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for Be Still

12/9/2019 c2 Guest
Please write another chapter
8/16/2011 c1 CarmillaD
You know how reserved I am with some genres and the reasons that kept me away. However, I managed to read the first chapter thanks to DxC4ev3r's publication on DA, so I came here to tell you that I'm impressed by your narrative, you've done a wonderful job with Duncan's perspective: the flashbacks, the description of his surroundings and the people he interacts with...

Reading the fic's genre, I think we all know what happens next, so I just wanted to review and congratulate you before it happens and breaks my heart (With your great narrative, I'm going to end up as an emotional wreck, but if you can cause that kind of emotions in your readers that proves you're going in the right way)
8/14/2011 c2 Momorulz
Dunkie a softie
6/12/2011 c1 12Kurious Killer
This Duncan is a very refreshing POV. All the ones that I have read so far have Duncan as a huge douche bag or an extreme bad boy.

But here, in your story, he much softer but he doesnt let that show when he talks to other people. But we can see it in his actions and thoughts.

He may be a tad off character but for this story, it works. So keep Duncan like this becuase it gives him more deeper personality than other stories.

Now what character would I like to see? Courtney of course but is she a friend, a girl friend, a crush, is it a deep relationship with her? or a fling?

Geoff along with DJ or Owen to help him along with his problems and grief.

Gwen. Is she an old fling, an old relationship? A friend? or does she even exist?

What will happen? Duncan's father will die, the first paragraph made that very clear which is good. It gives the audience food for thought. Will he be dead when they get there or will he be hanging on to life?

Then the reader thinks, how long will this story last and how will it continue? I for one am very curious as to how this story will turn out. I look forward to reading more.

Update whenever you feel up to it. Dont try to meet a deadline. Never rush your story. becuase a rushed story is a muddled story. and this story is good becuase the reader can see that you took time to write this story and didnt just throw words on a piece of paper.

Hope I helped you in some way.

-KK
6/5/2011 c1 13Islanda
Ummm...WOW. I really don't know what to say. This story was really deep, and I'd love to see more. Duncan was totally in character, and I really want to see what happens with his dad! Please, keep writing! :)
6/3/2011 c1 29Alexex
Whoa... just whoa, so intense!

I haven't read a story narrated by Duncan in a long while, and you did this extremely well! It had me on the edge of my seat near the end!

And what a way to end the chapter, I can't wait for more.

One thing to watch is your grammar, only a few minor details to fix up, nothing major.

Update soon!
6/1/2011 c1 65Sakura Blossom Storm
One review? ONE REVIEW? That's it! I'm doing something about this!

This is rediculous! Your stories are getting brushed aside like they're nothing when they are so much better then most the stuff on this site!

Like this for example, it was such an amazing first chapter, like I said to you before I love it how you've based it like its the calm before the storm, this is the DeLuca home life and nothing out of the ordinary will happen until the dramatic throw of their father getting shot.

I really like how you're portraying this through Duncan's mind, everything was in character and very Duncan-ish! I liked how he was so bitter to those police officers, good ol' Duncan will always be able to hold himself even against them!

I really liked how this started off, like I said before, this deserves more than one review (two now!) And I'll make sure this doesn't go unnoticed!

Keep up the great work! :D

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