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11/15/2019 c1 Guest
Why would you want Bohogal1998 to 'write more' when she writes so badly? She totally disrespects honest reviewers who've tried to help her improve. Suggest you look elsewhere on the site for better quality content and to support those authors who do RESPECT reviewers.
7/18/2018 c1 kaleik1
confused was this a one shot?
6/23/2018 c1 December Jeffries1
3/3/2014 c1 1Dictionary12
Personally, I thought that the plot was alright, but I would suggest that you get a beta. The sentences were choppy and lifeless and there were a myriad of grammatical errors. These, I can live with, but when you forget to add in the weird things that you put into parentheses, that is where I draw the line. The buck stops here! Now, I hope that you don't think that I'm being rude, because this is constructive criticism, which is what reviews are for. I'm sure you are a great person, but please get a beta, or do something like, I don't know, read over your work! Thank you, and continue to try! There is a writer in you yet!
11/30/2013 c1 44Jyoti
I don't watch Gilmore Girls a lot but I thought the story was interesting and nicely written.
11/28/2013 c1 guest
please continue soon
3/17/2013 c1 1xshynenstarx
Please update this story. I love that Trix is in it. Do Logan's friends know about Rory? Please update
3/16/2013 c1 Guest
awsome story please update
11/18/2011 c1 15LawyerGirl1
Cool idea.
11/15/2011 c1 sfbxfcb
6/14/2011 c1 11dawdler
Good idea.Please continue the story
6/2/2011 c1 Someone Somewhere
Amazing plot! Just a couple of words of constructive criticism. . .

1. Run-on Sentences Galore: You need to separate sentences. A simple period or semicolon would do. EX: Rory just got back from Europe. Now Rory has two weeks at home. . .

2. Dialogue: When starting dialogue, begin with a capital letter and end with punctuation-even if it is just a comma. EX: "Hello,"

3. Comma Splices are a no-no: When connecting two main clauses, put a period or a semicolon. Do NOT just put a comma.

4. Most people don't read well when all the text is in bold. Just a tip.

5. Write out the numbers until you get to 100. So write out thirty.

6. Edit. You seem to have some things in parentheses that you forgot to edit. EX: The two weeks flew by. Rory asked Luke (explain who Luke is) if she . . .

7. When you are talking about lots of something, such as two weeks, there is no need for an apostrophe. When you are talking about someone owning something, that is when you use an apostrophe. EX: the last sentence is talking about a dorm that Logan owns, thus it would be "Logan's" dorm.

8. Rory is not calling her grandmother "Trix." Instead she is calling her "Gram" instead of her actual name. When you call someone "Gram" it acts like a proper noun-a name. Capitalize it.

9. Spell Check: make sure to revise and edit your works so you don't spell words wrong. EX: embressint

10. I would suggest you get a beta.

One of the main reasons people don't get a lot of reviews is that the author's grammar is not adequate. Cleaning up your story would help.

Writing is really fun, and I am not trying to stop you from writing. I am just trying to help you so that more people would read your story, and you could, if writing is your dream, get published. Keep writing.
5/28/2011 c1 KallianaCorus
Okay... So did you really think copying another persons story would go unnoticed? And just because you say they got married in Paris does not change the fact that word for word conversations are copied... I suggest you take this down now and if you really want do do this story write it on your own...

Also, the parts that aren't copied are very poorly writen and honestly I almost stopped reading before I got to the copied part...

I will make sure people who read this know it is copied so don't think you can just ignore me...
4/17/2011 c1 JJsMommy27
so far so good can't wais for an update to see what else happens in this story
4/17/2011 c1 20GilmoreGirlsAddict - Rogan Fan
awsome story

please update really soon
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