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for Bruce meets Wally

8/14/2014 c10 yami.onna
Q.Q I was enjoying this Bleh.. suppose i should have pay attention to the last updated -.-. But it was a good story .
3/24/2013 c8 64numbuh13m
this was cute
11/23/2011 c1 21Unamerican
i like it
8/24/2011 c2 5Catastrofica
Alright here's the deal. If you are going to write a story about this couple, you need to write incharacter. Batman does not say um. I goes against is nature tho write him that way. He would also not ad ha-ha to his internal monologue (thoughts). Neither bruse nor batman have ever appeared indecicive (with the possible acception of someones life being at stake) or sounded like a teenager. You need to fix this, because this story as it is now is not a batman/flash or bruce/wally pairing. It is simple a story about two ramdom people through the voice of the author.
8/7/2011 c7 4Callie24
Haha, I love how Wally is such a big ball of nerves. I like the part when he goes "Bad Wally bad!" too. It's cute! I like it. :)

I would like it if you spent more time on the grammer, though. But the idea is super sweet. Keep going!
7/13/2011 c7 47Kyer
I realize that animated Wally in JL was more...hyper than he was in JLU, Crisis of Two Earths or the books, but he's coming off just a tad (okay, more than just a tad) 'emo!' in this.

Your story, but the ! is starting to grate a bit.
7/12/2011 c7 dragon cath
Hmm... I don't think there are any problems in this. Good job! hahaha. You are on your way to becoming a full time writer =D
6/29/2011 c6 Kyer
Wow. Where is this? Lol Because that's damn cheap rent even for a hole-in-the-wall apartment. We pay 3/4s of our income for a slightly run down 1-room, 1-bath plus utilities and that's considered a good deal. Maybe he should not give an exact dollar amount...or just say that the amount startled Bruce without actually giving the reader a dollar amount.
6/28/2011 c6 Guest
Its rlly giooD
6/28/2011 c6 dragon cath
Thank you! I didn't find any big problems in the two chapters so, GOOD JOB! =)
6/14/2011 c4 Guest
Its awsome
5/30/2011 c4 dragon cath
Hmm... Add detail, not too much of the dialouge. *taps pen to chin* but I've got to admit, this could be turning into fireworks one day with reviews. *sigh* Keep on working! Update! I wanna see how much you have improved from the first chapter to the last. And I bet, if you keep on having more ideas, the more detail there is than the first idea. It worked on me. Since we are both so much alike, I will give you an idea to work on. A request. And since you have read PJO, I'm pretty sure you will get the idea. And I'll help you if you want. Consider my offer. But, UPDATE!
5/30/2011 c3 dragon cath
Wow. Your 14? I'm barely eleven. That stinks for me.
5/29/2011 c4 Kyer
Chorus with the other reviewer: get a beta. You don't have enough knowledge on grammar yet and having your work corrected will be like a learning lesson on what is correct: Like a sentence that is a question always ends in a ? mark.

Also, where I am a fan of excitable and passionate, Wally, this chapter seemed, imho, to overdue it: made worse by the fact that Bruce seemed to be going the same way. Writing a character should be like acting it onstage. You have to write the character how the character would act and not how you would act. To put it another way: I get the feeling that if you were to put Lex Luthor into that chapter he'd be all gushy and self conscious. Maybe not, but *that is the feeling I'm getting while reading the chapter*. It's what's coming across to me whether that is what you meant by your words or not.
5/29/2011 c4 7Glass Canary
Again, I really like the concept and think you've got a good plot here, but girl, you need a beta, you've got a lot of spelling mistakes etc. Just looking through your reviews I see two offers, do me a favour and take somone up on their offer? 'Cause I really do like this story, but I can't help but wince when I see "Luscious" splet "Lushes"
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