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for The Jedi in Exile

10/27/2019 c6 Falconress
It's okay please post more
5/19/2015 c1 5Richman4066
10/9/2014 c1 4EveryWriterNeedsInspiration

And wouldn't the people at fablehaven have seen Star Wars? And their reactions to finding aayla are completely not caring 'we just found an alien with an energy blade and the ability to read minds and move things without touching them, no biggie'

And no Aayla wouldn't fall for Seth, she was already engaged to Commander Bly, and when Aayla thought 'what are you saying he's a human' Twi'leks married humans all the time.

And Aayla could beat those monsters in two seconds. She is one of the best fighters in the entire Jedi Order.
12/31/2011 c4 AaylaKit
Only one mistake here... it's not a thing, it's a lightsaber, not its not a thing, it's a lightsaber. It's means it is.
12/31/2011 c2 AaylaKit
Sorry, just pointing out a couple things...

1. Where am I?, not Were am I?

2. You're at Fablehaven, not Your at Fablehaven

3. Paths, not path's.

4. New paragraph when someone else starts talking.

If this sounds like a flame, I apologize a thousand times. It is not, I promise you.

Your idea is very original, and your characterization of Seth is VERY good, but you need to work a bit more on the mechanics of writing.
12/31/2011 c1 AaylaKit
Um...don't want to sound rude, seriously. I promise you. But please learn the difference between "we're" and "were".

Also, putting [I LIKE HER SO IN MY STORIES SHE'S ALIVE] is unnecessary. Since this is a crossover between Fablehaven and Star Wars, we know it can't happen in canon.

That's all I have to say for this chapter...really sorry if you feel like slapping me. I'm trying not to make this a flame, I promise.
10/24/2011 c5 1TheAngryPenguin
Great chapter can't wait to read what she saw and what happened to Seth. Keep it up and update soon.
10/1/2011 c4 TheAngryPenguin
Nice can't wait for chapter 5.
9/28/2011 c3 SUP
I'm back, this time GET A BETA

a beautiful field of flowers which is were my ship crashed.

WHERE my ship crashed.

"You'ill see."

YOU'LL see

"It was nice I think Aayla really enjoyed it." said Lena

"Yes I did enjoy it." said Lena " The fairies are beautiful."

It should not be Lena speaking, also PUNTUATION use it!

"Me and Seth were

It should be SETH AND I, if you can't figure out if it should be 'me' or 'I' then take out the other person in the sentence like this:

Me and Seth walked to the car - Me walked to the car

Seth and I walked to the car - I walked to the car

Kendra baked cookies for Seth and me - Kendra baked cookies for me

Kendra baked cookies for Seth and I - Kendra baked cookies for I

Now what sounds correct?
9/28/2011 c3 SUP
Okay I just realised that was a very bitchy review I'm gonna try and turn it down a bit sorry my bad!
9/28/2011 c3 SUP
"There Fairies." said Lena "They tend to the garden.

"There Beautiful." I said in awe.


I am going to ignore all your plotholes for the moment and other monstrosities within this story.


There means 'Andy and Alice go over THERE'

Their means 'Andy and Alice own a house it is THEIR house' They're means 'Where are Andy and Alice? THEY'RE by the pond'

But aside from that, its an interesting idea you came up with too bad you shoved it in a box and sent if off without even looking at it first.
8/1/2011 c2 TheAngryPenguin
I really like this story. I can't wait for you to finish it mabey you could have Seth convince Ayla to go with him to the forest and the run into some monsters or something. Hope this helps
7/30/2011 c2 dragon cath
Aww. Thanks! Anyway, like I said, I haven't found any mistakes and this is fantastic! UPDATE!

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