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for A Con Called Caterwaul

11/10/2011 c2 21DemonSurfer
Oh... oh dear. Hmm.

While I have nothing against new writers (as everyone has to start somewhere), I can't help but feel that this story would be better suited for the Beast Wars continuity rather than Prime, especially if you are insistent on giving your character an animal-based alt mode. Otherwise it would probably be best to stick to the show's example and give her a vehicle instead. For that matter, unless Caterwaul is dimensionally a human-sized minibot there is no way for her mass to have been compressed into something the size of a clouded leopard. Nor is it likely that she would be able to imitate fur. Her preference for teeth and claws over the advanced weaponry of her race seems quite illogical to me, but then again some characters may prefer hand to hand combat. It is not very practical though.

I also feel that we did not get much development with Caterwaul's character. She appears and is immediately set upon by Starscream. Why? How do the Decepticons know where she is? What is she doing on Earth? Is she an ex-Con hiding from Megatron like Airachnid? How does she know about Cliffjumper, and for that matter why does she care if she is indeed a Decepticon?

While it would be possible for a Cybertronian to use several different Earth languages (learning them by downloading the knowledge off of the internet) it does not seem very probable that they would use more than one in any given situation. For that matter, if Caterwaul found English writing "incomprehensible" in the first chapter, how does she know multiple Earth languages in the second? It is not very likely that she would learn the spoken language without the written. Also, many readers will abandon a story if there are words from other languages used without a clear reason, so it is usually best to stick with one language.
10/23/2011 c1 oh god
MARY-SUE ALERT!
10/22/2011 c1 sweety death too lazy to login
short but nice start darling, keep it up XD !
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