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for Pull the Curtain

10/7/2011 c1 bookivore
Interesting notion, and I like the way you've written it mostly. I do think you should rewrite the narrative part where you go into the first person to talk about Lucius so that it is from the omniscient POV instead ('Not a pathetic sort of sad...', remove the I thinks and I saids, etc.) because I spent a certain amount of time wondering if it was the author, a guard, or some other narrator chatting away there, and I think the omniscient POV would fit well.

I especially like Lucius grooming himself like a cat, you know he didn't do that good a job of it, and how pleased he was. Silly Lucius.

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