for 1000 Blades7/27/2012 c1 
1Memory-Drop Spice
This is great. Fantastic. You clearly understand the anime very well, although reading some of your later peices I think you've changed some views. A few things I would critique are that you should try not to use numbers, but rather write them out; also, you stated Anthy's thoughts a little too clearly for my taste... I find it better to imply her feelings toward Utena; the prayer to Dios: I wouldn't have put it in. It's shown throughout the series that it isn't required to summon the sword, and it would have felt more like the anime to leave the prayer for the duels. Anthy would recognize it as part of the illusion. But other than that, there are just some words I would have changed, a few grammar issues... Contact me if you'd like a beta. HP and Utena are what I do best.
Memory-Drop Spice
1Memory-Drop SpiceThis is great. Fantastic. You clearly understand the anime very well, although reading some of your later peices I think you've changed some views. A few things I would critique are that you should try not to use numbers, but rather write them out; also, you stated Anthy's thoughts a little too clearly for my taste... I find it better to imply her feelings toward Utena; the prayer to Dios: I wouldn't have put it in. It's shown throughout the series that it isn't required to summon the sword, and it would have felt more like the anime to leave the prayer for the duels. Anthy would recognize it as part of the illusion. But other than that, there are just some words I would have changed, a few grammar issues... Contact me if you'd like a beta. HP and Utena are what I do best.
Memory-Drop Spice
8/22/2011 c1 73akmdreamer
Wo-o-o-w...I don't understand all of it, but I get the general idea. Great descriptions and analogies...At one point, though, it says: "She let took off her night cap...", so be careful of tiny grammar mistakes. :) Hate when those things happen. Anyway, great! YOU NEED TO POST YOUR OTHER STUFF! Li-i-ike...the "Dumbledore gets drunk" story...the Luna/Nev song fic... :)
See you at 6:00 tonight!
Love,
Ginny
73akmdreamerWo-o-o-w...I don't understand all of it, but I get the general idea. Great descriptions and analogies...At one point, though, it says: "She let took off her night cap...", so be careful of tiny grammar mistakes. :) Hate when those things happen. Anyway, great! YOU NEED TO POST YOUR OTHER STUFF! Li-i-ike...the "Dumbledore gets drunk" story...the Luna/Nev song fic... :)
See you at 6:00 tonight!
Love,
Ginny