for Just 30 Days6/27 c8 crayonbird
Although I am enjoying the plot, I am quitting this story due to the deplorable grammar. You need to pick 1 tenseeither past or present- and stay with it. Also you need to pick 1 voice and stay with that too (at most 1 voice per chapter). You can not use first and 3rd persons view in the span of 3 sentences (unless one of those sentences are dialogue). Perhaps a betaor some basic writing classes would help you improve
Although I am enjoying the plot, I am quitting this story due to the deplorable grammar. You need to pick 1 tenseeither past or present- and stay with it. Also you need to pick 1 voice and stay with that too (at most 1 voice per chapter). You can not use first and 3rd persons view in the span of 3 sentences (unless one of those sentences are dialogue). Perhaps a betaor some basic writing classes would help you improve
9/3/2020 c23 Obsessive reader 7
Great story! Loved the humor! Also it was refreshing to find a story where Ron and Hermione divorce because they realize they just weren’t right for one another!
Great story! Loved the humor! Also it was refreshing to find a story where Ron and Hermione divorce because they realize they just weren’t right for one another!
3/2/2017 c23 
21wine witch
Nice, interesting plot. Nevertheless, the story urgently needs to be betaed.
21wine witchNice, interesting plot. Nevertheless, the story urgently needs to be betaed.
10/21/2016 c22 15Saissa
He never really answered the question. He still has not said that he would put her feelings ahead of his own! Only that if they co-exist - ie they are going in the sane directions - but if her feelings suddenly change directions - does he then kick her out?
He really needs to answer the question!
15SaissaHe never really answered the question. He still has not said that he would put her feelings ahead of his own! Only that if they co-exist - ie they are going in the sane directions - but if her feelings suddenly change directions - does he then kick her out?
He really needs to answer the question!
10/21/2016 c18 Saissa
UM - this was supposed to be a HG and SS story - so far the last thing that looks happening are HG and SS getting together...
I realise that we do have 5 more chapters, so...?
UM - this was supposed to be a HG and SS story - so far the last thing that looks happening are HG and SS getting together...
I realise that we do have 5 more chapters, so...?
10/21/2016 c12 Saissa
Hermione was right and Ron was wrong - they shoulld have that talk BEFORE they went to the pool part like Hermione wanted, NOT After like Ron wanted!
Hermione was right and Ron was wrong - they shoulld have that talk BEFORE they went to the pool part like Hermione wanted, NOT After like Ron wanted!
10/21/2016 c8 Saissa
Selena called his bluff and he opted to write a book - but now it will be a ghost-written tell-all book?
MM Cant wait for that book to come out!
Selena called his bluff and he opted to write a book - but now it will be a ghost-written tell-all book?
MM Cant wait for that book to come out!
10/21/2016 c7 Saissa
At some point in here, Does Severus KNOW that he is suppoed to be working up to asking Hermione out? Before Ron actually wakes up to demand she marry him again, forcing Hermione to say yes again because she has no other "better" offers? Is he aware that this is what he is working towards? Because we all know that Severus is a much better offer than Ron!
At some point in here, Does Severus KNOW that he is suppoed to be working up to asking Hermione out? Before Ron actually wakes up to demand she marry him again, forcing Hermione to say yes again because she has no other "better" offers? Is he aware that this is what he is working towards? Because we all know that Severus is a much better offer than Ron!
3/30/2016 c20 Bewitchedgal
I have enjoyed your story thus far but am now having a huge problem. You must never have been married or I am so out step with time that I do not see things clearly.
One does not end a marriage and do it so easily. Even if Hermione and Ron so want to divorce you do not walk away from lost hopes and dreams without deep pain and hurt.
I have enjoyed your story thus far but am now having a huge problem. You must never have been married or I am so out step with time that I do not see things clearly.
One does not end a marriage and do it so easily. Even if Hermione and Ron so want to divorce you do not walk away from lost hopes and dreams without deep pain and hurt.
3/29/2016 c5 Bewitchedgal
People often think the roses and dinners are the beginning and end all in romance but the little things daily and are so romantic too-a smile from across the room, someone squeezing your hand just to let you know they are there-pulling out a chair, and lots of compliments-all so romantic too.
People often think the roses and dinners are the beginning and end all in romance but the little things daily and are so romantic too-a smile from across the room, someone squeezing your hand just to let you know they are there-pulling out a chair, and lots of compliments-all so romantic too.
3/22/2016 c23 7Imwaiting4myAliceandEdward
I loved this story! Marriage Law stories can sometimes be monotonous, but I thought you did a good job with the creativity in making it unique. I enjoyed which characters you chose and how they interacted. There were a few character flaws I found towards the middle, but I still enjoyed reading this and the involvement of the characters. :)
7Imwaiting4myAliceandEdwardI loved this story! Marriage Law stories can sometimes be monotonous, but I thought you did a good job with the creativity in making it unique. I enjoyed which characters you chose and how they interacted. There were a few character flaws I found towards the middle, but I still enjoyed reading this and the involvement of the characters. :)
11/7/2015 c23 Guest
This was one of the best stories about relationships I've read in FanFiction. I think you are a stupendous author, and look forward to reading your other works. Awesome Marriage Law fic, unexpected pleasure to read... On a side note, why do you put an 's' on the word mine? Only consistent error in whole piece, so I'm thinking it must have been done intentionally.
This was one of the best stories about relationships I've read in FanFiction. I think you are a stupendous author, and look forward to reading your other works. Awesome Marriage Law fic, unexpected pleasure to read... On a side note, why do you put an 's' on the word mine? Only consistent error in whole piece, so I'm thinking it must have been done intentionally.
9/20/2015 c23 2Jessie Deal
I really liked your story. One of the best parts was the conversation Ron and Hermione had about breaking up. I liked how you had thought enough to have them an actual history and habits of behaviour (which is to be expected - but you've highlighted it well).
Good job about all the different couples and their marriage situations, too. It was really nice to see the different aspects that the law created.
But please please please fix the first/third person and spelling. It's distracting from an otherwise great story
2Jessie DealI really liked your story. One of the best parts was the conversation Ron and Hermione had about breaking up. I liked how you had thought enough to have them an actual history and habits of behaviour (which is to be expected - but you've highlighted it well).
Good job about all the different couples and their marriage situations, too. It was really nice to see the different aspects that the law created.
But please please please fix the first/third person and spelling. It's distracting from an otherwise great story
9/19/2015 c7 Jessie Deal
You really must correct the first-third person. It's not hard to fix while reading but it is distracting and making me enjoy this less than I probably should
You really must correct the first-third person. It's not hard to fix while reading but it is distracting and making me enjoy this less than I probably should