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10/10/2005 c11 20FallenMystery
*nearly dies for luv of this fic*

FM
12/15/2003 c11 6Yuki Asao
oh wow that was so sweet. though i still think you should've really made Charlotte Hook's real daughter. that would have made it all the more interesting. great story! i hope you write more stories soon.
11/24/2003 c11 lulu bell
I LOVE NORAH JONES AND HER SONG DON'T KNOW WHY! really liked the chapter! gald her mother came back! and that they wre reunited! loved the humor. this was great! favorite chapter- this one! it's really good! hey, sorry i'm about 4 months late from the review, but i waited forever, and thought you took it down, really glad you didn't!

YAY! a POTC ifc! have to see the other sotires you've written!
11/24/2003 c10 lulu bell
aw, so sad, what happened to their mothers. *tear tear* great job, loved the long chapters!
11/24/2003 c8 lulu bell
see that you've updated, but i'm a little late, so rereading it. great job so far! liked the part of flames will be given to satan as a present.
7/27/2003 c11 3Blueberrie
how sweet.

I'll be reading your Pirates of the caribbean fic if you've started it.

see ya

Blueberrie
7/23/2003 c11 Faith Trust and Pixie D
Great ending! I can't wait to read your POC fic.
6/14/2003 c10 Faith Trust and Pixie D
I love this story. Great idea with hook's daughter and everything. Update soon. Good luck writing
4/2/2003 c9 lulu bell
Great chapter! Are you planning on updating or is this story just going to be taken down or just left this way?i really like it and hope you will update and soon please.

LULU BELL :-D
4/2/2003 c9 lulu bell
Great chapter! Are you planning on updating or is this story just going to be taken down or just left this way?i really like it and hope you will update and soon please.

LULU BELL :-D
4/2/2003 c9 lulu bell
Great chapter! Are you planning on updating or is this story just going to be taken down or just left this way?i really like it and hope you will update and soon please.

LULU BELL :-D
4/2/2003 c9 lulu bell
Great chapter! Are you planning on updating or is this story just going to be taken down or just left this way?i really like it and hope you will update and soon please.

LULU BELL :-D
10/13/2002 c1 Kit
This fic has great potential for being something excellent *if* you put more detail in it. I really don't want to read past the first chapter because its, well, bland. Writing in first person is extremely difficult for authors with a lot of experience, and some of the things you said sounded rather awkward. Describing a persons appearance really isn't all that important, compared to describing the environment surrounding the characters. You have talent for the description of things in general. Try something like this: Lily Marie Johnson stared up at the night sky, the shining stars blurred by the tears clouding her wide brown eyes. Get it? Something like that will draw in your readers. Your second chapter isn't a chapter, its a paragraph. Try to write a page or two before posting. And always *always* seperate dialogue from paragraphs! If she couldn't fly, how did she get to Neverland? And what does it matter if she couldn't stop if she couldn't fly. Descirbe what she had trouble with when flying. Describe what happened when she tried to stop: She tried to stop, but only succeeded in twirling herself around, nearly flying out of control into a bird, which squawked and defecated on her head in fright. I'm not even gonna start of the thrid chapter. I'll leave it at this, and I don't mean to sound mean or horrible, I'm just trying to show you how to improve your writing. I know I can come off as mean and hateful and saying horrible things but: It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer is what it says on the bottom of the review box. I'm not criticizing, I'm critiquing. I Know I wanna learn how to write better,a dn i figure you do too.
10/6/2002 c2 3BlueJewel
Good so far except this chapter should definitely be longer! On to the next chapter...
9/29/2002 c2 16evilteddybear408
Lilo: It's okay, guys, really. We're not to terribly upset about th Josie/Teri issue.

Stitch: FOR GOD'S SAKE PPLZ! STOP TURNING THE WHOLE DARN REVIEW PAGE INTO REVEIW WAR!

Lilo: And to answer Teri's question: We did feel kinda bad about all of the "constructive critisim"

that Josephine Sawyer gave us.

Stitch: Yeah, I mean, it was REALLY fun posting this story, but...

L: You can't believe how long it took us to come up with this.

S: Charlotte took the longest. And, we SWEAR TO GOD that the ending WILL be weird and different.

L: How 'bout we write the next chapter now, Stitch?

S: OKAY!

L&S: Thax 2 everyone for revewing our story!

And, we apologize to Teri about the imposter reveiw(even if the DID say the story was good...)

Thanks again!

ALOHA!
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