c2 32King of the Fallen
Interesting, very interesting. Please update soon, ja ne.
2/19/2011 c2 14Data Seeker
Hi

It is an interesting fic update, but I think it needs more.

The quality is good in some areas, but I think it needs more detail in others. Also, its short.

Some of the characters are portrayed well, but others just feel like their roles got switched. Bonnie is so like Kim while Kim and Tara are snooty. Alternate Universe stories are interesting, but this just feels like you took Kim and Bonnie and switched their names and forms, instead of making minor changes but keeping their essential characters intact. Does this make any sense.

The wholesome standards are good and certain comments are passable. I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.

Data Seeker
2/16/2011 c1 45Sharper the Writer
Awww...this is a very beautiful friendship of Ron and the Queen, and very nice take on it too!
2/16/2011 c2 50acosta perez jose ramiro
So, Ron became such a good influence for Bonnie she became a teen heroine; without Bonnie to play 'big, strong influence' on Tara, she became the school's mean girl; and without Ron to support her, Kim became a follower. Interesting.

Keep the good writing.
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