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for The Sleeper Awakes

6/30/2019 c1 Guest
Oops, accidentally posted a review intended for another story into here XP
- Starspawn07
2/7/2011 c1 22starspawn07
Overall premise is interesting, but the tension is diluted :/

Too much dialogue and internal monologues. It's like doing a debrief before the action is finished.

I suggest focusing on those scenes which are directly relevant to the plot first, from the POV of a main character.

then add the subplots and background info in a separate section of each chapter.

take your time, but keep the good stuff comin :)

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