for Demon Boy6/13/2017 c1 LittleMaidel
This is Brilliant. The bracketing of some of the words really makes them seem hidden but real without detracting from their emotionalness. All of the emotions and their causes/effects make sense to me.
This is Brilliant. The bracketing of some of the words really makes them seem hidden but real without detracting from their emotionalness. All of the emotions and their causes/effects make sense to me.
6/21/2016 c1 Guest
This is very deep and emotional
This is very deep and emotional
1/24/2012 c1 
25Kitsune1978
It was so SAD.
Sometimes I can't believe Naruto has grown like that - smiling, strong, understanding and helpful. That story was like from dark Naruto's point of view, or young Gaara's. Emotions were so intense I had to stop reading from time to time. Really good job.
25Kitsune1978It was so SAD.
Sometimes I can't believe Naruto has grown like that - smiling, strong, understanding and helpful. That story was like from dark Naruto's point of view, or young Gaara's. Emotions were so intense I had to stop reading from time to time. Really good job.
1/22/2012 c1 58TenchiSaWaDa
THis was brutally painful to read.
I want to know if u intentionally smashed the words together to make it 'hard to read' so that we needed to read carefully into it.
If so, than you should have done it with all the in between lines.
Overall a very heart breaking and emotional story.
Great job.
58TenchiSaWaDaTHis was brutally painful to read.
I want to know if u intentionally smashed the words together to make it 'hard to read' so that we needed to read carefully into it.
If so, than you should have done it with all the in between lines.
Overall a very heart breaking and emotional story.
Great job.
11/25/2011 c1 Hi
I was in the verge of tears the entire time. That really was fantastic, i can not express how much I enjoyed this.
I was in the verge of tears the entire time. That really was fantastic, i can not express how much I enjoyed this.
10/31/2011 c1 12TheNarator
i LOVE this story! i like the style with the little asides in brackets, sort of reminiscent of a semi-surreal piece of animation or film, where the dialogue and action are cut periodically with small, blurry insights into characters minds. i also love a lot of the points you made. i sort of go back and forth on how i feel about kakashi, i mean yes he does a lot, but he could have done a hell of a lot more, and whether or not there's any excuse for that is a matter of perspective. there are days when i respect him for his abilities and his role in the story, as well as feeling sorry for what he's been through, and there are days when i marvel at how much he just DIDN'T DO when he had the chance. i like this sort of story that elaborates, even just a little, on the childhood naruto probably had before the story got rolling, and you also make a good point about many of his relationships even once the story has started. despite having "friends" many of his relationships are either complicated by secrets and stronger ties to other characters, or else superficial due to lack of sufficient time to interact with characters that he might actually be able to develop strong bonds with. and don't even get me STARTED on sasuke. i like sakura and all but anyone can see that this . . . "relationship" is not the best for either of them.
wow that turned out really long. sorry for the, idk, rant or whatever, but i really like your story, your style and the perspectives you bring up. you are very insightful and atypically talented.
12TheNaratori LOVE this story! i like the style with the little asides in brackets, sort of reminiscent of a semi-surreal piece of animation or film, where the dialogue and action are cut periodically with small, blurry insights into characters minds. i also love a lot of the points you made. i sort of go back and forth on how i feel about kakashi, i mean yes he does a lot, but he could have done a hell of a lot more, and whether or not there's any excuse for that is a matter of perspective. there are days when i respect him for his abilities and his role in the story, as well as feeling sorry for what he's been through, and there are days when i marvel at how much he just DIDN'T DO when he had the chance. i like this sort of story that elaborates, even just a little, on the childhood naruto probably had before the story got rolling, and you also make a good point about many of his relationships even once the story has started. despite having "friends" many of his relationships are either complicated by secrets and stronger ties to other characters, or else superficial due to lack of sufficient time to interact with characters that he might actually be able to develop strong bonds with. and don't even get me STARTED on sasuke. i like sakura and all but anyone can see that this . . . "relationship" is not the best for either of them.
wow that turned out really long. sorry for the, idk, rant or whatever, but i really like your story, your style and the perspectives you bring up. you are very insightful and atypically talented.
8/21/2011 c1 40snowflake98
Hmm... Definitely makes you think [good writing always makes you think] about the Naruto under the smile... Using the brackets was a good idea. Something (the "voice" you used?) made it feel like you were switching over to Gaara's story when you started writing about "the attempted assassination," so that was a bit confusing. Even so, this story is very well written; I like the way it changes your view of the ways things happened, such as Naruto having killed before Haku (even if it was just a stalker ^^) and how the scars on his cheeks got there. The last sentence was kind of long, to be more dramatic, you could have broken it up some? Anyway, I do love this story, it's awesome. I don't favourite things too often, but this story deserves it [and more reviews]!
3, snowflake
(Sorry for the concrit, you can ignore it if it's not appreciated. ^^)
40snowflake98Hmm... Definitely makes you think [good writing always makes you think] about the Naruto under the smile... Using the brackets was a good idea. Something (the "voice" you used?) made it feel like you were switching over to Gaara's story when you started writing about "the attempted assassination," so that was a bit confusing. Even so, this story is very well written; I like the way it changes your view of the ways things happened, such as Naruto having killed before Haku (even if it was just a stalker ^^) and how the scars on his cheeks got there. The last sentence was kind of long, to be more dramatic, you could have broken it up some? Anyway, I do love this story, it's awesome. I don't favourite things too often, but this story deserves it [and more reviews]!
3, snowflake
(Sorry for the concrit, you can ignore it if it's not appreciated. ^^)
7/9/2011 c1 3Dantalions
Damn, that was dark. I loved it. I especially liked the couple sentences at the end.
3DantalionsDamn, that was dark. I loved it. I especially liked the couple sentences at the end.
7/5/2011 c1 5Bacon.The.Bard
Very nice! I always enjoy a good dose of whumped-and-smart!Naruto, and yours was deliciously written. Nice twist with his whisker marks, too.
~Bard
5Bacon.The.BardVery nice! I always enjoy a good dose of whumped-and-smart!Naruto, and yours was deliciously written. Nice twist with his whisker marks, too.
~Bard
6/29/2011 c1 34chronikuru
That was amazing and beautiful and sad and the writing was evocative and brilliant.
34chronikuruThat was amazing and beautiful and sad and the writing was evocative and brilliant.