Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Ayumi Takes the Lead

9/11/2019 c1 12Tobina
Sooo, after I've read this story for the... I don't really know... 11th? 12th? time, I can still say that I like it very much and it is saved as one of my favorites for a reason. Also, I'm always up for a good Shinichi-in-trouble story.

At first, the centered format was a bit confusing, but I got used to it while reading, though I would recommend not to center the text for longer fics, but that is just my opinion.

Back to the story: I love how Shinichi and Ayumi interact in this one. Ayumi is a little bit shy around the famous teen but still confident enough and a true friend. The bad guys cleary never heard of the detective boys or they wouldn't have unterestimated her that badly. "Just a girl that can't cause any trouble..." riiiight XD XD

I'm not sure how much of the show you had seen when you wrote this, but didn't the kids know about the spare glasses at Hakase's?

It's a bit ironic that Shinichi is just back in his own body and right away he gets another blow to head, just like how all the Conan stuff began. Poor boy's head is suffering a lot.

Would love to see how Ran walks in while Shinichi takes the antidote. How did that happen?

Kids are so less skeptic than adults, so its not surprising that Ayumi believes him right away that he was Conan.

I like how you show hos the concussion makes his thoughts slower and how he struggles to keep alert. Like how he is puzzled what Ayumi put under his head.

Heiji! I love the bond between him and Shinichi, they are great bros. That he didn't slip up again when Ayumi said that Conan needs help, especially when he is so tense, was unexpected. Normally, he wouldn't even notice the different name and just ask what happened to 'Kudou' XD. Quick thinking here, Heiji. And good job on giving Ayumi an important task and keeping her away from the immediate danger at the same time.

And one aspect of the japanese language I love comes into play. The honorifics. They are such a great way to show how close two persons are to each other or what kind of relationship they have. So cute that Ayumi gets to call him Niichan :)

Again, this is a wonderful story and I certainly will be back to read it again another time.

Take care!
Tobina
11/11/2013 c1 Guest
Hello there,
I sincerely wanted to privately message you, but alas, I realized that feature is only available for users of this site that are registered. However, I can leave you a review and place my thoughts here.
As both an avid mystery writer and reader, I am thoroughly pleased with both your writing skills and your grasp of the English language. It has long been called the most difficult to learn, and for good reason. There are many nuances inherent therein, whether through spelling, turn of phrase, dialogue, etc., that can cause even the most well-versed person to stumble. You, however, have surpassed every obstacle with flying colors.
May I humbly suggest that you consider writing a career choice, or, at the very least, something to be studied further in college? (I am assuming that you are younger than me!) There are a great many wonderful mystery authors out there to devour as well; one that comes directly to mind is Ms. Agatha Christie, a personal favorite of mine. I've long cherished her books. I would also recommend Mary Higgins Clark.
Once again, you've done a marvelous job tying all loose ends together in a neat, coherent package that is easy to follow, easy to understand, and above all, an utter joy to read: the last of which something that I find seems to be lacking in much of today's modern literature. I do hope that you continue to write to your heart's content. Much respect,
Mrs. E.P.
10/23/2012 c1 ThreeKittiesDancing
Good job on this story! I don't think I've ever come across an Ayumi/Shinichi story yet. I love how you handled their dicey situation, and showed how much Ayumi had grown and matured since spending so much time with Conan. You handled the scene where Shinichi told her the truth very well, I thought. After all they'd been through together, I think it would be kindest for the Detective Boys to learn the truth about Conan, so they don't spend the rest of their lives wondering why he just left them and never contacted them again.

I just love Conan or Shinichi-in-danger stories, I don't know why, but I do. Maybe because he's so great at everything (except singing), so it's nice to see him actually need somebody in the worst way sometimes. I love how Heiji will do anything to help his pal Kudo, even after he's returned to normal! Whether Conan/Shinichi wanted it or not, he's developed a life-long friend in Heiji. Anyway, great job on this story, and I hope you'll continue to write more DC goodies!
6/10/2012 c1 kairi loves sora
this is really good. it is cool to see what would happen in this type of situation. poor shinichi is always getting hit. he really needs to invest in a helment or maybe he can borrow one from hattori. anyway cool story. thanks and see ya
2/29/2012 c1 6Amazing Bluie
I really loved this story! Excellent way to reveal the truth to Ayumi, I really enjoyed how that went! It was very satisfying! And I totally understood about Ran's conversation about Conan earlier, as well as what it means to "have been made." Fantastic story!

I'm kind of new to everything Detective Conan, but I've quickly become a major fan. So far, I'd have to say LostInTheDreams is my favorite fanfic writer for it. It's pretty cool that you two know each other, and I just got to your profile by reading Manipulation. I probably need to review that, don't I? I am definitely enjoying it. I actually hate reviewing, so take this as a compliment! ;-)
11/19/2011 c1 6Athina Dark-Angel of Death
enjoyable
9/29/2011 c1 109purpledragon6
Wicked.
9/16/2011 c1 Antiyonder
Overall a well written story. Not to mention that it provides us with the rarely explored scenario of the Detective Boys or at least one of them being told the truth regarding Conan.

Plus, I myself often wondered whether Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta would address in a formal or casual manner since he was among them as a kid.
9/7/2011 c1 Mystery Fan
I love a kidnap Shinichi fanfic I prefer Shinichi being kidnap as a teenager, not as Conan. I LOVE Ayumi too! My favorite part was when Shinichi tells Ayumi that he and Conan are the same people. The Heiji come to the rescue as well. Ayumi is going to a good detective like Shinichi and Heiji. I loved idea of Ayumi, Shinichi and Heiji together. You should try a Shinichi and Kazuha friendship fic, I think that will be a good one.
9/7/2011 c1 36EsTeLweNadia
Woohoo! I am practically whooping for joy! Because it is a...

Hurt!Shinichi fic! ^^

I don't know why, but I just love it so much when my fave characters got hurt. Don't care how bad, how serious as long as they're not dead! Wahahahaha! And there isn't much Hurt!Shinichi fic around, so thank you! ^^

Ehem, that aside, I also love it the way Shinichi told Ayumi that he and Conan are the one and only. And Heiji rushing to the rescue... simply awesome! ^^

Awesome job well done! ^^
9/2/2011 c1 muses-pet22
HA! You DID write an angsty fic! XD

Very good. Intriguing, entertaining, and sweet. :)
9/1/2011 c1 Ayumi Kudou
I LOVE THIS FANFIC! I love the relationship between Shinichi and Ayumi, then Heiji and Ayumi's rescue. Good story.
8/28/2011 c1 22CoolKid94
Great story. You did a good job with it. I've always wondered how Ayumi would act when she figured out Conan's identity. Keep it up!
8/28/2011 c1 nobody10901
Wow... Amazing. I usually don't like ones with Ayumi, but this was GREAT! Awesome job. The detail was incredible.

YOU KNOW LOSTINTHEDREAMS IN REAL LIFE? :O WOW!

Thanks for writing! :D I really enjoyed this. Thanks!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service