for Uzumaki2/15/2012 c1 
56BajaB
You know, I really like the ideas and scenes you have here. I especially love Naruto's "I see you, Brother." Well done.
56BajaBYou know, I really like the ideas and scenes you have here. I especially love Naruto's "I see you, Brother." Well done.
10/19/2011 c1 kzinti7
wow, this is the first time i read a story with Haishi as a Jounin Sensei. bravo
wow, this is the first time i read a story with Haishi as a Jounin Sensei. bravo
9/26/2011 c1 1Burn Note
a mgood story, BUT: Your spelling is atrocious. Seriously, it's Hiashi, not Haishi. I think you misspelled more names than the ones you spelled correctly. A little editing would be very usefull. It wouldn't even be very timeconsuming.
1Burn Notea mgood story, BUT: Your spelling is atrocious. Seriously, it's Hiashi, not Haishi. I think you misspelled more names than the ones you spelled correctly. A little editing would be very usefull. It wouldn't even be very timeconsuming.
9/24/2011 c1 SmacksKiller
While the story itself is pretty good, you really need a beta. There were way to many misspellings and caps that had no reason to be were they were.
While the story itself is pretty good, you really need a beta. There were way to many misspellings and caps that had no reason to be were they were.
9/24/2011 c1 5Garm88
You should have had a beta go over this before posting it, there are so many spelling errors its almost sad.
5Garm88You should have had a beta go over this before posting it, there are so many spelling errors its almost sad.
9/23/2011 c1 jimk
Okay, never mind. I liked it with no qualifications! I just went to read your short story file and saw the original version of this where you included an AN that explained things.
Okay, never mind. I liked it with no qualifications! I just went to read your short story file and saw the original version of this where you included an AN that explained things.
9/23/2011 c1 george17
On the one hand I really, really liked it. On the other hand the problem I have is not where you stopped it, because while not the ideal choice, it could actually work fine. The problem is there doesn't seem to be any price paid for the ritual that would justify all the angst displayed while attempting it. I really thought he was going to die prematurely after going back or something as the price. Did I miss something obvious where it was shown?
That seemed like way too much build up at the ritual if the only price was he died when his memories or at least some of them went back. That hardly seems like a severe price to pay for anyone on a losing side. Even if it is only dreams and only a small chance of changing anything it would seem well worth it with no real downside since worst case you're in the same place again. There's nothing wrong with the idea of some super ritual that sends back some of your memories as a chance to change things except if that is the case then Naruto, the Kyuubi and the Guardian seem like a bunch of drama queens when talking about the price.
On the one hand I really, really liked it. On the other hand the problem I have is not where you stopped it, because while not the ideal choice, it could actually work fine. The problem is there doesn't seem to be any price paid for the ritual that would justify all the angst displayed while attempting it. I really thought he was going to die prematurely after going back or something as the price. Did I miss something obvious where it was shown?
That seemed like way too much build up at the ritual if the only price was he died when his memories or at least some of them went back. That hardly seems like a severe price to pay for anyone on a losing side. Even if it is only dreams and only a small chance of changing anything it would seem well worth it with no real downside since worst case you're in the same place again. There's nothing wrong with the idea of some super ritual that sends back some of your memories as a chance to change things except if that is the case then Naruto, the Kyuubi and the Guardian seem like a bunch of drama queens when talking about the price.
9/23/2011 c1 mir
You should try to find someone to check grammar and names.
You should try to find someone to check grammar and names.
9/14/2011 c1 1origamishishou
In the immortal words of Ronald Weasley "That was bloody brilliant." i only have one minor quoff and that's you have the gist of the names of people but sometimes you get them waaay out of wack. for example the hokage is Hiruzen which is not far off what you had and Hiashi (of course let's pass that off as a typo). all in all it's an ejoyable read and I hope to read more if it isn't any trouble. ☺☺☺☺☺ smilies out of 5.
1origamishishouIn the immortal words of Ronald Weasley "That was bloody brilliant." i only have one minor quoff and that's you have the gist of the names of people but sometimes you get them waaay out of wack. for example the hokage is Hiruzen which is not far off what you had and Hiashi (of course let's pass that off as a typo). all in all it's an ejoyable read and I hope to read more if it isn't any trouble. ☺☺☺☺☺ smilies out of 5.
9/13/2011 c1 Lexor
i really enjoyed the story and while you skipped the vast majority of fight scenes i can understand why and it still turned out excellent. i tried writing once upon a time but i stoped because i failed at fights and thought the story would be boring with out them. but you pulled it off. i hope you make a sequel for shippuden and good job!
i really enjoyed the story and while you skipped the vast majority of fight scenes i can understand why and it still turned out excellent. i tried writing once upon a time but i stoped because i failed at fights and thought the story would be boring with out them. but you pulled it off. i hope you make a sequel for shippuden and good job!