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for Soul of Darkness

3/8/2013 c1 1AnimeNutellaYaoi
Dark Takeru like a boss! Awesome! I can't wait for more!
10/30/2011 c1 42KumoFuzei
I love OC. Okay so now that's out there you know I have no prejudice.

Don't write in first person unless you are very skilled, I'm sorry to be brutal but you aren't :S. Rewrite this with third person and create a deep meaningful character. Longer chapters. Don't use came when you are on about sounds, it looks mediocre. Get a beta-reader and pad this out. There is something here, I can see that much but in it's current state I'm not sure I could continue reading it.

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