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for Meeting of the Fallen

12/18/2011 c8 8Battleangel911
Nice ending. I liked the final scene being Mary meeting with James again.

Keep on writing.
12/18/2011 c6 Battleangel911
Hi,

I liked the scene between Joshua and Vincent. I thought about Vincent in SH 3 and how he was messed up in the head like Claudia. It was interesting that you showed him regretting how he treated Claudia and felt he was partially responsible for how she turned out. At first, I thought, "Hey, when did Vincent ever care about Claudia?" But then I thought about how he could have had that moment before he died where he has a moment of redemption. It is possible that after death, Vincent can see clearly and understand his sins. I look forward to reading more.
12/4/2011 c3 Battleangel911
Hi,

The story is interesting so far. You brought some good characters together.
8/14/2011 c8 6GlaringEyes
I'm using the reviews list to clarify some of the reviewers' doubts:

To Tony Branston: Well, in a way, it is another character. Josh's vengeful side (Amnion) is not Josh himself, but the embodiment of Silent Hill's powers. Just like Mary and Maria are not the same character. And I altered the first paragraph of chapter 8 to make it less redundant.

To Vampuric Spider: I kinda expected someone to find the last chapter rushed. That's because I wanted to show only the spots in SHH where Mary could have helped Alex. I didn't want to describe the entire game, otherwise it would have been a novelization of SHH, not a side-story (which was my intention).

To Etcha: Just as you said, James could have ended up trapped in Silent Hill after his death as well. But he probably couldn't see (or interact with) Mary, and she couldn't see him too (just as she couldn't help Alex). That was their punishment: to be indefinitely apart from each other, until they individually atoned for their own guilt. James was in Heaven, but it didn't mean he had been there for long. He could even have arrived there at the same time as Mary.
8/8/2011 c8 2Etcha
D'awww, I really liked this!

I'm glad that Mary managed to find peace and to be with James again but I feel a little iffy that James was in Heaven, because he had committed suicide in my opinion I thought he would have ended up in Hell, or trapped in Silent Hill because he felt guilty and couldn’t forgive himself for what he had done.

Anyways, I also like the bit where Josh takes a photo of Alex. I was always wondering what that photo of Alex in the game was all about, lol xD;;
8/8/2011 c8 6Vampuric Spider
This is a very good and interesting story. I loved how you tied Josh's transformation together. I wish this chapter was a little longer in the sense that it seemed rushed, but I look forward to reading your other stories. Keep up the good work.
8/8/2011 c8 1Not at home
The note for chapter 6 made it sound like you were going to bring in another unrelated character as Josh's inner voice. That might have been interesting, but I imagine it wouldn't have made as much sense as the vengeful Josh manifestation.

So...yeah. I approve.

Only other thing is the description of Wheeler looked a little awkward and somewhat redundant. In fact, you could probably remove the whole first paragraph of chapter 8 and not lose anything important.

Still, overall, pretty good.
7/28/2011 c6 6Vampuric Spider
Nice ending. I love the way the events are moving and I cannot wait to find out who the mysterious voice is.
7/28/2011 c6 1Not at home
While it certainly was unexpected, Vincent, to me, always seemed too self-righteous to get hung up over Claudia (or, if he's lying, any of the things he did in SH3 for that matter.)

Another thing I'd like to mention is, while I find myself wondering if Josh really sounds nine a few times, having him just blow off the inner voice with "leave me alone" worked.
7/21/2011 c5 Not at home
Lacking an in-depth knowledge of Homecoming, I'm not entirely sure why Josh would be shocked to hear about Walter being a killer, but not Travis.

But that's about the only thing that's really bugging me in this fic. Not bad.
7/19/2011 c5 6Vampuric Spider
Much better. In the active voice the story flows smoother. Good use of language as well. One quick note when the voice was talking to Josh about self-defense you do not need to include "himself" because the way you wrote the sentence makes the reader understand that Alex did not kill Josh in self defense.
7/18/2011 c5 2Etcha
Really loving this! Please continue!
7/15/2011 c4 1XxCaptainShadows11xX
great story:D I love it. Imma add this to my favriotes and keep writtig more.
7/12/2011 c4 6Vampuric Spider
I'm enjoying the concept and the mystery of the voice. Just a few ideas instead of using answered him or answered her try using a more active he/she or the name of the character to make it less passive. Also in chapter 3 you used the word worthy in a strange way. Did you mean revenge was not worth it? Because that sounds better in the context of that particular sentence. Anyway those are a few suggestions but content wise and character wise this is awesome.
7/12/2011 c1 Vampuric Spider
A good start. I am enjoying the atmosphere and the story. One quick thing the phrase thought him is kind of awkward sounding. Can't wait to read more.

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