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1/16/2012 c5 13Twilight Phantom Dragon
Huh, so I wasn't subscribed to this story. Well, I'm going to change that now.

Anyway, excellent chapter. The plot's thickening. I'm very suspicious of Fella, so I'm glad Midna's having Raishou keep an eye on her. It's the smart thing to do here. Oh but Raishou really does pick the right moments to interrupt, doesn't he?

And yay Link's off to see the wizard xD But seriously, great section. I like the description of the exotic woods and then the tenseness as the enemies march overhead. I can't wait for them to find Sekar.
11/27/2011 c4 Twilight Phantom Dragon
Curses, such edge-of-your-seat cliffhangers! Ah well, I can't complain. I leave cliffhangers this bad in my stories too. I like the Greeting Man and the foreigner with the snake staff. Can't wait to see that stranger in action.

Sweet, Telma's bar! And Gaven. This'll be interesting.

Diving into the abyss is a good way to escape prison. Especially when there's a large, bovine monster blocking the way. I would've liked a battle with him. Will he (it?) come back?

And yay for an epic fight between Midna and Fella! Plus, a rather unexpected twist. I'm very curious to see what Fella wants. Guess I'll have to wait until next chapter.
11/26/2011 c3 Twilight Phantom Dragon
There's definitely an improvement from the original. I think the chapter lengths are good - too long chapters can be hard to get through (especially if you're pressed for time) and too short chapters tend to fall short. The amount of description is good too. You don't want to go overboard on too many details; it'll swamp readers, alienating them from the story, and most readers can fill in the gaps with their imagination.

I like Jackal. He's adorable... Well, I don't know if I can really call a skeleton adorable but he is. Also, yay for pre-fight quips (there were many good ones in there) and then the beginning of the fight. Really looking forwards to seeing how it goes. Also really curious to learn who the cloaked figure is.
11/26/2011 c2 Twilight Phantom Dragon
Oh Link, you're not in a good place. Love the description of his prison. Also, love the parallel (intentional or not) with the beginning of Twilight Princess where Link's a wolf in a prison cell.

*chuckles* I really enjoyed the back-and-forth banter at the end. Especially the last few lines. Also, yay for Araceli making such an early appearance! I'm excited to see what you do with her.
11/26/2011 c1 Twilight Phantom Dragon
Hello. So I've decided, since it's been a while since I've read this, I'll just re-read the chapters and review along the way.

Excellent intro into the story! It draws readers in with action and intrigue right away. And yay Rai being adorable and funny! I really like the last line: "Be careful what you wish for". A perfect line for this moment.
6/16/2011 c3 13XAOTL Omega
I like, but would enjoy a bit more discription of stuff.
2/14/2011 c2 4ConGie
I don't like mute Link, I say it is a terrible idea to leave him mute. I would understand him being quiet most of the time, but mute just makes everything too hard. You're right though, this intro is a lot better than the other one, though you need to work on keeping things easily picturable in the reader's mind, it makes for a better story in the long run and brings in more reviews.

The Sage of Water,

2/4/2011 c1 ConGie
Omigosh! You scared me there for a second! Well, I'm glad you decided to rewrite, but don't scare me like that again!
2/4/2011 c1 16ShadowMan90
Does this mean your chapters will be shorter and more reader friendly?

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