Just In
for A Salem Resigning of the Marionette Syndrome

12/3/2018 c1 Post as yourself
So far I'm enjoying this I've been trying to find a decent harry potter storyline that involves Salem (it's a odd search combo indeed). I never understood those that complain about to many pages in a chapter I personally love long detailed chapter, it brings you into the environment and gives a clear picture of what's going on. Short chapters never give out enough content for me why spend 10 minutes reading to wait two weeks for another dinky chapter.
10/19/2011 c2 stallion-ponyta
7/16/2011 c2 Jack of Spades
I think this would be a really good story if only the grammar were better. Have you thought about getting a beta?
5/14/2011 c1 6Accio-Cavy
Generally, when I see crossovers I wince and run away. That may (in part) be because too often they're Twilight slashfics for the scary people who ship Harry/Edward BUT I'm getting off-track here.

I really enjoyed how everybody was kept /perfectly/ in character. The pureblood talk was so perfectly elitist! I was a little weirded out by Lucius suggesting that Draco and Harry be friends at first, but then after a second I realised how IC it is. Weaselly little critter, Lucius Malfoy. I also really like your take on Malfoy. Again, it was a tad weird at first, but I really like him as a silly little kid. A lot of fanfics have him as totally serious all the time, but I like how in your story he's three-dimensional: he can be pompous, or he can rant and read the Quibbler.

Just a few quick things I'd suggest you take a look at:

1. 'muggle' is a proper noun and so should be capitalised (Muggle)

2. some of your phrasing is a touch awkward-"would of" should be "would have" for example, and one doesn't have a "secondary hand" owl, one has a "second-hand" owl.

3. It was a bit odd how all the pureblood kids knew what anime and Muggle stuff was. If you provide a bit more background about how they learned about it, it will be fine though. Overall, I definitely enjoyed your fic!

On that note, I would like to refer you to a creative roleplaying site called Rocky Mountain International (www. rmimagic .com). From this story it looks like you'd fit in wonderfully with the other creative writers there, and I think they need a staff member right now too. You should definitely take a look. :)

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service