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for Happily Never After

5/21/2011 c1 feather heavy
Why did you end it there? It sounds soooo good and it could keep going! You should make it more than a one shot! Please?
5/19/2011 c1 1Ryasaurus-Rex
It probably would fit more under hurt and comfort category. Um the style you write in is a bit strange, its like he is narrating in third person which is kind of annoying but unique in a way. Also, your sentences are really choppy and fragmented which doesn't help with the third person narration. This story sounds like a happy version of another oneshot that I have read. Well you left the ending open for a second chapter but I don't think you should add onto the story, instead have the audience just imagine everything is now better and Dave isn't gonna commit suicide.
5/18/2011 c1 4Waytooold4this
I really enjoyed your inside look at Dave. Would like to know what happens with Dave and Kurt.
5/17/2011 c1 FanofChrisCMaxA1
Wonderful story. Glad Kurt got there in time.
5/17/2011 c1 Bearcho
Don't be so hard on yourself, it is angst, don't say you can't, just say "I hope you like it", because I almost believed you when you said it wasn't a good fanfic, but I did like it a lot, and I hope in the future you can go on with the story. Please, don't put yourself down when you make something and say that it sucks, have confidence in yourself.

^_^
5/17/2011 c1 5heymama27
This is good. Clever :) I really liked it. And you in no way need to pracctice your angsty writing. It is awesome.

Good job :)
5/16/2011 c1 2Dahlia23
Hi,

I don't think you suck at angst. At all. I think with practice, and patience, you'll be very, very good at it. The thing I noticed is that it felt a tad bit rushed-to make readers really *feel* you have to let readers become part of a character, without getting too wordy and boring.

Do you work with a prereader or beta? if you ever need a prereader, PM me. :)

Anyway, great start at angst!

Btw, if you still need prompts, how about a o/s based on Someone Like You by Adele? Just a thought.

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