for Illuminate My Shadow5/13/2012 c5 
2Io's Torment
Very interesting :). If you continue, I'd like to know why the giant butterfly gave Hayley wings...
2Io's TormentVery interesting :). If you continue, I'd like to know why the giant butterfly gave Hayley wings...
4/2/2012 c5 Alice Williams
I LOOOOVE IT! PLEASE UPDATE! She wings sounds like the wings Angle from X-men First Class had! Is that what you based it off of? If so then you are a GENIUS! I love her wings!
- Alice 3
I LOOOOVE IT! PLEASE UPDATE! She wings sounds like the wings Angle from X-men First Class had! Is that what you based it off of? If so then you are a GENIUS! I love her wings!
- Alice 3
4/2/2012 c5 Moongrave
I actually like this a lot!
Keep it coming!
I would have liked a little more on the meeting with Powers but I'm sure there is more to come!
I actually like this a lot!
Keep it coming!
I would have liked a little more on the meeting with Powers but I'm sure there is more to come!
4/1/2012 c5 2Mrs.Weasley122
15 comments ;)
How can you be so wonderful?
Can I have some of your writing talents? 3
I love this story, just don't make me wait again (:
2Mrs.Weasley12215 comments ;)
How can you be so wonderful?
Can I have some of your writing talents? 3
I love this story, just don't make me wait again (:
4/1/2012 c5 5Ash Colored Wings
Ahhhh! You updated :) good chapter! The only thing is, is that the main character (can't remember her name xP) seems a tad bipolar. I mean, I guess I can understand that she'd be stressed in the situation given, but to go from threatening to pack your bags and move out because you're so angry to crying from being so touched and thinking about how 'She never should have doubted her' all in the space of a minute, seems a bit extreme.
I'm not saying that your story is horrible or that you can't write for crap, so don't take this too hard. It's just something for you to think about next time you're writing, do your characters seem a bit less diva-queen-ish and more realistic (per say, a reaction you could easy see yourself having).
And also, wouldn't Princible Powers would have wanted to see that she even had a power? Not just a story that could be a lie, or a tattoo on her back? If I was the Principal of a Hero school, which's location was top secret and had very high security, I wouldn't just let anyone walk right in. Again, this is a situation where you'd have to put yourself into their footsteps.
Hey, if you don't feel like writing or it feels forced, don't write. Sure, everyone would like an update as soon as possible, but if you're not really feeling it, what makes you think we will? (that's just some overall advice - this chapter was pretty good but just seems a little rushed).
Again, i don't mean to come across acting like I'm better then you or know more, but when your writing something you may not see what would be obvious to others because you're just so into it. Take a step back and pretend your just the reader, not the writer.
Hope this all helps!
5Ash Colored WingsAhhhh! You updated :) good chapter! The only thing is, is that the main character (can't remember her name xP) seems a tad bipolar. I mean, I guess I can understand that she'd be stressed in the situation given, but to go from threatening to pack your bags and move out because you're so angry to crying from being so touched and thinking about how 'She never should have doubted her' all in the space of a minute, seems a bit extreme.
I'm not saying that your story is horrible or that you can't write for crap, so don't take this too hard. It's just something for you to think about next time you're writing, do your characters seem a bit less diva-queen-ish and more realistic (per say, a reaction you could easy see yourself having).
And also, wouldn't Princible Powers would have wanted to see that she even had a power? Not just a story that could be a lie, or a tattoo on her back? If I was the Principal of a Hero school, which's location was top secret and had very high security, I wouldn't just let anyone walk right in. Again, this is a situation where you'd have to put yourself into their footsteps.
Hey, if you don't feel like writing or it feels forced, don't write. Sure, everyone would like an update as soon as possible, but if you're not really feeling it, what makes you think we will? (that's just some overall advice - this chapter was pretty good but just seems a little rushed).
Again, i don't mean to come across acting like I'm better then you or know more, but when your writing something you may not see what would be obvious to others because you're just so into it. Take a step back and pretend your just the reader, not the writer.
Hope this all helps!
3/4/2012 c4 245VickyVicarious
I quite like this. Your OC is interesting, well-developed, and her power is intriguing. Please continue, I'm really interested to see where this story goes.
245VickyVicariousI quite like this. Your OC is interesting, well-developed, and her power is intriguing. Please continue, I'm really interested to see where this story goes.
10/27/2011 c1 1Rory-the-Sparta-Cat
Seems great so far, really original. Can't wait to see where you go with it!
1Rory-the-Sparta-CatSeems great so far, really original. Can't wait to see where you go with it!
10/7/2011 c3 twireadera
Yauh! Some freaking butterfly! Uh-huh, so will she fly away now?
Yauh! Some freaking butterfly! Uh-huh, so will she fly away now?
9/22/2011 c3 anani
I'd like to see where this goes please write more! :)
I'd like to see where this goes please write more! :)