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for Movie Night

5/21/2011 c1 34chronikuru
This is a good idea, but I would recommend that you pick a movie instead of (insert random movie here) or merely say that they were "watching a movie" and then later, "Did you just say this movie sucks?"

Also, part of writing is describing how characters react. Things like *evil smirk* and *giggle* could be better written as, "He smirked evilly," and, "He mentally giggled."

The emoticon is unnecessary. The reader can pick up on the mood without it.

There are a couple spelling errors, for instance "mabye" should be spelled "maybe".

I'm sorry if this review seemed really harsh, but I think you have good ideas and with a bit of work on your writing your stories could be amazing.
2/23/2011 c1 19tchailenova
This is really cute! It would be tons better if you chose a random movie title and inserted it into the story rather than leaving a vague parenthetical statement in there. Right now, with those phrases, it looks incomplete.

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