for Shades of Gray8/3/2012 c1 Ireviewthings
That shit cray.
That shit cray.
6/28/2012 c14 
4Brave Soul RMS
Kyla's dead, Lila's dead, Roland looks dead, Rafael and Marcus are dead. DEADE is dead. Dude, how many deaths? I get the whole "emotional impact" thing but damn o.o
Not that all these deaths (or seeming deaths) are a bad thing; not at all. I just can't wait to see what you do with them. Your quality and style of writing are top-notch as usual and what I really can't wait for is for you to update so I can see what the heck's gonna happen next. Keep me posted, man. You've got a big fan in me.
4Brave Soul RMSKyla's dead, Lila's dead, Roland looks dead, Rafael and Marcus are dead. DEADE is dead. Dude, how many deaths? I get the whole "emotional impact" thing but damn o.o
Not that all these deaths (or seeming deaths) are a bad thing; not at all. I just can't wait to see what you do with them. Your quality and style of writing are top-notch as usual and what I really can't wait for is for you to update so I can see what the heck's gonna happen next. Keep me posted, man. You've got a big fan in me.
6/11/2012 c14 4A.D. Aldous Dragon
Finally! I've finished reading all 14 chapters! First of all, I have to say that I am utterly impressed by your work and that your plot was compelling and made me want to read ever more. Your original characters are also rather impressive and well-developed, with Roland obviously as the crowning jewel with his intense history, a hammer-wielding hallucinating mother and his belief in one's own effort in weaving one's own fate. I have to admit though, the last felt a little like a over-used piece of motivation for typical heroes and Roland's procedure to the epiphany upon this belief was rather vague and lacking in detail due to the over-prioritization on action.
However, Alexa did not really click with me. I can understand her anger and frustration at having lost out to Sonya but I have to say the appearance of her Soulscape in the intrusion of DEADE never gave larger and deeper details to her, especially when compared the tremendous change Roland's soulscape had on the readers' understanding of him.
The conflict between Alexa and Roland was also too easily remedied, especially during the rescue portion. It was the first time they seen each other after Alexa was kidnapped and we must also note that Alexa and Roland 'parted' at that point with very bitter friction between them. I can swallow the fact that Alexa may be softened by Roland's efforts to save her but I expected a bit more tension between the two before or during the battle with Rafael beyond a simple "Not now! Transform!", where everything suddenly all fell into place and Alexa and Roland resonated(a feat we have seen to have been detrimental until now) to kick Rafael's ass to kingdom come.
Sonya was an okay character; she is pretty much your typical shy, caring girl, with Demon Hoop as an added feature. The romance between her and Roland has taken an unusual turn. At first, it seemed like they were an official couple, especially with the appealing scenes and the fact that they kissed. However, when you started picturing Roland as having fantasies about Alexa, the romance subplot kind of fell apart there. Sorry, but I think that you had gotten and successfuly taken a great opportunity to have a tremendous emotional settlement between Alexa and Roland in the feather box scene but when Roland started to see Alexa as beautiful in the disco scene, that little gesture might just render the entire settlement redundant. The entire conflict in the first place just seemed to be nothing more than a simple plot point to give trouble for Alexa and Roland during their battles. I do not hate Alexa and Roland together but I just do not think that it is good to end one romance conflict before opening up a new possible one right after that.
Kyla...I have no comment because I do not really have a wide enough feel of her, so I cannot really say much. Personally, I'm not sad that she 'died', though neither am I happy. You chose a relatively unexplored character to die, so the impact of her death may be nothing more than a breeze.
Isabelle and Jackson. While more distant and usually not together with the other two pairs, I must say I like the unity and bond between the two; the fact that Isabelle needs Jackson to stay on earth solidifies that mutual relationship, hence opening up for a romance.
Chris and Claire. Actually, Chris and Claire are the DWMA-version of Rafael and Marcus. Chris and Rafael are the cool heads, though Rafael snapped soon enough. Marcus and Claire are uncouth, rude and taunt-loving weapons. Coupled with Chris' slight sense of humour, this pair was a nice surprise.
All in all, your characters are excellent with a few minor flaws but I hope to see more development for them. For example, Chris and Claire have not changed one bit. Kyla and Sonya also lack their own bit of personal change(which I hope does not come out in another romantic conflict).
There is more that I would like to review about but it is getting late on my side of the world. So I will tell you more of my opinion the next time you update.
Keep up the good work.
A.D.
4A.D. Aldous DragonFinally! I've finished reading all 14 chapters! First of all, I have to say that I am utterly impressed by your work and that your plot was compelling and made me want to read ever more. Your original characters are also rather impressive and well-developed, with Roland obviously as the crowning jewel with his intense history, a hammer-wielding hallucinating mother and his belief in one's own effort in weaving one's own fate. I have to admit though, the last felt a little like a over-used piece of motivation for typical heroes and Roland's procedure to the epiphany upon this belief was rather vague and lacking in detail due to the over-prioritization on action.
However, Alexa did not really click with me. I can understand her anger and frustration at having lost out to Sonya but I have to say the appearance of her Soulscape in the intrusion of DEADE never gave larger and deeper details to her, especially when compared the tremendous change Roland's soulscape had on the readers' understanding of him.
The conflict between Alexa and Roland was also too easily remedied, especially during the rescue portion. It was the first time they seen each other after Alexa was kidnapped and we must also note that Alexa and Roland 'parted' at that point with very bitter friction between them. I can swallow the fact that Alexa may be softened by Roland's efforts to save her but I expected a bit more tension between the two before or during the battle with Rafael beyond a simple "Not now! Transform!", where everything suddenly all fell into place and Alexa and Roland resonated(a feat we have seen to have been detrimental until now) to kick Rafael's ass to kingdom come.
Sonya was an okay character; she is pretty much your typical shy, caring girl, with Demon Hoop as an added feature. The romance between her and Roland has taken an unusual turn. At first, it seemed like they were an official couple, especially with the appealing scenes and the fact that they kissed. However, when you started picturing Roland as having fantasies about Alexa, the romance subplot kind of fell apart there. Sorry, but I think that you had gotten and successfuly taken a great opportunity to have a tremendous emotional settlement between Alexa and Roland in the feather box scene but when Roland started to see Alexa as beautiful in the disco scene, that little gesture might just render the entire settlement redundant. The entire conflict in the first place just seemed to be nothing more than a simple plot point to give trouble for Alexa and Roland during their battles. I do not hate Alexa and Roland together but I just do not think that it is good to end one romance conflict before opening up a new possible one right after that.
Kyla...I have no comment because I do not really have a wide enough feel of her, so I cannot really say much. Personally, I'm not sad that she 'died', though neither am I happy. You chose a relatively unexplored character to die, so the impact of her death may be nothing more than a breeze.
Isabelle and Jackson. While more distant and usually not together with the other two pairs, I must say I like the unity and bond between the two; the fact that Isabelle needs Jackson to stay on earth solidifies that mutual relationship, hence opening up for a romance.
Chris and Claire. Actually, Chris and Claire are the DWMA-version of Rafael and Marcus. Chris and Rafael are the cool heads, though Rafael snapped soon enough. Marcus and Claire are uncouth, rude and taunt-loving weapons. Coupled with Chris' slight sense of humour, this pair was a nice surprise.
All in all, your characters are excellent with a few minor flaws but I hope to see more development for them. For example, Chris and Claire have not changed one bit. Kyla and Sonya also lack their own bit of personal change(which I hope does not come out in another romantic conflict).
There is more that I would like to review about but it is getting late on my side of the world. So I will tell you more of my opinion the next time you update.
Keep up the good work.
A.D.
5/28/2012 c14 4Despicable-D
Awesome!
I'm abit concerned how this is supposed to play out seeing as how most of your main characters seem dead, including your villians.
But who cares.
Can't wait till next time.
I'm still taking O.Cs for my fic if you want to get on the band wagon.
4Despicable-DAwesome!
I'm abit concerned how this is supposed to play out seeing as how most of your main characters seem dead, including your villians.
But who cares.
Can't wait till next time.
I'm still taking O.Cs for my fic if you want to get on the band wagon.
5/13/2012 c1 4A.D. Aldous Dragon
A brilliant first chapter. Found your review on my friend's story and so I decided to check out yours.
I really do not know how to describe how good this chapter was and I'm sure the next few I'll be reading would be just as good if not better than this one. By the way, I noticed the "grandiose" length between your update times and the current 5 month difference from your last update to now. You having a major case of writer's block or busy with life? Don't need to tell me, I would not mind waiting for such incredible pieces of work.
Keep it up, Man in the Hat. Seriously, do continue.
A.D.
4A.D. Aldous DragonA brilliant first chapter. Found your review on my friend's story and so I decided to check out yours.
I really do not know how to describe how good this chapter was and I'm sure the next few I'll be reading would be just as good if not better than this one. By the way, I noticed the "grandiose" length between your update times and the current 5 month difference from your last update to now. You having a major case of writer's block or busy with life? Don't need to tell me, I would not mind waiting for such incredible pieces of work.
Keep it up, Man in the Hat. Seriously, do continue.
A.D.
5/6/2012 c11 4Despicable-D
Yay! Teen angst all around.
Love Alexa's resonance form.
I'd bet a duel between Allison and Roland would be absolutely Blackstar v. KID level at this point.
4Despicable-DYay! Teen angst all around.
Love Alexa's resonance form.
I'd bet a duel between Allison and Roland would be absolutely Blackstar v. KID level at this point.
5/6/2012 c6 Despicable-D
Okay those two need a time out.
Likiing the story so far.
I kinda wish you had been a bit more creative with the weapon forms, you know gave them unique designs but what can you do.
Okay those two need a time out.
Likiing the story so far.
I kinda wish you had been a bit more creative with the weapon forms, you know gave them unique designs but what can you do.
4/24/2012 c13 MadMax210
So if your writer's block is overcome, what's your excuse for the 7 month delay? Lol,no but seriously, another good chapter setting up for something epic.
So if your writer's block is overcome, what's your excuse for the 7 month delay? Lol,no but seriously, another good chapter setting up for something epic.
4/17/2012 c12 MadMax210
Very interesting chapter. The club scene was cute with the meisters and their weapons dancing; not only on the floor; but also along the line of platonic and romanticism. Can't wait to see happends between that.
Very interesting chapter. The club scene was cute with the meisters and their weapons dancing; not only on the floor; but also along the line of platonic and romanticism. Can't wait to see happends between that.
3/28/2012 c13 1Alei-lei
Fun fact:
When i imagine what Roland looks like, I always see Shoichi Irie's face.
...And that's when he's asleep and halfway undressing himself.
(I am SUCH a perv...)
1Alei-leiFun fact:
When i imagine what Roland looks like, I always see Shoichi Irie's face.
...And that's when he's asleep and halfway undressing himself.
(I am SUCH a perv...)
2/6/2012 c1 Alei-lei
FINALLY.
... F^(*in' finally, i caught up and finished the story so far.
Dude, you're awesome. You can survive in the literature world withour even trying. So if i ever meet you in real life, I will CLING TO YOUR LEG AND BEG YOU TO TEACH ME IN YOUR WAYS AND WON'T LET GO UNTIL YOU SAY YES.
Keep going, sir! I love a challenge - especially one that involves reading.
^_^
FINALLY.
... F^(*in' finally, i caught up and finished the story so far.
Dude, you're awesome. You can survive in the literature world withour even trying. So if i ever meet you in real life, I will CLING TO YOUR LEG AND BEG YOU TO TEACH ME IN YOUR WAYS AND WON'T LET GO UNTIL YOU SAY YES.
Keep going, sir! I love a challenge - especially one that involves reading.
^_^
11/18/2011 c11 MadMax210
Cute chapter, bonds grew stronger and Jackson was left confused. Lol, at the watering the fish comment. Still not sure Deade is, but I guess we'll find out.
Cute chapter, bonds grew stronger and Jackson was left confused. Lol, at the watering the fish comment. Still not sure Deade is, but I guess we'll find out.
11/18/2011 c10 MadMax210
Amazing chapter, one of the most complex so far. So many things took place in this one. Deade, Isabelle fighting in the fight for brew, the kiss, and Roland's amazing battle with Rafael. Very well written.
Amazing chapter, one of the most complex so far. So many things took place in this one. Deade, Isabelle fighting in the fight for brew, the kiss, and Roland's amazing battle with Rafael. Very well written.
11/14/2011 c12 4Same Coin
So jealous. It makes my story look like a little minnow against you awsome shark of a story. I kinda want to go cry in a corner now. On another note, woo go drama!
-Alex
4Same CoinSo jealous. It makes my story look like a little minnow against you awsome shark of a story. I kinda want to go cry in a corner now. On another note, woo go drama!
-Alex
10/6/2011 c12 5TheQueenOfPickles
:O new chapter... I think, that this seemed kind of filler. Not that it is a bad thing! it's just building up so it can end in a BOOM! Lol, I like how Roland is in some sort of love triangle...hehehe. I kind of wanted to ask... did you base roland off of yourself? Even somewhat? Anyway, awesome chapter, I thought it needed my awesome seal...
(O O O F F F F F F I I I C C C I I I A L Y Y)
(O O F F F F I C I AAA L Y )
(O O O F F I I I C C C I I I A A L L L Y )
( A W W E E E S S S O O O M M E E E)
( AAA W W W E E S S O O M M M M E E )
(A A W W E E E S S S O O O M M M E E E)
5TheQueenOfPickles:O new chapter... I think, that this seemed kind of filler. Not that it is a bad thing! it's just building up so it can end in a BOOM! Lol, I like how Roland is in some sort of love triangle...hehehe. I kind of wanted to ask... did you base roland off of yourself? Even somewhat? Anyway, awesome chapter, I thought it needed my awesome seal...
(O O O F F F F F F I I I C C C I I I A L Y Y)
(O O F F F F I C I AAA L Y )
(O O O F F I I I C C C I I I A A L L L Y )
( A W W E E E S S S O O O M M E E E)
( AAA W W W E E S S O O M M M M E E )
(A A W W E E E S S S O O O M M M E E E)