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for Tsuna: Ryozanpaku's Second Disciple

11/7/2015 c5 yali
yo me quede con ganas de leer mas q injusto
6/18/2015 c5 1Dage
Hmm it's a good concept(actually surprised there isn't more of this crossover) but poorly executed. There are some grammatical errors, proper nouns that need to be capitalized, and the dialogue is very choppy and too close together making it a strain on the readers eyes.
9/7/2013 c3 Guest
How come you made Tsuna not care about his friends or Reborn about the mafia
7/12/2013 c5 3Lychee115
This is awesome! Please continue to write!
I really like this crossover, since both are my favourite animes. It's so awesome and the story is really smooth. A bit too smooth though, you could have put in a part about Gokudera complaining or sth. But overall, it was well written and nice to read.
Please continue to write! Or type...haha :)
2/15/2013 c5 TsuKiLo
I'm sorry to say this but... It was kinda bad. KINDA! That was only because you rushed on th whole thing. Try better and put some thinking into it!
12/14/2012 c5 majishan
i wonder if Tsuna's guardians are gonna drop in the dojo...
11/27/2012 c5 person
Dude, this is a basic outline. If I were your teacher I would give a D at most. Maybe a C but you need to take more time and not stray from the characters personality. Tsuna would be too scared to stay and Reborn would force him.
11/5/2012 c3 Guest
Okay, this has major potential however:

No way in hell would tsu-kun just tell him about everything that's happened to him. He'd be risking kenichi's safety

He wouldn't just leave the rest of the family

Reborn would have made his guardians transfer over too.

Reborn would never let tsuna disagree with him

The characters are severely lacking their proper personalities

There are some major grammar issues

When there is a new person speaking make it a different paragraph

I honestly don't think that kenichi would ever believe his story and if he did it would take him quite a while to get over it.

Add on more stuff: it's all" this happened, then he did this, the she did that"

Etc. etc.

I suggest rereading both mangas for better references.

Please continue updating :)
8/27/2012 c5 5ChordOverstreetFan
If Tsuna insisted on transferring, Reborn would make his guardians transfer. Even if there's no mafioso in the new school, he could still be in danger so Reborn would insist on him having at least one or two of his guardians with him at all times. Just because he'll be living in a dojo doesn't mean he'll be safe.

You do realize he's in the mafia, right? At the very least, an ally has to transfer with him - and his cousin can't count because he isn't in the Vongola.
6/23/2012 c5 2Dovahkiin the Imperial
Ok so it is a great idea however you lack the proper personalities within the character like for one they aren't enthusiastic to meet each other, reborn is too quiet, tsuna is not a jerk who just abandons his friends and family also if he disagreed with reborn he would have gotten shot, and the biggest plot hole is than no one comentted on the fact that reborn is a baby seriously you need to read the manga then this and rewrite it cause also has little to no detail its just 'he does this then this then this, and thats it' no action or descriptions.
12/18/2011 c2 chococandyz
Continue please? I really really like this fanfic! Please don't stop updating! It's has the potential to become a very good one! Though I would like some more paragraphs, my eyes have been failing me(not insulting you or anything). Oh can I give some suggestions? Can you make the characters' conversations more informal? I feel that its had been a bit too tat formal, please excuse me for this.TT^TT
7/27/2011 c2 rockon5002
Ok dude I have to ask did you even read this cuse it's almost impossible to understand you repeat sentences write things an unnecessary ammount of times case in point this sentence.

As Kenichi and Tsuna continue to catch up in great length with each other. Tsuna and Kenichi continue to catch up with each other in great length more as Tsuna is laying on the futon on the floor next to Kenichi's bed, that Kenichi is laying in, both cousins facing each other. Both cousins Kenichi and Tsuna keep doing so until they both are the last two people on the premises to fall asleep.

I mean really did you have to say it like that you couldn't have writen it any more simply that that and did you have to put both ther names after both cousins do you really think were stupid enough to forget who you talking aboutnot even 1 word later it's pretty insulting cause it suggests that you think that were so unintelligent that we have to have everything spelled out to us many time in one after the other and provided the reader did not suddenly suffer a massive head trauma and as a result developed a case of amnesia or some other memory based illness then I pretty sure we can handle figureing out what you talking about when it was mentoned in the sentence mere monents ago sorry if the come off dickish but you should really be able to do a better job then this which either tells me you half-assing it and if you not going to put in the effort when this is entirly a volintary thing then why did you even start in the first place or your makeing the mistakes and not going back to correct them which I get can become tedious over time but still as I said this is volintary if you don't want to do it why are you?
7/11/2011 c2 2alkizor
i noticed that there was a slight error in ages, at one point kenichi describes tsuna as being his 'older' cousin however inthe anime/manga kenichi is in his second yearof high school and tsuna is in middle school
7/10/2011 c2 1Black7kitten
both of them are like each other.

Tsuna-dame,weak,bad grades,looks are so-so,tutor from hell.

Kenichi-dame,weak,bad grades,looks so-so,masters from hell.

now they are strong but still weak from eyes of people from hell.
7/10/2011 c2 1knightoftheocean
FIRST! i really really liked this please update as soon as you can. also i have to say when is this happening in the arcs?

like future arc in khr yami arc in kenichi? just tell me and i reall really like this :) continue writing

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