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9/5/2011 c1 29SolarumNyx
Heyyyy! I finally got around to checking out your profile! This was a pretty great fic so far, with only minor grammar issues, as the above reviewer touched upon. It has really great potential, and I really like the plot line so far! The only thing that bothers me is Poland's accent, but that's understandable. As a Californian, I can tell you exactly how each sentence would be said in Poland's accent - I just can't exactly explain it. ^_^;; You plan on continuing this, yes? Because if you don't, Lithuania will become depressed.

If you want some tips on Poland's accent - Usually, like, we pause before adding a "like" in our sentence, so commas are usually there before and after it.

"Totally" and "like" are not the only words my friends (and to my dismay, me) use excessively. "Anyways," "you know," and "right?" are also repeated commonly.

PM if you want to know more-

~Love, Nyx
9/5/2011 c1 3bookwormtiff

LithuaniaBelarus? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Yus, I thought you HATED her; I never thought you'd write it! :D

Nice thinking, basing it on a Vocaloid song, but is it going to end happily ever after?

Anyway, I tend to feel a little sorry for Belarus, but in this case she's nice and psychotic, as usual. Have no idea how Lithuania and Belarus are meant to be compatible (yech, remember in canon when he invited her for a date and she broke all his fingers?) D:

Heheh, it's quite good so far! I want to know what happens; it's actually pretty intriguing, plot-wise. I want to see how the relation with the Vocaloid song plays out. And hurray for Poland for not giving in under torture (oh yes and nice characterization by the way; Poland's speech was on the spot, and Belarus's and Russia's creepiness is absolutely perfect.)

Only quibbles are the grammar and tense; firstly, I've noticed that you sometimes switch between tenses. It has only occurred a few times, but watch out! Also, be careful when dealing with the speech-markers-whatever-you-call-them ("") because you're generally meant to only put commas at the end of a spoken sentence, not full stops (but there are exceptions).

How's this for a review/critique? ;)

UPDATE SOON- and thanks for writing! 8D


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