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for Saki Aftermath

10/28/2011 c1 17LilHobbitBookWorm
Hahahahaha! Well, at least we know that Haruhi can hold her liquor and that she has a libido. I really loved her reaction to the hickey-faceplanting into the pillow over and over again. As for the last line, it didnt really fit so much. I got what you were trying to say and connecting it to the Spain chapter with Kyoya's guidance was great. Perhaps stating it in a simpler and more blunt way would make it fit better.

The only criticism I have is that the alcoholic beverage of rice wine is spelled "Sake" and is actually quite strong, usually 80 proof if you buy it somewhere other than a restaurant. Though, you probably didnt need to know that.

Bravo
6/25/2011 c1 34Amythista
Aww, drunk Haruhi.

The only thing that really bothered me was "saki". The correct spelling is sake or saké. I didn't think the ending was too bad. ^^ There were a few parts that was a little off, (ex. "She mutter a no in reply before rising up to kiss his neck and start to kiss his entire neck causing Tamaki to go red with embarrassment") but it's nothing a quick revision couldn't fix. It might be a good idea to look over your work a bit more carefully.

I can't really imagine Ranka yelling at Haruhi for being drunk. He'd probably blame Tamaki and start crying or something, but Ranka yelling at Haruhi is like Tamaki yelling at Haruhi. It doesn't happen. :P

All in all, I liked it. :) Please excuse the critism, I'm just trying to make a pretty good fanfic better. Keep up the good work!
1/29/2011 c1 4mizchelz
I really like it and I don't think the ending was that bad at all..and there's just one thing bugging me-isn't it spelled sake? ." I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure that's how it's spelled..
1/29/2011 c1 4hannyfish
Ha ha, i like :)

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