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for A Con Called Caterwaul

9/15/2012 c43 TheThingThatSmiles
Me: Can I write somethiing on Airachnids back? It would be funny!
Here it is: "Squash me"

Anyways great job and i read some of the reviews (more like hi buddy its me again or something like that) and this not a Mary Sue story. They just dont understand your story!
I love your story and no one will change my mind, whenever i get this story in my e-mail, I sorta go into a fangirl moment (hehe no denies!) so im putting this story in my favs (i think its in there already!)
9/15/2012 c2 Hey buddy again
I apologize for this, but my computer decided to post the review early. Ha. I again apologize for cutting off there, so I'll just skip ahead to the important parts.

Overall, this story isn't very good. The whole story basically revolves around Caterwaul's position/job which makes no logical sense. By extension, the story is nonsensical, or random as you seem to prefer. Listen: If it doesn't make sense, most will not read it. I urge you to please stop the "randomness" because it's annoying and not in the least bit funny.
Continuing on, by saying that she's a 'Con that spies for the Autobots makes her an ex-Con spy. There is absolutely no way she can be a 'Con spying on Con's for the Autobots. It just doesn't work. Especially considering her "reasons" for not liking 'Cons.
It's already been pointed out, but I still have to ask: Why does she care if Stars killed 'Jumper? Just because, you, as the author, does not like something doesn't mean that your character should be bound by the same logic. That's the basis of what constitutes a Sue: Your character is what you are/want to be.

As stated prior, the 'random, oh don't take this seriously' chapters should not be here as it takes away from the story big time. It basically says that you do not take your writing as seriously as you should and are writing for more yourself than for other folks. While it's okay to do that, write for yourself, please keep it to yourself.

This leads me to comment on the "well, why are you reading it?" attitude. I've seen this lots of times and while it does seem logical, think of it this way:
If you are not writing for yourself, them who are you writing for? Us, right? The readers. All the readers. Not just the ones you always mention in your author's notes, but everyone. And while a few people find it entertaining, some do not.
This ties in to the Mary Sue you have here. Like I said before, Sues are hated by most because they are not in the least original nor interesting to read about. We try to get rid of them as soon as possible because it kills creativity. There is nothing fresh about them. The more people that do this, the more imagination dies. And I mean that in a sense of originality because I keep using the same word over an over. Shame.
Someone said you're improving. I agree a little bit, but I urge you to at least do what was suggested and re-write the main chapters. Tidy up and remove or just move the 'random' chapters. I suggest that you combine some chapters to make them longer and not have so many.

And finally (finally!), how old are you? Many Suesies, as I like to call people who write Mary Sues, are young, often pre-teens new to writing. This is because, for lack of better wording, don't know any better. And it's okay, many people start out writing Sues. I did, ha. But the excuses of "well I'm only x-years old" (or "this is my first story") work only once. After people have been told and they write more and more, they should break away from these habits and develop new, original pieces of writing. That's what makes the difference: If they move away from Sues.

Thank you so much for reading this (again! sorry for the inconvenience of two lengthy reviews) and I really hope you take this, and others' seriously. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.
9/15/2012 c1 Hey buddy
I'm putting this long (seriously, it's pretty long. I like being thorough) review on the first chapter as one big review so that I don't have to write multiple times for each chapter, but bear in mind that I did read... most of what I could stand reading. I usually like to write a skeleton review and flesh it out as I continue, so some things might seem a bit like an after thought or might seem out of place. Thank you for taking your time to read all this and I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this get better at writing.

First, an issue with this first chapter and why it's important to mention.

It's all one giant block. While I consider myself an accomplished reader, there are many of those who have trouble following along with condensed text like this and easily get lost when following a sentence. I see that you change this further on which is awesome, but this is the first chapter; it's meant to draw the reader in and want to continue reading. It can be a turn off for anyone who wants to read this story if they can't get past the first chapter.

From what I can decipher from your reviews (please note that having lots of reviews does not equate to a good story), your Mary is in the Prime 'verse correct? And yes it is a Mary Sue, I can tell just by the summary alone. The whole "look at me I'm cute and insane and funny and you'll like her I promise" thing is waaaayyy overdone and an instant red flag of Suedom since many people assume that 'insanity' is a cool thing to have when instead it is a very serious matter that causes a lot of grief.

I'm gonna agree with Mr(s). NoMoreMarySues and the rest of the supposed "naysayers". This is a pretty bad start.

The fact that you acknowledge that she is a Mary and you have no intention of changing it is disconcerting. I'm sorry but I now cannot take you or your story seriously. Many others have pointed this out.
Here's why:
Mary Sues are a mold that kills creative writing because then it is no longer creative or mildly interesting. This is why you get negative reviews. By saying that you, the author, find the story interesting has absolutely no impact on whether or not people on the internet want to read it because that opinion is bias. Of course you or perhaps close friends would say that, because you wrote it.
I don't mean to lecture you. I just want to tell you why people react this way, alright? Okay.
I notice that you don't like rude comments, and no one does, but please remember that you ask at the end of almost every chapter for reviews. That indicates to the reader that you are very open for critiquing. That means that people analyze the writing and then tell what they think.
And for the record, I have yet to see these 'rude' reviews. Most of them are very well done and informative. I've seen way worse than those, where people do not say why it's bad but rather how bad with lots of expletives. Our opinions may be the same, but not the way it's said. We do not condone those types of reviews.
A 'good review' should point out both positives and negatives and tell how to fix them. A 'This is awesome!' or ' write more!' is not a good review, but rather what has come to be called an (please excuse my language) "ass-patting". Unjust praising with no real value other than to please the author and get in good graces.
I see that there are people telling you to ignore the "rude" reviews and not care what they say, but please listen: these people, whether intentional or not, are not helping you at all. The absolute worst thing for an author to do is ignore criticism. Logically, people wouldn't say these things if they were not true, right? Lots of people singing the same tune just adds more solidity.
No, some people do not write nice things. Please know these people do not mean ill-intentions, but are just tired.
Okay? We're tired of seeing these kind of stories and are fed-up with them. Fanfic writing is supposed to be fun for readers and authors, but when the authors, like you, respond with "well if you don't like it, then don't read it!" and promptly ignore valuable criticisms, we are put off and frustrated.
Like Mr(s). Perceptor said, we can't decide if like like if we don't read it. We continue to read because we are here to read a story. You have put this out where everyone with internet access can see it and asked for feedback from the people. Being rude in turn will not solve anything, but turn the wheel and cause more, if not some at all, rude comments and create a negative attitude about yourself. If there is a rude review, like the ones I've described, don't ignore them but rather read them as a piercing siren: Something is wrong and sometimes the only way to get one's attention is to scream loudly. Can you understand that? Thank you.

Just a note: please, (in reference to your profile) you are not insane nor random and saying so does not mean you are special or unique in any way. A quick Google search of "medical definition of insanity" yields this:

"A term used more in legal and social than in medical terminology. It refers to those mental illnesses that are of such a serious or debilitating nature as to interfere with one's capability of functioning within the legal limits of society and performing the normal activities of daily living."
-Source: Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. 2009, Elsevier

I nitpick at this because I see it so often nowadays; people claim they (or their character) are "insane" in an attempt to look cool and unique when instead they end up seeming like they're trying too hard to appear special and instead of creating interesting characters, they use it as a poor excuse for the characters' poorly-written behaviour. Your 'crazy' author's notes are unnecessary and annoying. Again, a turn off for people who enjoy serious literature. This also fuels the negativity. Thank you for reading this and I hope that you take this seriously, like every author takes his/her critiques.

With all this in mind, I will now speak briefly of the actual story.
As it's been pointed out, you want to be in the Prime 'verse, but your character is a snow leopard? Another instant Mary flag. She can't be an animal because NONE of the characters have animal alt-modes, even the ones like Airachnid who originally was an organic alt-mode has been changed into a helicopter to maintain the theme of non-organic Earth vehicle alt-modes.
If we were in Beast Wars 'verse that'd be fine, but not here since she doesn't fit in. I'd suggest changing either the alt-mode or the universe which this is set in.

If you intend on writing in an AU, this is not an AU (alternate-universe) because unless everyone else has an organic alt mode even there she wouldn't fit in. An AU does not mean slapping in a single character into a cannon time-line (i.e it follows the episodes), it means taking the whole package and shaping it into situations that seems plausible, like say, the 'Cons winning the war in Animated. Or it could be changing things into a totally different, uh, world I suppose. Like the Greek Transformers Universe stories floating on here somewhere. Can't remember where they are though, sorry.

Few details that are inconsistent: You first say that this "she-bot", which is actually called a 'femme', is "almost jet black" when later you describe her a few times as being purple. Is she both? Or just one? Golden optics are rare, but I'll let it go for now. I am please you didn't try to have two colors, so you at least have some idea of what's acceptable.

It is mentioned that Caterwaul, which I'm glad is kinda a 'Former-esque name, does not really understand human languages. Yes, you said that.
"The humans' written language was incomprehensible to her".
Then in the next chapters she starts speaking Spanish and Japanese. I would assume that if she doesn't take the time to learn the written language, then she has no interest in human languages at all. Again, Mary flags are flapping high in the wind. Using another language entirely out of context is both annoying and illogical. Simply "because she enjoys the other not knowing what she's saying" is not a valid reason. Even so, they would know what she's saying because instant access to the internet would let them learn the languages.
9/15/2012 c43 8Iceshadow911247
Hm, just thought of this. I find this song very good, in my opinion: "Through the Ghost" by Shinedown.


And WHAT? Breakdown... has some humor? o-o
9/15/2012 c43 13Airachnid-Femme
Yes. I change randomly. :D

9/11/2012 c42 63All-My-Characters-Are-Dead
oh, boy. I love Caterwaul's little bit of instinct or whatever. "So glad yout rubber tires don't conduct electricity"
oh, man. that was amazing. great job!
as for the song "i'll walk", it's amazing. i can't remember who sings it, but it's a country song. you should be able to find it on google.
9/4/2012 c1 NoMoreMarySues
9/4/2012 c42 13Airachnid-Femme
Hahahaha! Twitchy Cons! :D

Oh, I don't take offense. KnockOut probably wouldn't be the best medic anywho. xD
9/4/2012 c42 TheThingThatSmiles
You know, they should make a scary movie out of twitching... That would be funny
9/4/2012 c42 5Incognito Llama
Haha it is a funny word! Glue traps? Whyyyyy? XD
8/30/2012 c41 63All-My-Characters-Are-Dead
oh, this's gonna be good. i can hear that song "i'll walk" playing when i think about Breakdown helping Caterwaul stand upright again.
awesome job!
8/29/2012 c41 5Incognito Llama
XD yay! Will Caterwaul "fall" and Breakdown "catch" her? Hehe that would be a BIG fluff moment! Well, whatever happens I hope that she feels better soon!
8/29/2012 c41 Random guest
Wow, I love this story! The foreign languages are neat, and the story has tons of funny bits! please update soon!
8/29/2012 c41 13Airachnid-Femme
Why thank you fellow non-bone jello liker! :D

Awesome update! I wander how Ratchet would feel if he saw that he was being proved wrong... What happens KnockOuts repairs? I always thought he did a pretty good job...
8/27/2012 c40 63All-My-Characters-Are-Dead
oh, i love nice examples of cruel irony! the jumping-on-the-broken leg thing seemed a little extreme for cheerful Caterwaul, until i remembered that her whole goal is to take revenge for other people. then it seemed perfect.
great chapter! :) i'd like to see some fluff between Caterwaul and Breakdown eventually. please?
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