Just In
for Hungary's Birthday

8/12/2012 c1 that wuz awsum
i luv japhun. japhun is definatly the most awesum thing in the world besides pruhun! .
10/20/2011 c1 1secretassassingirl
YAY! HAPPY B-DAY HUNGARY! XD America, Japan. ya'll are 2 sweet!
7/16/2011 c1 Aurazelia
Very funny!
7/16/2011 c1 2TariNolatari
Weeeeell, I definitely have some constructive criticism for you. There are several things that are terribly wrong, but I have faith in your writing.

1. What on /earth/ gave you the brilliant (*£&*) idea to use dialogue-style text with a key, rather than actual prose, just plopped there in the middle of the story? And the /key/? Not to be too harsh or anything, but what the fuck?

2. I /adore/ this dialogue, but I don't see the reason for a piece of writing created entirely for the purpose of stealing someone else's dialogue. This is you first fanfiction, so I'm assuming you were excited and overall just feeling awesome to post anything. I know the feeling. But trust me, not everything has to go down on paper, and not everything written has to go online.

3. Lastly, I want to say again that I really do believe that you have potential as a writer. The part of the story not in dialogue format was not Carrol or Dickens, but not below mediocre. I have faith in you, grasshopper. Did you really think I didn't know how cliche that was getting?


Tari N.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service