for Stolen Future9/1/2011 c5 WanderlustReader
Like how the story is going. i was wondering if Chloe has her healing powers in this story and if their going to be used. Update soon.
Like how the story is going. i was wondering if Chloe has her healing powers in this story and if their going to be used. Update soon.
8/20/2011 c4 
8prophet87
Wow - another amazing chapter! So much going on - the back stories of the heroes, the Chlollie, the fight. The fight scene in particular was really well written - I could picture every move, and it was very intense. Can't wait to read more of this, and especially the Kal-Ollie fight - how's this all going to end? Great work - I know how tough it can be producing a chapter of this length!
8prophet87Wow - another amazing chapter! So much going on - the back stories of the heroes, the Chlollie, the fight. The fight scene in particular was really well written - I could picture every move, and it was very intense. Can't wait to read more of this, and especially the Kal-Ollie fight - how's this all going to end? Great work - I know how tough it can be producing a chapter of this length!
8/20/2011 c4 3modscho
I really enjoyed that chapter and I think the fighting scene turned out pretty well - no need to feel insecure about it.
Maybe Ollie and Chloe are a bit rushed, since they didn't know eachother before she was sent to interview him, but being the romantic girl that I am I kinda like the immediate attraction between them both.
Can't wait for more!
Kudos for the length, I'd never be able to write so many words for one chapter! Wow!
3modschoI really enjoyed that chapter and I think the fighting scene turned out pretty well - no need to feel insecure about it.
Maybe Ollie and Chloe are a bit rushed, since they didn't know eachother before she was sent to interview him, but being the romantic girl that I am I kinda like the immediate attraction between them both.
Can't wait for more!
Kudos for the length, I'd never be able to write so many words for one chapter! Wow!
8/12/2011 c3 5Aida013
Really interesting concept and i am looking forward to the team trying to figure out how they are going to get outta there
5Aida013Really interesting concept and i am looking forward to the team trying to figure out how they are going to get outta there
8/11/2011 c3 8prophet87
Amazing chapter - I loved it! All of earth's future heroes kneeling before Zod - what a powerful scene, and really well written. This is such a great idea for a story, and you are telling it so well. I love the Ollie focus, and can't wait to read more - awesome work!
8prophet87Amazing chapter - I loved it! All of earth's future heroes kneeling before Zod - what a powerful scene, and really well written. This is such a great idea for a story, and you are telling it so well. I love the Ollie focus, and can't wait to read more - awesome work!
8/10/2011 c3 6CrimsonMercenary
Again, great chapter! Its good to see all the justice league characters (Bart is my favorite) and you do a good job keeping them in character. I do take back half my statement from the last review about the part with Tess being a bit useless...it connected with this chapter and that worked out well.
Something I'd love to figure out that maybe you'll go into more detail later on is what happened with Darkseid that led him to this Alternate Universe where he was able to help Zod capture all the heroes?
Anyway, great story I look forward to new chapters!
6CrimsonMercenaryAgain, great chapter! Its good to see all the justice league characters (Bart is my favorite) and you do a good job keeping them in character. I do take back half my statement from the last review about the part with Tess being a bit useless...it connected with this chapter and that worked out well.
Something I'd love to figure out that maybe you'll go into more detail later on is what happened with Darkseid that led him to this Alternate Universe where he was able to help Zod capture all the heroes?
Anyway, great story I look forward to new chapters!
8/10/2011 c2 CrimsonMercenary
This was a very fascinating chapter! You did a great job describing the planet Sedna and the storyline with Oliver and Chloe meeting and being captured really "captured" my attention quite well.
A couple things that at least right now seem like loose ends, though I'm sure you'll tie them in eventually...Incorporating Lionel and Tess...You did so well in giving details about Zod, Chloe, and Oliver that when you described the short scenes with Tess and Lionel it seemed (in my opinion) rather unimportant to the general story...I know it'll make sense later but it seemed kind of random in this moment. Not sure if that's something worth worrying about or even if it's worth taking out...but that's just my opinion!
I'm going to keep reading!
This was a very fascinating chapter! You did a great job describing the planet Sedna and the storyline with Oliver and Chloe meeting and being captured really "captured" my attention quite well.
A couple things that at least right now seem like loose ends, though I'm sure you'll tie them in eventually...Incorporating Lionel and Tess...You did so well in giving details about Zod, Chloe, and Oliver that when you described the short scenes with Tess and Lionel it seemed (in my opinion) rather unimportant to the general story...I know it'll make sense later but it seemed kind of random in this moment. Not sure if that's something worth worrying about or even if it's worth taking out...but that's just my opinion!
I'm going to keep reading!
8/10/2011 c1 CrimsonMercenary
Wow, what a cool story! Very original and I have to say the plot is very captivating. I also enjoy how you're tying together a bunch of villains that we see in an episode or two together, just in the prologue alone!
My only critique at the moment is I think at the end with your commentary, though you're trying to help us see the message you're portraying you may be limiting our imagination a bit. Let the readers come to these conclusions on their own, and if you feel like we can't, use more description or something. With that said, if you really like helping us out with picturing things then by all means go for it...this is your story afterall!
Anyway, I'm going to continue to read and probably drop a review on Chapter 1 too..
Wow, what a cool story! Very original and I have to say the plot is very captivating. I also enjoy how you're tying together a bunch of villains that we see in an episode or two together, just in the prologue alone!
My only critique at the moment is I think at the end with your commentary, though you're trying to help us see the message you're portraying you may be limiting our imagination a bit. Let the readers come to these conclusions on their own, and if you feel like we can't, use more description or something. With that said, if you really like helping us out with picturing things then by all means go for it...this is your story afterall!
Anyway, I'm going to continue to read and probably drop a review on Chapter 1 too..
8/3/2011 c2 8prophet87
This is great! I love the plot - really imaginative, and it's great how you are managing to draw in all the best villains. Glad to see the focus on Oliver and Chloe, and I hope that lots of action and angst lie ahead! The fact that English is not your first language makes this all the more remarkable - can't wait to read more!
8prophet87This is great! I love the plot - really imaginative, and it's great how you are managing to draw in all the best villains. Glad to see the focus on Oliver and Chloe, and I hope that lots of action and angst lie ahead! The fact that English is not your first language makes this all the more remarkable - can't wait to read more!
7/28/2011 c2 4TWDWarrior
great start. will chloe have her healing power in this. always liked it. ppms
4TWDWarriorgreat start. will chloe have her healing power in this. always liked it. ppms