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for Talon of the Empire

2/11/2011 c2 1weizhong
Exciting chapter! I like the escalating sense of alarm and urgency. I would suggest a few more details. For example, I know what a MC90 looks like, but I'm pretty sure most people don't. I would also suggest breaking up the larger paragraphs into smaller chunks, and fixing a few typos and increasing comma usage.
2/10/2011 c1 weizhong
Excellent. I like it a lot! I enjoy how Aeron/Talon was reminiscent of Obi-wan/Luke. Aeron seems to mirror Kenobi! Good, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
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