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11/8/2012 c1 ForteKham617
Great story on one of the best video game franchizes known to mankind :)
9/16/2011 c2 lightning star
your chapter was wow it was more than i am speachles it was amazing
8/15/2011 c4 mimito13
lol SHUT UP YOU SON OF A HOBO! My father is not a hobo he was a lawyer! This story is hilarios
6/19/2011 c6 3Ocean Krystal
This is my favorite chapter yet!=)

Wonder was is Mephy up to...? Is he actually doing this from the bottom of his black heart, or because he seriously wants Silver and Blaze to have the worst month of their lives?

Well...just keep writting, I'm sure you'll get more reviews later on.^^
6/19/2011 c5 Ocean Krystal
I'm glad Mephy finally showed up in the story.^^
6/19/2011 c4 Ocean Krystal
I told you that the son of a hobo worked better than putting the actual bad word, good job;)
6/19/2011 c3 Ocean Krystal
Ok, funny and all, I'll give you that.

But the first chapters were too short...consider making them longer some time.

And well, even with me watching over the screen to correct your writting...you still need to try to improve it yoursef.

Oh, and btw, you spelled grandfather wrong.

It's 'grandfather' not 'gramfather'.
6/2/2011 c4 2Nocturn360
XD this is great! The only thing you need to work on is spelling. Other then that it is great and funny. Keep goin!
5/14/2011 c5 5Venenum Timere
Umm hmmm...

Well, the plot is interesting enough, you have a bit of humour here and there, which makes it rather likable... but not quite yet.

You have improved quite a bit from chapter 1 to chapter 4, which is great! Congrats!

It is alright to make mistakes but you seem to make the same one over and over again (sorry if I sound harsh), use words that you know how to spell, and what they mean. Even if it sounds childish and simple, it works better than getting the wrong words. Every now and then, look up a new word in the dictionary and try using it, but only is you are sure you know how to use it. I use to have a total s*** vocabulary (excuse my language), just start simple, and work on it (I still have a s*** vocabulary actually, I just have good grammar and sturucture).

Overall though, your story is nice nice, there is room for improvement, which I am sure you can do :)

I look forward to continue reading this, you have a great idea/plot xP
5/8/2011 c5 wolf
lol silver iz stoopid
5/4/2011 c2 3Ocean Krystal
Seriously! LOL!
5/3/2011 c1 4Wise Old p1neapple
I don't want to sound mean, I really don't, but you should consider getting a proofreader. I would be more than happy to help if that's the case. Again, I don't want to sound mean and insensitive, but your story is riddled with spelling and grammar errors. Every time a new person speaks, it should be a new paragraph, and the word bet does not have an "h" in it. If I did come across harshly, I'm sorry, but, seeing as you're new and all. Aside from that, your story should prove to have an interesting plot, and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, update soon

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