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9/4/2011 c8 IchigoMxHarryP
Update soon please! This is slightly creepy but good.
9/3/2011 c5 3TheOwlWBU
There's a glaring lack of consistency in this chapter so far. He mentioned that every living thing he touched dies back in Chapter One. That was the part of the "game of wits" that allowed Pinwheel to rise from the dead.

Now, if I can remember this, why can't she? In Chapter Two, she was rolling it all through her head constantly, and was shown to remember one of the other pony's smile. Why is she going insane that he "didn't mention it" now? Why doesn't he make a little snarky comment about the fact that he DID mention it?
8/29/2011 c8 DoctorWhooves
she will be looking for her body around ponyville while its in canterlot huh, and pale hoof wont be bale to restore her since shes already here?
8/28/2011 c8 Comrade
Good god I haven't read a fantastic fic like this in a while! Update soon and keep up the work!
8/28/2011 c8 ces99
I LOVELOVELOVE this story so much! Im really intrigued by Pale Hoof/Death, he is officially my favorite OC(kinda..) EVER :D
8/28/2011 c8 Jjvalour
"she was banished without remorse" That's pushing it I think.

Celestia pleaded with Luna first, and Celestia was crying when Luna finally came back, those events are both canon.

Plus, Faust has indicated that something else was responsible for Luna's behavior/actions a thousand years ago.

The first part was good; nice black humor, although I think Death is still just a bit TOO oblivious.

Second part wasn't really interesting, it felt slow, tepid. I think you could have dropped it or shortened it up considerably. But maybe it dropped info for later . . .
8/25/2011 c6 1Draco Dei
Where did he get the skeletons from? Because if they came from the Ponyville cemetery, then I would THINK it would be unlikely that there would be more than one stinker in the pile. Not a high enough population for that sort of turn-over (at least not any month an Ursa Minor DOESN'T come crashing through town). If it is just sorta a "He is Death, the skeletons ALWAYS reek of decay" then that is fine, but I though I would mention it.

"Pale Hoof stared sightlessly at the party guests."

Try "stared with empty sockets" or something... he can SEE just fine.
8/25/2011 c7 Mikhail
Whaaaaaaaaaat.

I have to hand it to you. Up until the point where Death went on a date with Pinwheel's dead body, I was really falling for them as a couple. Comparing Pinwheel's relationship to Death like Twilight's to Celestia's pretty much sealed it for me. It became almost romantic-like.

Then, what the hell. Amazing plot twist.

You have a talent for writing. A huge talent.

And Pinwheel seeing her deceased friends again? Very cute too. And hope for Pinwheel coming back to life as well. I hope this isn't the last chapter. There's so much more to explore here.

Good job!
8/25/2011 c5 Mikhail
This chapter was gooooood. I didn't expect to become so hypnotized by the writing in this chapter. Things suddenly became a bit funny and lighthearted, even a tad bit romantic and dream-like. I didn't think a date with death was going to be an interesting story, but it surprised me. It's not as quirky and slapstick as I thought it would be, and it's fairly in character for the two, while maintaining that grimdark attitude to keep us on our toes. Very nice.
8/25/2011 c1 Mikhail
What a fantastic story. I usually don't comment either, but I had to. I read just the first chapter, and immediately I'm hooked. The ponies add a wonderfully lovely cutesy touch to an otherwise grimdark story. And to think, there's more to come. I can't wait to see what happens next.
8/25/2011 c7 why am i not doing matlab
this is the funniest fic since progress. It made me laugh out loud maaaany times.
8/25/2011 c7 A Nony Moose
Re: Ch7

...wow. From quirky to horrible in ten sentences flat.
8/25/2011 c3 Draco Dei
"FOOLISH." Death boomed.

-Consider:

"FOALISH." Death boomed.

It is a silly pun, but if it is good enough for Nightmare Moon, then maybe it is good enough for Death. Then again, maybe not. This IS a "darker and edgier" work. On the third hoof, perhaps the judicious juxtaposition of such things throws the dark elements into sharper relief.

"Quick. Don't think, just answer. What is the coolest thing to do in Ponyville?"

"Gosh, Pin. I dunno. I mean, there's the library. And Sugarcube Corner. Those are fun. And I hear the Apple family's giving hayrides on their farm."

-Unfortunately, the library never seems very popular in the series. Perhaps this is merely "conservation of detail", but given the amount of work that goes into background characters I am not so sure.
8/25/2011 c7 3Obscureish
A very nice story. Faithful to the source material, I think. And it's a good interpretation of Death.
8/25/2011 c7 DoctorWhooves
wow ,instant favorite for the original shipping pairing :D

but ouch at the latest chapter and what death did, hope they find her body before he does something nasty to it lol
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