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8/6/2013 c1 SnowCat21
i love how you portrayed Gaara and gave him a sweet ending
10/8/2012 c1 12Crystalzap
very nice :D
7/21/2012 c1 Guest
Hi there. It's angelbebop8 from deviantart. I was happy to find out I could add a comment without signing up. This is a very nice story and happy my picture could be used with this story. I sent this to a few people to read. I hope they can give a few comments as well. Goodluck on future projects and keep up the good work.
2/11/2012 c1 Guest
Nice story. I like Gaara trying to learn a bit more about feelings and I like Naruto's frankness. An interesting question has been raised about loving ang hating someone at the same time. And Naruto answered it simply and clearly - nothing less expected of him :)

My favorite line was: "Naruto was not like Shukaku at all. He was stronger."
11/16/2011 c1 4chocovic-chu
so canon! and that kind of situation is happened in anime! eah, sorta...

what else can vic say instead of loving this story?

ah, yes, write more!
9/19/2011 c1 7Mod Soul
Nice work. =)

As it already been said, you kept them well in character.

I liked how you described the different (non) visitors and how the boys reacted towards each other.

In it's shortness it is well phrased and more or less straight to the point. Well done. =)

Though as one or the other thing bugged me, some stuff I noticed:

"as the pink haired girl entered, stayed, and then left Naruto's room." Shouldn't it be "stayed in"?

"he walked towords the room" Guess you meant "towards", didn't you?

"Gaara raised an hand and sent his sand eye under the door." As far as I know "an" is only in front of a vowel. Besides "sending it under the door" sounds kinda odd to me...I somewhat imagine the eye to get stuck between door and floor and I think that's not what you intended. XD

"He watched as a large white haired man crouched on the windowsill in Naruto's room." Well, by now we know that he's watching Naruto's room =/

But you kind of like repetition in this one, as nearly every paragraph starts with "Gaara". Personally I would reformulate the sentences so they wouldn't have the same beginning every time. Still repeated beginnings are also a figure of speech and it's your artistic freedom to us it as you please.

"Gaara waited until the room was quiet, hoping maybe he would be interpreted again so he didn't have to go in, but no one else came." Two things here: Guess you mean "interrupted"? And he's having his eye in there, why would he have to wait till it's quiet?

"Gaara stared at him, unsure of himself." Again something that reminds me of my own story. XD But I guess underneath all the sand Gaara's just a pretty shy and insecure boy. ;)

"it became apparent to Naruto that Gaara was actually slightly smaller in size then he. " Isn't it "him"?

""I. . ." Gaara looked at the point of wall behind Naruto's head; having never met a human that he felt so powerless against. It was frighting; which was another similarity between Naruto and the One Tailed."

I think "a(n imagined) point on the wall" and "One Tail" or "One Tailed Beast" would work better.

"replacing the gourd of sand onto his shoulders - Looking less like one might sheath a weapon, and more like a tied prisoner, confined to fate."

This sounds confusing to me...I think I know what you mean, but the sentence as it doesn't really make sense...

Am I right in assuming that you mean: He placed the gourd on his back again and it didn't look like someone tightening his weapon and more like a prisoner being tied (to his fate)?

"Love them also" "Love them at the same time"?

"Even if it were just very small?" "just a bit"?

"sparking" "sparkling"?

"Shukaku was ticked." I don't get this one o.O

If anything up there doesn't make sense: Just ignore it. ;)
9/18/2011 c1 8Mommy Bear
I like Gaara's trust in Naruto, even though he doesn't realize it. He trusts Naruto enought to know he will answer the question he asks. You have captured Garra's personality well and also Naruto's. I also like Gaara not looking at Naruto, but at the wall behind him, maybe feeling not equal to Naruto and a respect for him. Very well done. Keep the stories coming.
9/13/2011 c1 5Battenburg507
:) bless. That was a very true-to-character little fic! Gaara trying to understand friendship and such nearly always makes for adorable stories ^-^ well done! x
9/13/2011 c1 TigrezzTail
Beautiful, and you definitely pegged Naruto well there!

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