for Return of the Wolverines9/5/2013 c5 Bablezmith
I don't know where you got your info from but those laughable dream mech's you used are impossible. Your home brewed Liquidator is a walking nightmare, you cant run 2 Gauss rifles on a 60 ton chassis it can't handle the stresses produced, let alone with a 240 XL engine, there just isn't enough power. Oh and your numbers are wrong, they add up to 70 tons not 60. Now lets move on to the Catapult that also isn't built to handle the stresses of a Gauss rifle, after 5 shots your internal structure would collapse. I have to say that your Flashman design could work beautifully. I am going to discount this last chapter and pretend you are still the author of an impressive work instead of a self aggrandizing wannabe. Godlike OC's are boring and pretentious.
I don't know where you got your info from but those laughable dream mech's you used are impossible. Your home brewed Liquidator is a walking nightmare, you cant run 2 Gauss rifles on a 60 ton chassis it can't handle the stresses produced, let alone with a 240 XL engine, there just isn't enough power. Oh and your numbers are wrong, they add up to 70 tons not 60. Now lets move on to the Catapult that also isn't built to handle the stresses of a Gauss rifle, after 5 shots your internal structure would collapse. I have to say that your Flashman design could work beautifully. I am going to discount this last chapter and pretend you are still the author of an impressive work instead of a self aggrandizing wannabe. Godlike OC's are boring and pretentious.
1/13/2013 c5 
10Fenrisulven13
Is this story still "on"?
I like it anyway and I hope to see more of it!
10Fenrisulven13Is this story still "on"?
I like it anyway and I hope to see more of it!
2/19/2012 c1 Anon Writer Dude
I enjoyed this dialog immensely! I don't have any real criticism to offer, but it could use just a couple more good, convincing details to set the scene a bit more concrete. Just add a few details here and there to help convince the reader they are on board a WarShip fleeing Clan held space where their loved ones have either just been killed, or what was no doubt worse, forcibly sterilized.
When I read about the brutality of the Clans under Nicholas, I have to say, I agree with the point of view of McEvedy wholeheartedly. Other texts have always hinted at that from the start: Are the clans the product of a visionary genius or a paranoid man who grew up in the midst of the Amaris Crisis on Terra and witnessed unspeakable brutality in the world around him from his earliest memories on? Sarah McEvedy is the one who will not simply just let it ride. She knows he's a nut for reverting socially to a system of idealized warfare with a dash of society, imposing it on everyone, ingraining deep in each generation that everyone works hard so that the warriors can blow things up and maybe one day make a new Star League.
I thought you nailed the personality.
The Prinze Eugen part was fine. I hope they use it well.
I enjoyed this dialog immensely! I don't have any real criticism to offer, but it could use just a couple more good, convincing details to set the scene a bit more concrete. Just add a few details here and there to help convince the reader they are on board a WarShip fleeing Clan held space where their loved ones have either just been killed, or what was no doubt worse, forcibly sterilized.
When I read about the brutality of the Clans under Nicholas, I have to say, I agree with the point of view of McEvedy wholeheartedly. Other texts have always hinted at that from the start: Are the clans the product of a visionary genius or a paranoid man who grew up in the midst of the Amaris Crisis on Terra and witnessed unspeakable brutality in the world around him from his earliest memories on? Sarah McEvedy is the one who will not simply just let it ride. She knows he's a nut for reverting socially to a system of idealized warfare with a dash of society, imposing it on everyone, ingraining deep in each generation that everyone works hard so that the warriors can blow things up and maybe one day make a new Star League.
I thought you nailed the personality.
The Prinze Eugen part was fine. I hope they use it well.
5/16/2011 c5 bob
keep it going
keep it going
4/23/2010 c5 cklammer
(This review is for chapter 1-5.)
This tale was 23289 words long when I read it. Ten or twenty times would not have been inappropriate IMHO. It is like a skeleton providing a framework for something that isn't there.
Still, I found it very interesting and well-written. Here I am sitting and asking you to consider updating this tale eight years after it was posted - I have got to be crazy.
(This review is for chapter 1-5.)
This tale was 23289 words long when I read it. Ten or twenty times would not have been inappropriate IMHO. It is like a skeleton providing a framework for something that isn't there.
Still, I found it very interesting and well-written. Here I am sitting and asking you to consider updating this tale eight years after it was posted - I have got to be crazy.
10/5/2008 c5 5Matt Quinn
I do like the "cage of azure fire" description.
I also like the description of how Clan Wolverine has its factions, much like the other Clans do.
5Matt QuinnI do like the "cage of azure fire" description.
I also like the description of how Clan Wolverine has its factions, much like the other Clans do.
10/5/2008 c3 Matt Quinn
How did the Wolverines get so powerful? It seems they've got enclaves all over the Inner Sphere and a substantial Periphery empire of their own.
Plus, given the passage of time and their presence in the Inner Sphere, how have they managed to avoid detection?
How did the Wolverines get so powerful? It seems they've got enclaves all over the Inner Sphere and a substantial Periphery empire of their own.
Plus, given the passage of time and their presence in the Inner Sphere, how have they managed to avoid detection?
10/5/2008 c2 Matt Quinn
I know it's canon that the Ghost Bears may have allowed some Wolverines to escape, but when was the Khan informed that this had happened? From the text, I get the impression that Epsilon had saved Delta from a grisly fate, not that anyone was allowed to escape.
It looks like the Wolverines seem to have plan-subvert one or more Periphery nations and use them to their ends?
I liked the comment about the kami. Why is Gunnarson going postal?
I did like the duel between Mechwarriors at the prison camp. However, the Combine guy's decision to forsake his allegiance seemed a little quick.
I also like the idea of the Wolverines having their own Remembrance.
I know it's canon that the Ghost Bears may have allowed some Wolverines to escape, but when was the Khan informed that this had happened? From the text, I get the impression that Epsilon had saved Delta from a grisly fate, not that anyone was allowed to escape.
It looks like the Wolverines seem to have plan-subvert one or more Periphery nations and use them to their ends?
I liked the comment about the kami. Why is Gunnarson going postal?
I did like the duel between Mechwarriors at the prison camp. However, the Combine guy's decision to forsake his allegiance seemed a little quick.
I also like the idea of the Wolverines having their own Remembrance.
10/5/2008 c1 Matt Quinn
I just recently got into Battletech and the Wolverines are among the things that interest me.
This is a promising beginning. I liked how you had the Wolverines recruiting allies among the other Clans' Bandit Castes-if they're rebelling against the Clan system, it makes sense to find others who've done the same.
I just recently got into Battletech and the Wolverines are among the things that interest me.
This is a promising beginning. I liked how you had the Wolverines recruiting allies among the other Clans' Bandit Castes-if they're rebelling against the Clan system, it makes sense to find others who've done the same.
7/12/2006 c5 ShadrachVS
I do love the first few chapters, the spins on 'ancient' history of how they came to be what they are now in the fic.
I do disagree about them having level 3 tech - Necessity is the mother of invention afterall; constantly seeing a spectre of the Kerensky Clan's return to the Inner Sphere alone would have been enough to push any *sane* person into believing scientific advance a Necessity. Couple the knowledge of possible imminent, large-scale annihilation at the hands of the combined Clan forces... with the saved researchers and scientists... and you have the motive and the means.
The story was an excellent read, but I have one point to nitpick with the last chapter... No good commander would ever let a warrior underhim rage free like that, things like that get everyone killed; he would seek a way to solve the issue, or atleast control it.
Otherwise this is well done, even if some of it is a bit 'Min/Max'-ish about the power of the refugees.
I always prefered to believe they completely left known space, lived silently, remembering the wrong paths of those before them. I am hoping to run a BTRPG using WoB Jihad alternate timelines... this story will serve as a bit of that... well minus the activity in the Innersphere.
I do love the first few chapters, the spins on 'ancient' history of how they came to be what they are now in the fic.
I do disagree about them having level 3 tech - Necessity is the mother of invention afterall; constantly seeing a spectre of the Kerensky Clan's return to the Inner Sphere alone would have been enough to push any *sane* person into believing scientific advance a Necessity. Couple the knowledge of possible imminent, large-scale annihilation at the hands of the combined Clan forces... with the saved researchers and scientists... and you have the motive and the means.
The story was an excellent read, but I have one point to nitpick with the last chapter... No good commander would ever let a warrior underhim rage free like that, things like that get everyone killed; he would seek a way to solve the issue, or atleast control it.
Otherwise this is well done, even if some of it is a bit 'Min/Max'-ish about the power of the refugees.
I always prefered to believe they completely left known space, lived silently, remembering the wrong paths of those before them. I am hoping to run a BTRPG using WoB Jihad alternate timelines... this story will serve as a bit of that... well minus the activity in the Innersphere.