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1/2/2023 c1 realfan16
...the grammar isn't that bad(I've seen worse). what's hard to ignore tho, is the rush. When madara teleported him we were at point A now we reached point D and I'm left trying to fill up the void. ex: who paid for them medical fees? let's say it was free. How is he in the museum? How did that kadur...i think, get employed as security guard in the museum within 24hr while a good part of "yesterdaywas used on waiting for Naruto in the ICU. Fights pov was all over the place messing up the reading flow. oh well next chap
11/2/2022 c25 wesley melvin
can gohan have wives like hippolyta an irene belserion and ultear milkovich and ur milkovich and wonder woman and aphrodit and cinder fall and summer rose and layla heartfilia and salem from rwby
9/14/2022 c1 Ozzy oz
Ueu
3/29/2022 c25 2Exodia3215
Awesome story so far! Hope u can update soon!
11/20/2021 c1 endersonadonisvasquezromero10
W
9/29/2020 c7 4sadoutomaki
Did you just make a super sentai Reference?
They are the only show that uses the word henshin! (Morphin ) to transform into their ranger suits
8/25/2020 c1 thegrison
Your story flow is way too fast. You need to slow it down and fill in a lot more information. The readers do not know what you are thinking. It would take days to weeks to learn English. The faster person to learn a language took just over 7 days. Even then his words were off a little. Naruto is not the smartest person. It would take him a month, maybe 2-3 weeks with clones. Try again.
6/7/2020 c4 john
it so corny that it hurts
5/6/2020 c2 ManticoreBlues
this fanfic needs some work, I mean, kaldur and Jane find Naruto at the same time, Naruto appears like right next to kaldur, after hospital Naruto goes his seperate way, then within two days of getting on land one of which he spent in the hospital kaldur manages to get a job at a museum, Naruto manages to get a tour at the same museum the day he wakes up, and Jade gets a job to steal a gem from said museum I mean I don't even know if your trying
4/14/2020 c2 Guest
From your footnote I see you mentioned people getting put off with naruto not dominating the dc world or Cheshire having chakra. I think those are fine, but what bothered me was how mellow Cheshire was. There are alot of different versions in comics and tv shows but your version is like is she even a villain? No assassin, especially league trained would

A. let her leave without consequences, seriously if you have someone so talented in the league, highly doubt Ra's would let her go just like that. She still gets "missions" from this chapter, idk if its league missions but like i said Ra's usually keep a tight ship, so i dont know how that can happen.

B. so trusting of random strangers, even if we say yea she felt like helping someone, no way she would go the extra mile and bring them to a hospital and let them stay. Seriously, she's an assassin and thief. Being subtle and manipulative is like basics for her, if she had an underlying plan or purpose I would understand, like she is planning something and all that she is doing is just part of a bigger plan. It doesn't make sense, she should be a bit darker and cynical, untrusting. She said her backstory was basically a young girl who was sold as a slave and were trained and raised by people who are basically specialized criminals.

I know this is your fan fiction and you're right, you can go any direction. You might be trying to set up a redemption arc later for her to be a good guy or whatever. However if you are going to use characters from dc, I think you should portray them as they are and later on if there are character traits you believe would improve the story or just the character themselves, go ahead. Alot of characters us fan read in FF are to relate to what we already know and expand on it. Its just my opinion but this bothered me because I like to see that the dc characters are represented as close to their actual character that was established.

I believe you can improve yourself as a writer as well if you can take your time to move the story along. I dont know if you're doing this for fun or its an experiment but if you have the time fix the pacing a little. Naruto literally just got here and people are talking about their backstory like they haven't gone through shit. Just something to think about, good luck.
2/11/2020 c1 Procrastinating Author
This story was amazing. It always stood out from the usual fan service and wank when it comes to Naruto crossovers. Seeing a Naruto criossover that wasn't centered around him being this ooc badass was different and refreshing. Naruto felt like he belonged with the cast and he blended in so perfectly with them. Characters weren't thrown to the background when he appeared. You gave them their chances to shine and even had Naruto himself in the support role.

Too bad this fandom is so toxic. They want the same reskinned story over and over. I hope you can continue this story one day.
6/18/2019 c1 Guest
I dont know about the contention but I find it hard to believe Cheshire could keep up with 4th shinobi war naruto unless he was half assing.
5/29/2019 c1 AwronZizao
I don't even care if whoever can use Chakra, the biggest piece of bullshit here is the fact Naruto only comes even with Cheshire, I understand he hasn't used sage or Kyuubi mode but still, he's basically the strongest shinobi his world has ever seen, like the entire world. Yet you're going on as if Cheshire can rival him, even remotely? I'd understand if it was someone like Superman or some shit, yet Cheshire would get fucked instantly.
3/28/2019 c25 4Monster King
Great work shame you stopped
1/22/2019 c1 StoneTheLoner
You can't be serious. You actually wrote a story using coincidences? Really?
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