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for Naru the Diclonius

8/8/2012 c5 god of all
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
9/17/2011 c1 OutlawJustice
how about a show of effort? seriously your going to put up a new paragragh for every chapter? no wonder you only have one reveiwer.

here are a few tips to get you better.

1. first chapters- i can't stress how important the first few chapters are in a story. you basically shot yourself in the foot by making the first 5 chapters so short. people most likely didn't even bother to read this fic just because they see such a small word count. standard chapter size is around 2000 words. and personally, i would make the first chapter at least 3000 words. the first chapters are what hook the reader to your story. you want it long and at the same time compelling, it's IMPOSSIBLE to make it compelling with a few hundred words.

2. you need a bata to deal with your grammar.

3. think of a summary of where you want the story to go BEFORE you start writing. this way you won't back yourself into a wall and end up with writer's block.

don't quit writing. you'll get better, and to help improve try reading other people's works, the ones with over 200 reviews in particular. read them and pick the story apart and then look at yours and see the difference and correct them. i'm not just talking about grammar, i'm also talking about overall story flow as well.
3/30/2011 c4 4warrior of six blades
Nice job on this chapter and I goota admit I didn't see the whole naru is lucy's daughter coming but still pretty cool.I wonder how many vectors she has?I can't wait to see the next chapter to find out and to see how naru will use these new powers.
3/29/2011 c3 warrior of six blades
Nice job on this chapter.I wonder wjy the kyuubi fears her so much?Even though I know how tough she is.Trust me I know about her abilities and how dangerous she is with them.Anyway I look forward to seeing how things go for naru in the next chapter and what naru and lucy might talk about.
3/28/2011 c2 warrior of six blades
Nice job on this chapter.I look forward to seeing how things go in the next chapter.Also good job on the whole genjutsu to protect naruto to look like a boy to keep her safe.Because it does sound like something the hokage might try to do to protect her.
3/8/2011 c1 warrior of six blades
Nice job on this chapter.I look forward to seeing how things go in the next chapter.

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