for The Warrior and the Queen11/15/2011 c2 
1Darklink29
hey there I'm here again
mmm... this is where Mist go to Trampoli, right?
If this is the case I like the idea
but It was to sad, poor tabatha -_-
you are so cruel
well I hope they meet again
Keep up with this
CHAO ^-^
1Darklink29hey there I'm here again
mmm... this is where Mist go to Trampoli, right?
If this is the case I like the idea
but It was to sad, poor tabatha -_-
you are so cruel
well I hope they meet again
Keep up with this
CHAO ^-^
11/15/2011 c1 Darklink29
Hi there
It like me the other side of tabatha, I did like that Raguna liked Tabatha but It has to be Mist, I don't have nothing against her
And one more thing, I hope that this two get along later
but I like this fic
Keep up with this
Chao
Hi there
It like me the other side of tabatha, I did like that Raguna liked Tabatha but It has to be Mist, I don't have nothing against her
And one more thing, I hope that this two get along later
but I like this fic
Keep up with this
Chao
8/15/2011 c2 That Guy 2099
Soooo...
.
.
...
when is the next chapter coming?
Soooo...
.
.
...
when is the next chapter coming?
5/26/2011 c1 dylon
i like the story but with the inner voice. i think of lord of the rings
i like the story but with the inner voice. i think of lord of the rings
5/15/2011 c2 6Sir Gigous
Hello, it is Sir Gigous, back to review your second chapter.
Sorry for the delay. I've been rather busy lately, but I'm here now to review your second chapter. Personally, I thought this chapter was good. As to your character personalities, the story's plot, pace, and ect., everything was pretty much on par with last chapter. One thing I did notice, however, is that Bianca and Rosetta acted rather OOC this chapter. I realize you did this purposely in Rosetta's case, but you are beginning to stray with Bianca id you didn't notice. She's becoming a bit too helpful for Bianca, at least in my opinion.
Again, the grammar could use a bit of work, although I think it was slightly better this chapter. As to what you could work on, I'm not quite sure how to describe it, other than the fact that you are missing certain words. I'm sorry; I just can't quite remember how to describe it. Just keep working at your writing, as hopefully it'll iron itself out over time.
There were a few issues, too, concerning this chapter that do not apply to the writing itself or the way it was written, but rather the content. First, Cecilia, which you spelled wrong half the time, does not live in Trampoli, and you also just threw in some random OCs whose only purpose was to fill an unnecessary position. Things like this can detract from the reading experience.
Overall, however, this chapter was very good. Though it has a few mistakes, the strengthening plot, good pace, and heartwarming romance more than make up for it. Great job.
-[Sir Gigous]-
6Sir GigousHello, it is Sir Gigous, back to review your second chapter.
Sorry for the delay. I've been rather busy lately, but I'm here now to review your second chapter. Personally, I thought this chapter was good. As to your character personalities, the story's plot, pace, and ect., everything was pretty much on par with last chapter. One thing I did notice, however, is that Bianca and Rosetta acted rather OOC this chapter. I realize you did this purposely in Rosetta's case, but you are beginning to stray with Bianca id you didn't notice. She's becoming a bit too helpful for Bianca, at least in my opinion.
Again, the grammar could use a bit of work, although I think it was slightly better this chapter. As to what you could work on, I'm not quite sure how to describe it, other than the fact that you are missing certain words. I'm sorry; I just can't quite remember how to describe it. Just keep working at your writing, as hopefully it'll iron itself out over time.
There were a few issues, too, concerning this chapter that do not apply to the writing itself or the way it was written, but rather the content. First, Cecilia, which you spelled wrong half the time, does not live in Trampoli, and you also just threw in some random OCs whose only purpose was to fill an unnecessary position. Things like this can detract from the reading experience.
Overall, however, this chapter was very good. Though it has a few mistakes, the strengthening plot, good pace, and heartwarming romance more than make up for it. Great job.
-[Sir Gigous]-
5/10/2011 c1 Sir Gigous
Hello, I am Sir Gigous, here to review your story.
Ah. At last. A Raguna/Tabatha story. How long I have waited for this pairing! It's such a wonderful pairing; so full of emotion and romance and love. I'm glad someone else enjoys this pairing as much as I do.
Onto the review. I thought this chapter was good. The characters seem dynamic, the plot well thought-out (if not a little rushed), and the grammar... average, I suppose. The major thing that stood out to me is your great use of 1st person. You seemed to get into Tabatha's head fairly well, and combined with your strong characters the whole story seemed to flow rather smoothly, save the grammatical mistakes which I'll discuss in a moment. One tip, however, from a fellow author, is that you could use a bit more description in your writing. But otherwise, great job.
One thing you could stand to improve is your grammar. It is unknown to me if this is truly your best or if this chapter was simply rushed, but your grammar could use a bit of work. The biggest thing which stuck out to me is the fact that you are missing words mid-sentence. I'm not really sure how I should go about explaining how to fix this issue, but it needs fixing. Also, you could stand to learn your comma and semicolon usage a bit better, but I feel the aforementioned issue needs to be the main priority for the time being. Otherwise, your grammar was good.
Overall this chapter was good. Your grammar could stand a bit of work, but otherwise I'm excited to be reading a wonderful Raguna/Tabatha fic. Good job.
-[Sir Gigous]-
Hello, I am Sir Gigous, here to review your story.
Ah. At last. A Raguna/Tabatha story. How long I have waited for this pairing! It's such a wonderful pairing; so full of emotion and romance and love. I'm glad someone else enjoys this pairing as much as I do.
Onto the review. I thought this chapter was good. The characters seem dynamic, the plot well thought-out (if not a little rushed), and the grammar... average, I suppose. The major thing that stood out to me is your great use of 1st person. You seemed to get into Tabatha's head fairly well, and combined with your strong characters the whole story seemed to flow rather smoothly, save the grammatical mistakes which I'll discuss in a moment. One tip, however, from a fellow author, is that you could use a bit more description in your writing. But otherwise, great job.
One thing you could stand to improve is your grammar. It is unknown to me if this is truly your best or if this chapter was simply rushed, but your grammar could use a bit of work. The biggest thing which stuck out to me is the fact that you are missing words mid-sentence. I'm not really sure how I should go about explaining how to fix this issue, but it needs fixing. Also, you could stand to learn your comma and semicolon usage a bit better, but I feel the aforementioned issue needs to be the main priority for the time being. Otherwise, your grammar was good.
Overall this chapter was good. Your grammar could stand a bit of work, but otherwise I'm excited to be reading a wonderful Raguna/Tabatha fic. Good job.
-[Sir Gigous]-