Just In
for The First Morning

11/5/2012 c1 8DDAriSieg
Amazingly picture you paint here, and oh, THE FEELS xD

I really like it :)
10/5/2012 c1 thehazeleyedloser
I don’t know if it’s me and my Weasley love, but this piece just totally screamed BillCharliePercyFredGeorgeRo nGinny out to me. It was sad.
9/24/2012 c1 3Pink-Pencil-Girl303
That was beautiful! It had a deep rhythm coursing throughout that almost longed for melody. Very well done.
2/9/2012 c1 4Emily Mae
Great drabble! The contrast between the bright, beautiful, powerful sunrise and the destruction of death is really perfect here and it quite reminds me of how I felt reading those last few chapters of Deathly Hallows. "Yay, it's over, we won...but at what cost?" Everyone was tired and there was too much sadness to be properly happy and you really conveyed all of that here. Nicely done!
11/21/2011 c1 7Ekanite
So much power in so few words. Beautiful.

I particularly like the second paragraph. "forced into existence"-yes, because before nobody wanted to think about it, nobody wanted to acknowledge the dead. and the "anonymous" pieces of flesh...chilling, absolutely chilling.

I love the ambiguity of the perspective as well.

Thought-provoking, sad and dark, absolutely lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Also-you've inspired me with your policy to review every story. I'm going to do my best to follow your example!
8/27/2011 c1 94Thanatos Angelos Girl
This was fantastic story and I love how you wrote this. I love how you did this and it shows a stunning moment after the Hogwarts battle.
8/22/2011 c1 39Gitana del Sol
this. was. PERFECT. there is nothing more i can say on a general note. since i love this so much, i will go to a line-by-line commentary.

Morning broke.

The sun...forced into existence the blood and rubble and bits of broken bodies." - i love this, the "forced into existence" part so taht you know that the night before people were taking refuge in the dark, of not having to face the bodies and ruins that they will have to clean up. wonderful

"Fragments of bone, matted locks of hair, anonymous pieces of flesh, hidden under broken walls, or left in the open to congeal and stain the ragged stones." CHILLING description! if i can make my descriptions nearly so good i would be very happy!

"Hogwarts stank. Death was rancid, like a mouse found two weeks after the trap broke its neck." how BRILLIANT is this? the contrast between Hogwarts which became our home and revered sanctuary throughout the books compared with something as revolting as a dead mouse. i thinki would have liked "snapped" as the description for the mouse's neck, to give more of a connection with "stank", and keep the flow of letter sounds.

"Morning broke, like a glass shattering in your hand or the floor falling out from under you, and you realized that it was real." - wonderful simile! i think it would have been sharper with just the comparison to gladd breaking in your hand because i thik it's too long to let readers stop and think "oh shit". also, i think glass shattering gives a much more vivid description of the FEELING and more readers can actually connect to it. but i still really like it.

"Somehow, this didn't feel like victory." - perfect, such heart-wrenching way to end.
8/19/2011 c1 14nigerutmea anima
Wow...I never quite know the correct words to describe your writing. You choose your words so well that everything always flows into a deeper meaning, and it amazes me how you can write something this beautiful, with this much meaning, in 100 words. Fabulous job!
8/19/2011 c1 55Xx starlight-moon xX
I don't know if you meant it to, but this actually does reflect Lizzie's writing style quite well - the imagery is quite graphic, and the way that you confront the not-so-nice side of the battle - the grime and the rot and unromantic side of it all - is very in keeping with her fics. It's not just the quote!

But my favourite line is this :

"Morning broke, like a glass shattering in your hand or the floor falling out from under you, and you realized that it was real. It was over. You had won."

I love the way you play off a common saying, one we never really think about, to create this image that so perfectly encapsulates the violence required to create this new dawn. It's brilliant.

Great work! :)
8/19/2011 c1 30BellaPur
Haunting, Errie.
8/18/2011 c1 28xoxLewrahxox
Wow! The description you have used here is so vivid. It is clear that after the battle that Hogwarts to those who fought in the battle was a place what they would associate with an aftermath that's so shocking and repulsive.

I loved the last line: "somehow it didn't feel like a victory." as it shows this idea that those fighting on the light side did lose people, had many casualities, caused a lot of sorrow and the memories from the battle would stay with them for life.

This is really nicely done! Great drabble!

-Sarah :)
8/18/2011 c1 300Inkfire

This was just... eerie. Your words were so dark and vivid and powerful and... wow. I'm speechless. Incredible stuff, I'll just shut up and favourite this and let you know that I worship you right now ^^
8/18/2011 c1 crissu
This was beautiful. Creepy but beautiful. You described in a few words a grotesque image of the magical castle ..."matted locks of hair, anonymous pieces of flesh"...

I loved "Morning broke, like a glass shattering in your hand" because it's like everything is suddenly vivid, more real with the light and I could almost see the destruction and feel the pain.
8/17/2011 c1 57FlashFiction
It had a very eerie feeling to it! Very poetic and really well written :)

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