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for they pray that no one has to see them fall

9/12/2020 c1 1teamrocketfan1
Damn... this fic is great! I get that being in the spotlight for a long time would make Cynthia wanna leave, so it’s cool to see that. So all in all, this was awesome.
11/12/2011 c1 22alicekinsno1
Very interesting look at Cyrus's and Cynthia's relationship. It isn't much of a stretch to imagine that this is what their relationship could look like, and the extra bits with Volkner add another layer to the story. If the story was a little longer, it might have been useful to expound more upon Cynthia's relationship with both Volkner and Cyrus, but for something so short, it seems reasonable. I also like the simple language you used, since so many writers bog their stories down with unnecessary verbiage. Good job avoiding that hurdle.

One thing that does need to be fixed is the capitalization. You're supposed to capitalize people's names and nicknames at all times; that's just basic grammar.

Another issue with this story is that I don't really know what it has to do with Pokemon. There's almost no references to Pokemon anywhere, or anything tying the characters to the world of Pokemon except for some really vague references to trainers or Cyrus's plans for the galaxies- and it's to the point that you could probably replace the names in this story with anyone's, and you'd have difficulty noticing.
6/30/2011 c1 81Kuruk
This was outstanding. There were a few mistakes here and there, but it did not detract from the beauty of your writing. Your style may be simple, but unique all the same. It also fits the tone of this piece rather perfectly.

This pairing is rather odd in that it seems rather unbelievable, but you've managed to convince me that it's possible in the hands of a skilled writer like yourself. You've also inspired me to experiment with this pairing too, so thank you for both writing this and giving me some inspiration.

All in all, an incredible job. Thanks again for writing it!

-Kuruk
2/5/2011 c1 2bijou
I'm just going to sum up what I think of your writing in this piece in a few points. So yeah.

o1. Firstly, your writing. I've been noticing through the past few weeks or so that it has developed a lot. Maybe you haven't realized but it has. Sure, your writing was beautiful and wonderful a few months ago but now . . . it's stunning. (at least to me) You've grown so much as a writer through these past few pieces that you've posted and I hope to see even more development in more stories to come!

o2. Secondly, the pairing. I've never thought of it. Sure I know people write about them but I this couple just doesn't make me go over the moon like my favorite pairings do. But in this piece you made them believable. Truly. I struggle with making the relationships in my stories seem real and tangible so I really respect that from your writing.

o3. The simplicity makes the writing all the more heartbreaking. When you just write "They fuck on a Thursday." I just felt my heart kind of ache because their relationship just seems so . . . caustic and raw.

o4. There are less mistakes than usual - which kind of goes back to point number one. I only found a few errors and I was kind of surprised because you usually - no offence meant - have a lot of tense mistakes and the like. But I couldn't find that much so kudos to you!

Anywho, to get to the blunt point, I loved this. Keep on being great and amazing and wonderful.

x bijou
2/3/2011 c1 22TheWritingMustache
Hot damn that was good. Great job ^_^
2/3/2011 c1 sarahbijou
I can't give you a full review ATM but I will say this:

god this piece was pretty dang wonderful.

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