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6/15/2012 c1 30Emerald Falcon
I thought that since you decided to grace my story with a review I would do that same with yours and express the proper way to leave one. Your poem shows a lot of promise however it is very rough. Capitalizing the beginning of each line is unnecessary and grammatically incorrect. Also when placing punctuation into a poem it is important to do so carefully. Jabbing and placing them in random places only makes it look childish and unrefined. Perhaps you should try reading the poem out loud and when you feel yourself pausing naturally that is where you should place a comma or period. Poetry is a form of sentence writing just in a unique format. Also I would like to point out that I like your idea and theory behind the poem, it shows you can place a lot of emotional pull within a poem. This was worth the read and I hope you take my advice in fixing it appropriately.

Have a Wonderful Day,

Emerald Falcon
9/19/2011 c2 7Lunas' Fallen Angel
dont whatever you do guys try to convert her

~holds up knife~

I've got a knife and I'm not afraid to use it!
9/15/2011 c1 Lunas' Fallen Angel
dark side!dark side!

my opinoion it's the best!

For the light side and cookies t he darkside has yaoi

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