for Check Yes Juilet7/21/2011 c1 
5Zetsubouaichan
I love that song!
I wish you could make it to a proper sentences. I mean, instead of writing it like:
"There's one leaving in five minutes, ma'am, but the only seats left are first class." "Sweet!" Eriol exclaimed, making the lady give him a look and Tomoyo blush and smack her forehead.
You could write it like:
"There's one leaving in five minutes, ma'am, but the only seats left are first class."
"Sweet!" Eriol exclaimed, making the lady give him a look and Tomoyo blush and smack her forehead.
But, it's up to you. I just find that combining lots of dialogue in one paragraph a bit confusing. ^^
Keep up the good work!
5ZetsubouaichanI love that song!
I wish you could make it to a proper sentences. I mean, instead of writing it like:
"There's one leaving in five minutes, ma'am, but the only seats left are first class." "Sweet!" Eriol exclaimed, making the lady give him a look and Tomoyo blush and smack her forehead.
You could write it like:
"There's one leaving in five minutes, ma'am, but the only seats left are first class."
"Sweet!" Eriol exclaimed, making the lady give him a look and Tomoyo blush and smack her forehead.
But, it's up to you. I just find that combining lots of dialogue in one paragraph a bit confusing. ^^
Keep up the good work!