for Under Suspicion10/28/2011 c3 
3RoxasConan
Nice! You should post soon . I wrote a DC fanfic as well if ya wanna check it out.
Keep of the good work!
3RoxasConanNice! You should post soon . I wrote a DC fanfic as well if ya wanna check it out.
Keep of the good work!
10/28/2011 c3 17AppleCider1412
cheep,cheasy,wrong, and just plain wrong. you made her forget! THATS HORRABLE! DAMN NEAR IMPOSSABLE! ugh, just keep writing but forget i ever read it. i'm gonna stop.
17AppleCider1412cheep,cheasy,wrong, and just plain wrong. you made her forget! THATS HORRABLE! DAMN NEAR IMPOSSABLE! ugh, just keep writing but forget i ever read it. i'm gonna stop.
9/2/2011 c2 7Mysteryfan17
Intriguing. I can't wait to see where you go with this. Do they let Ran in or does Ai go ahead and give her the pill? Conan/Shinichi won't be very happy with either and I think he'd prefer her knowing over knowing he wiped her memory when she came to save him. Please continue.
7Mysteryfan17Intriguing. I can't wait to see where you go with this. Do they let Ran in or does Ai go ahead and give her the pill? Conan/Shinichi won't be very happy with either and I think he'd prefer her knowing over knowing he wiped her memory when she came to save him. Please continue.
8/29/2011 c2 reveiwer
Okay, what?
First, chlorophyll is the green pigment that assists the process of photosynthesis in plants. The word you are looking for is chloroform.
Second, Ran, listening to a KIDNAPPER'S diatribe, just steps out of hiding and get's mad at CONAN? What kind of sense does that make? And instead of subduing the would-be rescuer, he just stands there and tells her who he thinks Conan is. That's ridiculous.
Then, in a total Dues Ex Machina, Conan is suddenly rescued by Ai, who takes down the bad guy, while apparently Ran just stands there, and who also just happens to have a memory wiping device.
Could you make this any more unbelievable? I was hoping for the beginnings of a really good story, and instead I'm sorry I wasted my time.
Okay, what?
First, chlorophyll is the green pigment that assists the process of photosynthesis in plants. The word you are looking for is chloroform.
Second, Ran, listening to a KIDNAPPER'S diatribe, just steps out of hiding and get's mad at CONAN? What kind of sense does that make? And instead of subduing the would-be rescuer, he just stands there and tells her who he thinks Conan is. That's ridiculous.
Then, in a total Dues Ex Machina, Conan is suddenly rescued by Ai, who takes down the bad guy, while apparently Ran just stands there, and who also just happens to have a memory wiping device.
Could you make this any more unbelievable? I was hoping for the beginnings of a really good story, and instead I'm sorry I wasted my time.
8/26/2011 c2 22CoolKid94
A good story so far. It seems to be leading to something big. Be sure to get it there! Good work!
22CoolKid94A good story so far. It seems to be leading to something big. Be sure to get it there! Good work!
8/26/2011 c2 Ayumi Kudou
This can't be good.
This can't be good.
8/25/2011 c2 nobody10901
This is interesting... I like it. However, it's a little too fast-paced for me. The big paragraphs should probably be separated more and it was rushed. Is seemed all cramped together. You might want to get some more detail in rare and describe more things such as the criminal ad his motives and Ran's emotions as she listens. And... Ai coning out of nowhere was... Well, you might want to lead up to that. Maybe have a few details leading to that and possible Conan notices her. Oh, and where exactly are they? What's their location? I apologize if I seem harsh. I'm only trying to help with constructive criticism.
I would suggest getting a beta-reader. If you need one, I can help. :D
Good job overall. Waiting for more! UPDATE SOON! Thanks!
This is interesting... I like it. However, it's a little too fast-paced for me. The big paragraphs should probably be separated more and it was rushed. Is seemed all cramped together. You might want to get some more detail in rare and describe more things such as the criminal ad his motives and Ran's emotions as she listens. And... Ai coning out of nowhere was... Well, you might want to lead up to that. Maybe have a few details leading to that and possible Conan notices her. Oh, and where exactly are they? What's their location? I apologize if I seem harsh. I'm only trying to help with constructive criticism.
I would suggest getting a beta-reader. If you need one, I can help. :D
Good job overall. Waiting for more! UPDATE SOON! Thanks!
8/23/2011 c1 nobody10901
Wow! :D Interesting! I love kidnapping stories. XD Yes, I'm weird. Great job so far! I can't wait to see what will happen! Is this character an OC you made up? Good detail too! I hope to see a lot of evil things happen to Conan... :P UPDATE SOON! Thanks!
Wow! :D Interesting! I love kidnapping stories. XD Yes, I'm weird. Great job so far! I can't wait to see what will happen! Is this character an OC you made up? Good detail too! I hope to see a lot of evil things happen to Conan... :P UPDATE SOON! Thanks!
8/23/2011 c1 inu
Nice start. I'm all curious now. xD
I found the chapter a little bit too short, but that really doesn't matter. Just keep writing and updating!
Nice start. I'm all curious now. xD
I found the chapter a little bit too short, but that really doesn't matter. Just keep writing and updating!
8/23/2011 c1 Ayumi Kudou
GO RAN! KICK THAT JERK'S ASS!
GO RAN! KICK THAT JERK'S ASS!