for A New York story6/15/2018 c3 Powerpuff
Now that American Dragon and Invisiogirl meets I wonder what they gonna do about it, and we love to see how Jake meets her parents and her younger brother. oh! you might need to work on your spelling
Now that American Dragon and Invisiogirl meets I wonder what they gonna do about it, and we love to see how Jake meets her parents and her younger brother. oh! you might need to work on your spelling
3/17/2018 c4 
197Luiz4200
And another superhero coincidence takes place. I can picture Lao Shi yelling at Jake for telling a Super (is "superhero" really trademarked?) about the magical world.
197Luiz4200And another superhero coincidence takes place. I can picture Lao Shi yelling at Jake for telling a Super (is "superhero" really trademarked?) about the magical world.
5/3/2016 c4 SkullCrusher550
Hey, nice fanfic you got here! Ignore the first guest reviewer, because he makes you frustrated and never write again. You continue this one. :) and I thank you for reviewing my fanfic.
Hey, nice fanfic you got here! Ignore the first guest reviewer, because he makes you frustrated and never write again. You continue this one. :) and I thank you for reviewing my fanfic.
12/6/2015 c1 Guest
This is a load of FUCKING shit, you are one ignorant retarded moron. Spelling awful, story awful. Don't bother to write any more
This is a load of FUCKING shit, you are one ignorant retarded moron. Spelling awful, story awful. Don't bother to write any more
5/8/2013 c4 4TheLightningrodAuthor
Good meetings for both Jake and Violet! I grew up with The Incredibles, and I recently started watching ADJL. Keep up the good work!
4TheLightningrodAuthorGood meetings for both Jake and Violet! I grew up with The Incredibles, and I recently started watching ADJL. Keep up the good work!
10/26/2011 c2 8Satrinity
O.O Whoa... um, something needs to be said here. Before you say, "Oh, a flame D:", THIS IS NOT A FLAME. It's my attempt at giving some constructive criticism.
First: Spacing. You may want to work on the spacing here. See that big, long paragraph in there? Go into the story editor and use that enter key to space it out a bit. Don't be afraid to change this into a story that's a little longer. Most people like that!
Second: Spell check wouldn't hurt here, or at least a good old fashioned dictionary. You've got a few tiny errors in spelling and grammar scattered around, as well as a few strangely worded sentences. While it's not too difficult to do yourself, you could look into a beta if it doesn't appeal to you.
Finally: You seem to be repeating yourself quite a bit. Say some of these things aloud before you continue. A few parts are... well, confusing, to say the least. A little more description couldn't hurt, either.
Sorry about all that, but I just don't want to see a story with so much promise go unread by other authors just because they don't give it a chance.
I like how this is shaping up. Happy writing!
~Satrinity~
8SatrinityO.O Whoa... um, something needs to be said here. Before you say, "Oh, a flame D:", THIS IS NOT A FLAME. It's my attempt at giving some constructive criticism.
First: Spacing. You may want to work on the spacing here. See that big, long paragraph in there? Go into the story editor and use that enter key to space it out a bit. Don't be afraid to change this into a story that's a little longer. Most people like that!
Second: Spell check wouldn't hurt here, or at least a good old fashioned dictionary. You've got a few tiny errors in spelling and grammar scattered around, as well as a few strangely worded sentences. While it's not too difficult to do yourself, you could look into a beta if it doesn't appeal to you.
Finally: You seem to be repeating yourself quite a bit. Say some of these things aloud before you continue. A few parts are... well, confusing, to say the least. A little more description couldn't hurt, either.
Sorry about all that, but I just don't want to see a story with so much promise go unread by other authors just because they don't give it a chance.
I like how this is shaping up. Happy writing!
~Satrinity~
10/18/2011 c2 2captaincuddlesthegreat
Really like this story! Everyones in character, and that's great! BTW, love that twilight reference! Laughed by butt off! Keep up the good work!
2captaincuddlesthegreatReally like this story! Everyones in character, and that's great! BTW, love that twilight reference! Laughed by butt off! Keep up the good work!