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4/19/2019 c16 battle worthy
This is so stupid, written by a child. The plot is all over the place and so fucking childish. What is exactly the plot of this? Adding Ian boy, what the fuck is the connection of that to the plot? And the fact that Derek cares more to that so-called son more than Chloe now, it's so fucking cringy that he even said I love you to him in the most unrealistic and unrelatable way. In just one day of knowing the kid? Are you fucking kidding me? That's so fucking unrealistic. And making him focus on that so-called son more than he should focus on Chloe. Are you that dumb? His scene with the little boy was fluffier than his scene with Chloe. To the point that he even forgot that Chloe was there when Ian came to him. So he can forget Chloe's existence because of the so-called adopted son. This is no longer a ChloeXDerek fanfic, this is more like DerekXIan. So fucking cringy and corny. Heck, Derek can now go back home because he got his so-called son now and that Ian is now his "NUMBER ONE PRIORITY" and Chloe is just an extra, she's less important to him now cause he got a son. Tell me who is Derek's number one priority? It's obvious that it's not Chloe but the beloved adopted Ian, right? He would choose to stay with his beloved son than with Chloe, right? The fact that he was even thinking that Ian boy over Chloe as if he's more important to him. That he can't leave Ian blah blah. There shouldn't be thoughts like that, dumbass! I don't see relevance in that thoughts. What are you doing? Creating a competition who Derek cares about the most? Who he prioritizes more? Chloe or Ian? It's Ian for sure. This is so stupid and all over the place. What kind of stupid plot. So fucking cringy. They are still in fucking high school, for fuck's sake. Let them live like a high school. That is not a mindset of a high school even how mature they are. To hell with the fucking beloved adopted son. Are you gonna give them a child that is not even theirs? Make them play parents while they were still high school students? Disgusting. What a cringy stupid plot.

Derek cares more to that Ian boy. period
Derek with Chloe and he be like thinking he can't leave Ian. Seriously, if Derek will just keep on thinking about his fake beloved son when he's with Chloe then he better leave Chloe and just go back to his beloved son. It's so fucking childish that he's suddenly thinking about that Ian boy as if he's really his son and he suddenly love him so much as if his life depends on him. WTF. That is the most unrealistic shit I've ever seen. He just met the little boy and his feelings for him is suddenly love and that strong? It's already level 100. You must be kidding. Me choking on my own saliva. The feeling is supposed to be pity first and not a sudden strong feelings of love towards the beggar that he just found. What a dumbass. Me falling in love in just one day to a beggar kid that is not even my real son. Unbelievable. Lmao. It supposed to be, I pity that little boy and he's a nice kid, he's supposed to be a little stranger to Derek at first, there should be some adjustment first because EVERYTHING TAKES TIME, it should take a little while before Derek get use to being called dad or whatever the fuck he calls him, but no you make it tooooooooo unrealistic and unbelievable, Derek be like OMG OMG IAN IS MY SON! HE'S MY SON OMG! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IN JUST THE FIRST DAY! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM! IF I LEAVE HIM I WOULD DIE! And take note, Derek is just a fucking high school student. A teenager. A teenager who's still masturbating like a boy. That's how you describe a teenagers mindset? You think he could suddenly be an all out Daddy/Father to a fake son and act like he's more mature than real adult fathers out there? You must be kidding me. Who do you think you're fooling. I know there are mature teenager but this is fucking too much.
Lmao It's stupid how you EXAGGERATED Derek's feelings towards the beggar fake son. I just can't fucking relate.
Why did I fucking waste my time on this mistress/mate vs. little beggar boy/fake son competition. Chloe is just a trash. Derek met that little boy and he developed an unbelievable super strong feelings with that boy instantly(faster than my instant noodles) than with Chloe. Lmao
5/17/2015 c2 6PissedOffTheVamp
Okay you should really do a chapter in Derek's POV of when her friends come over that would be pretty flippin cool to see what he thinks about this
5/17/2015 c1 PissedOffTheVamp
YES I LOVE IT :D I really do. It's amazing. :D But when does she figure out his name is Derek? And that he's not a dog/wolf?
10/14/2014 c16 whatmathlike
when come the next chapter
8/21/2014 c16 Guest
Omg this is just so good, I mean your idea was so original and I am so curious about how this story's end will turn out. Keep writing, you have the gift, but I would work harder on vocabulary, coherence and cohesion, because you kind of made some parts a bit confusing, like when they are but aren't moving to New York. And I would also try to reduce the POV switching. Oh and just for the record I am not saying all this meaningly, I love how you developed your story, just wanted to give some tips because every artist needs constructive critique to evolve! Well, that's all! *thumbs up*
7/21/2014 c5 1MisstyX0007
That is mean i like your stories but just not those scenes ah well
7/21/2014 c14 MisstyX0007
I er okay last part cute
7/21/2014 c13 MisstyX0007
Cute he's jealous of a kitty!
7/21/2014 c12 MisstyX0007
That sucks
7/21/2014 c11 MisstyX0007
Cute i have a cute little kitten again! he was my cat's son the smallest one too! his name is Alex he cabe back hone! he's so cute i never laughed and smiled so much
7/21/2014 c10 MisstyX0007
Last part creepy
7/21/2014 c9 MisstyX0007
Alright then
7/21/2014 c7 MisstyX0007
Alright then second last part was funny i love this its funny and sad and all that stuff
7/21/2014 c4 MisstyX0007
Well that's sad
7/21/2014 c2 MisstyX0007
I really love this!
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