for A New Chance For Adventure10/14 c41 FLURRY
CONTINUE THIS AMAZING STORY PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE! ! ! !
CONTINUE THIS AMAZING STORY PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE! ! ! !
9/30 c41 
5jedimasterpest
Phew, finally caught up on this story and I gotta say. I am loving it. It sure has been a rollercoaster ride and that final reveal from Ho-oh, man I never saw that coming and the build up to it with Latias realizing what Ho-oh was about say, I just kept going "No way, no freaking way". with the emotional scenes i think you do a great job at them. Can't wait for the next chapter and I hope we get see Brock and Kaidra bonding in their shared roles as caretakers.
5jedimasterpestPhew, finally caught up on this story and I gotta say. I am loving it. It sure has been a rollercoaster ride and that final reveal from Ho-oh, man I never saw that coming and the build up to it with Latias realizing what Ho-oh was about say, I just kept going "No way, no freaking way". with the emotional scenes i think you do a great job at them. Can't wait for the next chapter and I hope we get see Brock and Kaidra bonding in their shared roles as caretakers.
9/11 c29 1Author-san 9001
Chapter 12 — Wrapping up the Rico Arc
Picking up where we left off, the twins share snippets of their past with everyone to comfort Larvitar. It’s nice and wholesome all around. I’ll say you did fairly well with writing emotions in this.
Chapters 13 to 15 — New Beginnings
A few recognizable characters make their appearance. Out of all of them, Seviper is surprisingly different. She is a force to be reckoned with! And as a runner-up, we have Treecko, who seems to have gotten himself a backstory in this AU. I’m curious to see where that will lead.
Bianca becoming a coordinator makes a lot of sense in retrospect, due to the foreshadowing in the beginning chapters. Because of circumstances, however, her first Contest is practically a catastrophe, but you have to start somewhere, yeah? The only way for her to go from here is up.
Chapters 16 to 18 — Battle for the Stone Badge
Despite the name I use to refer to them, these three chapters do a lot more than cover Ash’s gym battle with Roxanne. I can’t say I expected Ash to give Bianca ownership over Latias, but with the group being so tightly united, I don’t see it changing much in the long run. Plus, Ash gets to put Treecko on his team, so I’m not complaining.
With Phaedra and Silver’s introduction, I can *finally* call Mr. Vengy by his name and not sound like an absolute buffoon! Yeeee-e-e-ess! ...Ahem. I’m stoked to see what will happen when Azrael makes his move.
Ash’s gym battle with Roxanne is interesting because of the conditions that were imposed on it. Despite all of that, he still smoked Roxanne, no coal, no wood. It helps when you have the type advantage. And a legendary being of unfathomable power.
I like that the buildup to the next arc happens in tandem with Ash’s gym battle as if to show that the world doesn’t revolve around our protagonists. With Team Aqua being so fearful of Steven Stone, it makes me wonder just how powerful he is.
Chapters 19 to 24 — Rustburo Raid
Oh. Man. What a BANGER of an arc! Where do I even begin?!
Team Aqua had a plan, and from the outset, their threat level was clear. They are not messing around and efficiently do what they came here to do. But when you need *hundreds* of people so you can stall *one* man, you know this man is simply built different. Steven Stone is in a league of his own when it comes to power. His middle name must be “Ramsay” because he was *cooking* these Team Aqua fellas left and right!
Here comes Ash to help. And oh boy, the power creep hits hard. Grunts? Easy peasy. But throw in a Team Aqua Admin whose ace was been selectively bred and dumped with steroids, and you have yourself an immovable object that not even legendary power can take on. The battle against Team Aqua Admin Matt skyrockets the tension, as this is the first time they’ve met their match. Moreover, the longer it lasts, the more the chance of them rescuing Joseph diminishes. And to make matters worse, Shelly comes in to jump Ash too? It’s so over…
But it’s in moments of despair that Steven Stone is there to show that he’s the MVP. His mere presence was enough to level the playing field; the man had Shelly quaking in her boots. And what does she do in this situation? She tries *talking* to him. A bold move, considering the situation. I’ll give credit where credit is due, but Steven and Joseph are having none of this. The only thing Team Aqua is taking home with it is a fat L. Nothing else.
Team Aqua Admin Amber is slightly insane. But his insanity allows him to happen to the plot, forcing everyone else to react to what he does. With the battle erupting into action once more, Shelly was right to fear Steven. The man’s got that dog in him and can transfer it to his pokémon: Just look at how Mawile *decimated* Swampert and Wishiwashi with one attack each. That type of violation is just vile. In the commotion, Joseph is rescued, and Amber and Matt retreat. Phew. Finally, we can relax and put this arc behind us.
… Is what I would’ve said if Amber wasn’t coo-coo crazy and refused to go home until he’d had his Hollywood-certified Explosion. Why does Team Aqua have a giant laser nuke? And why did they give the remote controller to this man?!
The way the tension just exploded into unprecedented heights had me sweating buckets. But Latios and Latias dashing into the fray, fearless and determined, restored my hope. I mean, they saved Alto Mare from a giant tidal wave, so this should be no sweat! Right?!
But you’re a cruel man, Arcy. Extinguishing that ray of hope like that, letting the situation get so dark and depressing… Only for it to bounce back like a taut rubber band!
The climax of the arc is a rollercoaster of emotions. Latios and Latias unleashing their true power in a moment of despair was the moment when I realized I was a fan of this story. Their speech is so corny; I wouldn’t have it any other way. And the absolute spectacle that was them decimating Team Aqua’s airship and saving Rustburo? My jaw would have hit the floor if I was a cartoon character. What a grandiose finish!
Chapters 25 to 29 — Aftermath of the Raid
What I enjoy about these next few chapters is that they take the time to slow things down so our heroes — and regional Legendary supervisors in Skailyn and Phaedra — can digest what just happened. The Eon twins’ discussion with the group is heavy and filled with incertitude as they recall their near-death experiences, their powerups, and the questions brought by all of it. With the situation having reached this point, Latios’ contingency plan is brought back: to go to Sky Pillar so they can tell Rayquaza to deal with the eco-terrorists while they enjoy the rest of their journey in peace. Unbeknownst to them, they’re being spied on by a particular individual, one who reports the information back to a certain man of interest.
Azrael’s re-introduction is a perfect testament to how your writing has drastically improved over the years, Arcy. Now armed with a calm and collected mindset, Azrael has a simple goal, and I can’t wait to read how that confrontation will come into play.
In other news, Ash and Steven meet up. The former’s maturity as he declines to take credit for saving Rustburo is so clean and in character. And his declaration of challenging Steven to a battle is bold. But before the battle can happen, Ash is rewarded for his heroic deeds with a Pidgeotite and a Key Stone. From the looks of it, it’ll take some time to master, but once they do, Pidgeot will become a terrifying force for sure.
Cynthia and Steven’s relationship makes sense: They have great chemistry, and their dynamic is wholesome. Although I find their aces to be comically overpowered. It’s funny, though, so I’m vibing with it. I enjoyed learning about their roots. From what I can tell, Galar characters could appear in the story, somewhere down the line. That would be interesting.
Latios vs. Mawile makes it obvious that Latios has a long way to go before he can fully harness his full power. But his potential motivates Steven to partake in the Hoenn League. Wowie. We're truly heading toward the battle of the ages.
With everything said and done, our group makes one last pit stop at Devon Corp. Where Joseph thanks them for their deed and gives them a gift in gratitude. Now, it’s time to head to Sky Pillar, and I’m sure nothing unfortunate will happen on the way there.
Everything you’ve written has been fantastic, and if you’ll excuse me, I have to plunge right back into it. I hope you don’t mind.
1Author-san 9001Chapter 12 — Wrapping up the Rico Arc
Picking up where we left off, the twins share snippets of their past with everyone to comfort Larvitar. It’s nice and wholesome all around. I’ll say you did fairly well with writing emotions in this.
Chapters 13 to 15 — New Beginnings
A few recognizable characters make their appearance. Out of all of them, Seviper is surprisingly different. She is a force to be reckoned with! And as a runner-up, we have Treecko, who seems to have gotten himself a backstory in this AU. I’m curious to see where that will lead.
Bianca becoming a coordinator makes a lot of sense in retrospect, due to the foreshadowing in the beginning chapters. Because of circumstances, however, her first Contest is practically a catastrophe, but you have to start somewhere, yeah? The only way for her to go from here is up.
Chapters 16 to 18 — Battle for the Stone Badge
Despite the name I use to refer to them, these three chapters do a lot more than cover Ash’s gym battle with Roxanne. I can’t say I expected Ash to give Bianca ownership over Latias, but with the group being so tightly united, I don’t see it changing much in the long run. Plus, Ash gets to put Treecko on his team, so I’m not complaining.
With Phaedra and Silver’s introduction, I can *finally* call Mr. Vengy by his name and not sound like an absolute buffoon! Yeeee-e-e-ess! ...Ahem. I’m stoked to see what will happen when Azrael makes his move.
Ash’s gym battle with Roxanne is interesting because of the conditions that were imposed on it. Despite all of that, he still smoked Roxanne, no coal, no wood. It helps when you have the type advantage. And a legendary being of unfathomable power.
I like that the buildup to the next arc happens in tandem with Ash’s gym battle as if to show that the world doesn’t revolve around our protagonists. With Team Aqua being so fearful of Steven Stone, it makes me wonder just how powerful he is.
Chapters 19 to 24 — Rustburo Raid
Oh. Man. What a BANGER of an arc! Where do I even begin?!
Team Aqua had a plan, and from the outset, their threat level was clear. They are not messing around and efficiently do what they came here to do. But when you need *hundreds* of people so you can stall *one* man, you know this man is simply built different. Steven Stone is in a league of his own when it comes to power. His middle name must be “Ramsay” because he was *cooking* these Team Aqua fellas left and right!
Here comes Ash to help. And oh boy, the power creep hits hard. Grunts? Easy peasy. But throw in a Team Aqua Admin whose ace was been selectively bred and dumped with steroids, and you have yourself an immovable object that not even legendary power can take on. The battle against Team Aqua Admin Matt skyrockets the tension, as this is the first time they’ve met their match. Moreover, the longer it lasts, the more the chance of them rescuing Joseph diminishes. And to make matters worse, Shelly comes in to jump Ash too? It’s so over…
But it’s in moments of despair that Steven Stone is there to show that he’s the MVP. His mere presence was enough to level the playing field; the man had Shelly quaking in her boots. And what does she do in this situation? She tries *talking* to him. A bold move, considering the situation. I’ll give credit where credit is due, but Steven and Joseph are having none of this. The only thing Team Aqua is taking home with it is a fat L. Nothing else.
Team Aqua Admin Amber is slightly insane. But his insanity allows him to happen to the plot, forcing everyone else to react to what he does. With the battle erupting into action once more, Shelly was right to fear Steven. The man’s got that dog in him and can transfer it to his pokémon: Just look at how Mawile *decimated* Swampert and Wishiwashi with one attack each. That type of violation is just vile. In the commotion, Joseph is rescued, and Amber and Matt retreat. Phew. Finally, we can relax and put this arc behind us.
… Is what I would’ve said if Amber wasn’t coo-coo crazy and refused to go home until he’d had his Hollywood-certified Explosion. Why does Team Aqua have a giant laser nuke? And why did they give the remote controller to this man?!
The way the tension just exploded into unprecedented heights had me sweating buckets. But Latios and Latias dashing into the fray, fearless and determined, restored my hope. I mean, they saved Alto Mare from a giant tidal wave, so this should be no sweat! Right?!
But you’re a cruel man, Arcy. Extinguishing that ray of hope like that, letting the situation get so dark and depressing… Only for it to bounce back like a taut rubber band!
The climax of the arc is a rollercoaster of emotions. Latios and Latias unleashing their true power in a moment of despair was the moment when I realized I was a fan of this story. Their speech is so corny; I wouldn’t have it any other way. And the absolute spectacle that was them decimating Team Aqua’s airship and saving Rustburo? My jaw would have hit the floor if I was a cartoon character. What a grandiose finish!
Chapters 25 to 29 — Aftermath of the Raid
What I enjoy about these next few chapters is that they take the time to slow things down so our heroes — and regional Legendary supervisors in Skailyn and Phaedra — can digest what just happened. The Eon twins’ discussion with the group is heavy and filled with incertitude as they recall their near-death experiences, their powerups, and the questions brought by all of it. With the situation having reached this point, Latios’ contingency plan is brought back: to go to Sky Pillar so they can tell Rayquaza to deal with the eco-terrorists while they enjoy the rest of their journey in peace. Unbeknownst to them, they’re being spied on by a particular individual, one who reports the information back to a certain man of interest.
Azrael’s re-introduction is a perfect testament to how your writing has drastically improved over the years, Arcy. Now armed with a calm and collected mindset, Azrael has a simple goal, and I can’t wait to read how that confrontation will come into play.
In other news, Ash and Steven meet up. The former’s maturity as he declines to take credit for saving Rustburo is so clean and in character. And his declaration of challenging Steven to a battle is bold. But before the battle can happen, Ash is rewarded for his heroic deeds with a Pidgeotite and a Key Stone. From the looks of it, it’ll take some time to master, but once they do, Pidgeot will become a terrifying force for sure.
Cynthia and Steven’s relationship makes sense: They have great chemistry, and their dynamic is wholesome. Although I find their aces to be comically overpowered. It’s funny, though, so I’m vibing with it. I enjoyed learning about their roots. From what I can tell, Galar characters could appear in the story, somewhere down the line. That would be interesting.
Latios vs. Mawile makes it obvious that Latios has a long way to go before he can fully harness his full power. But his potential motivates Steven to partake in the Hoenn League. Wowie. We're truly heading toward the battle of the ages.
With everything said and done, our group makes one last pit stop at Devon Corp. Where Joseph thanks them for their deed and gives them a gift in gratitude. Now, it’s time to head to Sky Pillar, and I’m sure nothing unfortunate will happen on the way there.
Everything you’ve written has been fantastic, and if you’ll excuse me, I have to plunge right back into it. I hope you don’t mind.
7/8 c11 Author-san 9001
No introductions. Let’s get right into it.
**Obvious Spoiler Alert**
*Chapters 4–5 — Team Magma’s First Heist*
This mini-arc does its job fine, but I do have some complaints. TM’s threat level is all over the place; it leaves me questioning whether you want me to take them seriously or not. Pikachu, Latios, and Pidgeot vs the Grunts is the worst offender of this.
I was surprised with the sudden shift to thriller with Latios, there. It makes me wonder how much PTSD he got from his childhood and Movie 5.
The arc finishes with some ominous setup of a vengeful spirit; I’ll call him “Mr. Vengy” for now. He’s a bit generic as far as villains with a revenge motive go, but it could be worst.
*Chapters 6–7 — Battle for the Balance Badge*
After making a contingency plan to deal with Team Magma and Team Aqua, it’s time for the first gym battle of the region. There’s some subversion already from the anime since Ash is taking on the Petalburg gym first instead of the Rustburo gym. Nice!
The gym battle is standard enough. Phanpy gets bodied, Larvitar single-handedly demonstrates why battles have a time limit now, and Pidgeot clutches up. TR’s interruption was annoying, but that’s to be expected. Good going with showing Ash’s growth with him not accepting the badge until he had won it legitimately.
It looks like May won’t be sticking around, at least for the time being. Makes sense; Bianca already fills the role she would have played otherwise.
We interrupt these shenanigans to get a look at what Team Magma is planning. The truly interesting part is seeing what our boy, Mr. Vengy, is up to as he’s spying on them. Not gonna lie, his entire personality must be “boomer with a hate boner” because those are the vibes I was getting from him in this scene. Especially with how melodramatic he was being about how the humans fell off. My guy, you did not to violate that innocent(?) grunt; you needed to start coping.
But that’s enough of that. Back to regularly scheduled shenanigans.
The latter part of chapter 7 deals with a lot of exposition regarding the father Latios—Dadios, if you will. The recontextualization of the events of Movie 5 was interesting, and so was the explanation of the difficult situation Latios and Latias were put in because of Mr. Vengy’s actions. The scene also establishes a long-term goal for Dadios: To deal with Mr. Vengy so he can meet with his family. It’s a great setup for this story, as it builds anticipation from this point on.
*Chapters 8–11 — Rico*
Now en route to Rustboro, the group gets into some trouble with a flock of TAILLOW and SWELLOW. I enjoyed Pidgeot humbling Taillow and lecturing him about being a leader. She may have been gone for only a year, but she’s already acquired a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. She can hold this W and hold it proudly.
As a bonus consequence of this encounter, Smeargle joins the gang as Bianca’s partner. Hey, that rhymes! Anyway, she’s an obvious pick, but being predictable ain’t bad.
Moving on, TR gets clapped by Rico, and they lose their pokémon. Their only option to get them back is to ask the gang for help. What’s fun about this scene is the juxtaposition with the warning that Pidgeot gave Taillow about antagonizing others. Was it not for a personal goal, the gang wouldn’t have helped them. We’re finally getting some dynamic character motivation; that is very cool to see.
After some shenanigans, Ash and Officer Jenny go to confront Rico. They win. Unfortunately, Larvitar’s mother is still out of reach. Everyone comforting Larvitar as he cried was wholesome.
Latios does a big no-no by killing Rico out of spite, despite being warned not to do so. And there *would* have been consequences if not for Skailyn’s intervention. This sort of rubs me the wrong way since Latios gets away scot-free with murder. Not the kind of behaviour that should be allowed to thrive, but I’m not finished reading this fic; it could be addressed in the future, so I won’t jump to conclusions.
TR is handed back their pokémon, and Brock has a real talk with them, resulting in them leaving to think about what they really want to do with their lives. This was a pivotal moment for the fic, in my opinion. Having more instances of dealing with TR would just be detrimental. I praise you for finding a permanent way to deal with them.
Skailyn is an interesting character. I don’t have much to say about her now except that I’m looking forward to seeing how she will deal with trying to end pokémon slavery.
To end things off, Mr. Vengy is moving on with his plan, Team Aqua is scheduling an attack on Devon Corporation, and Annie and Oakley are going to search Pokélantis ruins for clues about a sealed Ho-oh.
All in all, the more I progress through the story, the more plot threads I notice that are getting established. This makes this story more promising as a result, and I can’t wait to read the rest of this (hopefully!) thrilling fic.
No introductions. Let’s get right into it.
**Obvious Spoiler Alert**
*Chapters 4–5 — Team Magma’s First Heist*
This mini-arc does its job fine, but I do have some complaints. TM’s threat level is all over the place; it leaves me questioning whether you want me to take them seriously or not. Pikachu, Latios, and Pidgeot vs the Grunts is the worst offender of this.
I was surprised with the sudden shift to thriller with Latios, there. It makes me wonder how much PTSD he got from his childhood and Movie 5.
The arc finishes with some ominous setup of a vengeful spirit; I’ll call him “Mr. Vengy” for now. He’s a bit generic as far as villains with a revenge motive go, but it could be worst.
*Chapters 6–7 — Battle for the Balance Badge*
After making a contingency plan to deal with Team Magma and Team Aqua, it’s time for the first gym battle of the region. There’s some subversion already from the anime since Ash is taking on the Petalburg gym first instead of the Rustburo gym. Nice!
The gym battle is standard enough. Phanpy gets bodied, Larvitar single-handedly demonstrates why battles have a time limit now, and Pidgeot clutches up. TR’s interruption was annoying, but that’s to be expected. Good going with showing Ash’s growth with him not accepting the badge until he had won it legitimately.
It looks like May won’t be sticking around, at least for the time being. Makes sense; Bianca already fills the role she would have played otherwise.
We interrupt these shenanigans to get a look at what Team Magma is planning. The truly interesting part is seeing what our boy, Mr. Vengy, is up to as he’s spying on them. Not gonna lie, his entire personality must be “boomer with a hate boner” because those are the vibes I was getting from him in this scene. Especially with how melodramatic he was being about how the humans fell off. My guy, you did not to violate that innocent(?) grunt; you needed to start coping.
But that’s enough of that. Back to regularly scheduled shenanigans.
The latter part of chapter 7 deals with a lot of exposition regarding the father Latios—Dadios, if you will. The recontextualization of the events of Movie 5 was interesting, and so was the explanation of the difficult situation Latios and Latias were put in because of Mr. Vengy’s actions. The scene also establishes a long-term goal for Dadios: To deal with Mr. Vengy so he can meet with his family. It’s a great setup for this story, as it builds anticipation from this point on.
*Chapters 8–11 — Rico*
Now en route to Rustboro, the group gets into some trouble with a flock of TAILLOW and SWELLOW. I enjoyed Pidgeot humbling Taillow and lecturing him about being a leader. She may have been gone for only a year, but she’s already acquired a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. She can hold this W and hold it proudly.
As a bonus consequence of this encounter, Smeargle joins the gang as Bianca’s partner. Hey, that rhymes! Anyway, she’s an obvious pick, but being predictable ain’t bad.
Moving on, TR gets clapped by Rico, and they lose their pokémon. Their only option to get them back is to ask the gang for help. What’s fun about this scene is the juxtaposition with the warning that Pidgeot gave Taillow about antagonizing others. Was it not for a personal goal, the gang wouldn’t have helped them. We’re finally getting some dynamic character motivation; that is very cool to see.
After some shenanigans, Ash and Officer Jenny go to confront Rico. They win. Unfortunately, Larvitar’s mother is still out of reach. Everyone comforting Larvitar as he cried was wholesome.
Latios does a big no-no by killing Rico out of spite, despite being warned not to do so. And there *would* have been consequences if not for Skailyn’s intervention. This sort of rubs me the wrong way since Latios gets away scot-free with murder. Not the kind of behaviour that should be allowed to thrive, but I’m not finished reading this fic; it could be addressed in the future, so I won’t jump to conclusions.
TR is handed back their pokémon, and Brock has a real talk with them, resulting in them leaving to think about what they really want to do with their lives. This was a pivotal moment for the fic, in my opinion. Having more instances of dealing with TR would just be detrimental. I praise you for finding a permanent way to deal with them.
Skailyn is an interesting character. I don’t have much to say about her now except that I’m looking forward to seeing how she will deal with trying to end pokémon slavery.
To end things off, Mr. Vengy is moving on with his plan, Team Aqua is scheduling an attack on Devon Corporation, and Annie and Oakley are going to search Pokélantis ruins for clues about a sealed Ho-oh.
All in all, the more I progress through the story, the more plot threads I notice that are getting established. This makes this story more promising as a result, and I can’t wait to read the rest of this (hopefully!) thrilling fic.
6/15 c3 Author-san 9001
First and foremost, I would like to apologize. In my last review, I was under the misapprehension that Max appeared earlier than he actually did; my review thus contained some misinformation. I have since learned of my mistake and apologize thoroughly for it.
Now then, onto the review.
This was a great chapter. Really, I've got no complaints. May's interactions as a rookie trainer were fun to read and so was the small bit of training with Ash. Plus, this chapter did some nice setup with Team Magma and some nice buildup with Team Rocket—the actual *competent* one.
Excellent work, Arcy of the Past.
First and foremost, I would like to apologize. In my last review, I was under the misapprehension that Max appeared earlier than he actually did; my review thus contained some misinformation. I have since learned of my mistake and apologize thoroughly for it.
Now then, onto the review.
This was a great chapter. Really, I've got no complaints. May's interactions as a rookie trainer were fun to read and so was the small bit of training with Ash. Plus, this chapter did some nice setup with Team Magma and some nice buildup with Team Rocket—the actual *competent* one.
Excellent work, Arcy of the Past.
6/4 c2 Author-san 9001
And we’re back for Chapter 2 of ANCFA. This chapter focuses on the introduction of May and how she eventually joins our main gang. The chapter feels very similar to how she was introduced in the anime, the main caveat being the addition of Latios and Latias and the removal of Max. A soul for a soul, I guess. However, I haven't watched the anime in a long time; my memory of it may be spotty.
This chapter was fine. It had the usual amount of fluff, but it did everything it had to do just fine.
TR in this chapter was inconsequential (no surprise there), but I have to wonder why they came prepared with shockproof nets when their target was Latios. You would think they would prepare themselves accordingly, but I guess they’re one-trick ponies. May’s bike almost becoming a victim of collateral damage did get a chuckle out of me, though.
Also, I’m just saying: Latias would make a great therapist.
But yeah. In ten words or less: Kinda like the anime, but Latios and Latias replaced Max.
That is all for now. Peace!
And we’re back for Chapter 2 of ANCFA. This chapter focuses on the introduction of May and how she eventually joins our main gang. The chapter feels very similar to how she was introduced in the anime, the main caveat being the addition of Latios and Latias and the removal of Max. A soul for a soul, I guess. However, I haven't watched the anime in a long time; my memory of it may be spotty.
This chapter was fine. It had the usual amount of fluff, but it did everything it had to do just fine.
TR in this chapter was inconsequential (no surprise there), but I have to wonder why they came prepared with shockproof nets when their target was Latios. You would think they would prepare themselves accordingly, but I guess they’re one-trick ponies. May’s bike almost becoming a victim of collateral damage did get a chuckle out of me, though.
Also, I’m just saying: Latias would make a great therapist.
But yeah. In ten words or less: Kinda like the anime, but Latios and Latias replaced Max.
That is all for now. Peace!
6/3 c1 Author-san 9001
And after a long wait, I am back and ready to tackle ANCFA! Let’s get right into it with Chapter 1.
The first scene opens with a re-introduction of our characters. And they are just chilling. It drags on for a little bit, but it’s fine.
The second scene is uh… it makes me want to bring up a few questions. Mainly, why are we focusing on food for this long? I can only guess it’s for comedy’s sake, but I didn’t find it funny, to be honest. Putting it bluntly, this whole scene feels rather pointless to me. It’s nice to see Pidgeot, though. Team Rocket’s (TR for short) presence also sets up an inevitable filler conflict, which I will address later.
The third scene gives some substantial build-up to the group’s arrival in Hoenn. And Latios gets roasted for not being an artist. I quite enjoyed it.
Scenes 4 and 5 handle the filler plot of this chapter with TR kidnapping Pikachu and having their plan inevitably foiled. There’s some comedy inter-spliced throughout, but it wasn’t my cup of tea. Something I found interesting was that the battle against TR showed some potential for an arc revolving around Latias’ relationship with battling, although TR is so non-threatening that if they’re the only thing she’s confronting, she won’t really change her stance about battling. Allow me a prediction: Some future grand threats, like Team Aqua or Team Magma, will make Latias’ stance on battling evolve, where she will gain the conviction to train and fight to protect her friends. Or something like that. She already seems to be this way (only fighting to protect her friends) but there’s nothing pressuring her into intensive training like Latios.
Also, TR hiding in the food storage and eating? Why did we bring it back to food? I thought we were done with that already. Unless… Arcy, I need you to be honest with me. Do you have a food f—oh, sorry, my phone’s ringing.
Yes? … What’s that? Played for laughs? … What’s written in the author’s story isn’t a direct indicator of this one’s beliefs? … Ah. I see.
Alright, Arcy. You can disregard my previous statement.
The birthday surprise was nice and wholesome, although I felt it would’ve been better if the audience was kept in the dark as well. That way, we could’ve been just as surprised as Ash.
A good introduction. But there’s too much padding. That’s how I’d summarize this chapter in 10 words or less. Since you’re aware of the bloat of these early chapters, I will forgo mentioning it in these “10 words or less” summaries.
That is all for now. Peace!
And after a long wait, I am back and ready to tackle ANCFA! Let’s get right into it with Chapter 1.
The first scene opens with a re-introduction of our characters. And they are just chilling. It drags on for a little bit, but it’s fine.
The second scene is uh… it makes me want to bring up a few questions. Mainly, why are we focusing on food for this long? I can only guess it’s for comedy’s sake, but I didn’t find it funny, to be honest. Putting it bluntly, this whole scene feels rather pointless to me. It’s nice to see Pidgeot, though. Team Rocket’s (TR for short) presence also sets up an inevitable filler conflict, which I will address later.
The third scene gives some substantial build-up to the group’s arrival in Hoenn. And Latios gets roasted for not being an artist. I quite enjoyed it.
Scenes 4 and 5 handle the filler plot of this chapter with TR kidnapping Pikachu and having their plan inevitably foiled. There’s some comedy inter-spliced throughout, but it wasn’t my cup of tea. Something I found interesting was that the battle against TR showed some potential for an arc revolving around Latias’ relationship with battling, although TR is so non-threatening that if they’re the only thing she’s confronting, she won’t really change her stance about battling. Allow me a prediction: Some future grand threats, like Team Aqua or Team Magma, will make Latias’ stance on battling evolve, where she will gain the conviction to train and fight to protect her friends. Or something like that. She already seems to be this way (only fighting to protect her friends) but there’s nothing pressuring her into intensive training like Latios.
Also, TR hiding in the food storage and eating? Why did we bring it back to food? I thought we were done with that already. Unless… Arcy, I need you to be honest with me. Do you have a food f—oh, sorry, my phone’s ringing.
Yes? … What’s that? Played for laughs? … What’s written in the author’s story isn’t a direct indicator of this one’s beliefs? … Ah. I see.
Alright, Arcy. You can disregard my previous statement.
The birthday surprise was nice and wholesome, although I felt it would’ve been better if the audience was kept in the dark as well. That way, we could’ve been just as surprised as Ash.
A good introduction. But there’s too much padding. That’s how I’d summarize this chapter in 10 words or less. Since you’re aware of the bloat of these early chapters, I will forgo mentioning it in these “10 words or less” summaries.
That is all for now. Peace!
5/13 c41 lordcromwell
I like the story and feel you are a talented author but I'm curious about the darker turn this story took. It makes it a little difficult to enjoy reading
I like the story and feel you are a talented author but I'm curious about the darker turn this story took. It makes it a little difficult to enjoy reading
4/7 c41 3Syrup-Waffle
Hiya Arcy! Sorry for the hold-up! When I’m reviewing a chapter of ANC, I need to be in the right mindset and also have the time to read it thoroughly! Now then, the long awaited chapter fourty-one is here! That one chapter you dreaded and spent hours of staring at your screen blankly wondering how you should word it! XD Let’s see if you succeeded or not! :3
(…) Brock suggested with the wave of an arm.
This part reads a little awkwardly. I know what you’re trying to say here, but “the wave of an arm” doesn’t really work. “With a wave of his arm” would work better, I’d say.
Can I just comment how natural you are at writing dialogue within a very large group of people? This opening segment has Ash, Brock, Bianca, Pikachu, Kaidra and Ozul talking about Sky Pillar’s hierarchy and it reads buttery smooth. You give everyone dialogue without making it sound forced, which is incredibly skilful on your part! Massive props!
By the way, I love the dry humor between Kaidra and Brock. Her not knowing what a Pokémon breeder is and immediately thinking Brock therefore has sex with Pokémon as a profession got a hearty laugh out of me!
(…) only confused further by their reactions.
Another part that reads a bit awkwardly here. I’d personally try to change it into “only getting more confused by their reactions.”
I see you modelled Dreepy’s personality after early ANCAL Latias here. XD Two modes: excited or childishly disappointed.
Kaidra is so much fun! I’m glad she gets to hang around Brock! They have a very matching personality together!
Going with Ozul doesn’t sound like a very good idea, but he’s apparently skilled at deceiving everyone on Sky Pillar, including Skai, Ray, Phae and Ho-oh.
(…) wings firm and outstretched (…)
You mean to tell me the Latis’ wings are not always firm and outstretched with this part of the sentence then? I’ve never seen their wings not firm or outstretched.
Oooh, a herd of Aurorus in the background! That must be a stunning sight to see!
“Gotcha!”
Latias saying this sounds more like something you would say. Nitpick, but I’m writing down all of my thoughts as I move along. :3
Latios and Latias flying through the different landscapes was beautifully written down. I really immersed myself in that part! Very well done!
“Latias smiled sadly at him, flew to his side, and gently placed a claw supportively on his neck.”
This is a trap I fall into a lot as well, but that’s one too many adverbs in a single sentence. It could work better if you wrote: “she gently and supportively placed a claw on his neck.”
“And on that branch was Ho-oh.”
Gotcha! Passive writing! :P In all seriousness, you’re very good at writing actively! I am pretty sure this is the first passive sentence I encountered so far!
I have to admit, Latios burying himself inside Ho-oh’s plumage like a small chick and muffling thank yous to her while making his head pop-out gives the most adorable vibes ever!
I see you treaded very lightly when opening up Ho-oh’s conversation with the twins. I think you did very well in that regard! Some dialogue from Latias in particular feels a bit out of character for her to say when discussing with Latios if they should go ahead and get their answers. But it’s nothing major!
I love how you described how excited Daddy Latios is when meeting the twins. That made me feel all fuzzy inside. Especially how you followed up with it and made him all teary-eyed and choke up. Really wholesome scene! 3
I love the small distinction you made where Latios calls his father… well, father! While Latias goes for the more cuter dad. It’s subtle, but fits their character beautifully!
You can’t make Daddy Latios call Latias her “baby girl” that’s cheating! I’m tearing up! ;w; Fun fact not entirely unrelated to this scene. One of my favorite games ever is The Last Of Us, recently turned into a TV Series. It’s a post apocalyptic world similar to The Walking Dead bu what makes it so endearing is the relationship between Joel, the protagonist and Elly, whom he slowly sees as his own daughter he lost. It’s powerful and this scene reminded me of it! Good job in making me tear up! XD
Yes! You didn’t write the single tear rolling down one eye with Latios! Full on tears as he realises his father is alive and well! Nicely done!
Man, this is so wholesome and adorable! I’m reading this with a fucking handkerchief. You know how much of a sucker I am for sappy things, including long life reunions of a parent with their children. It really evokes a fuzzy, tear jerking reaction out of me. ;w;
Dun dun duuuun! And there it is, Ho-oh revealing that she’s the twins’ mother! I can definitely see why you struggled with this chapter. The reunion with Daddy Latios and the million questions the twins have really doesn’t make it easy, nor the fact this chapter hasn’t even answered any of those questions yet! But, I have to say, you wrote all of this very well and beautifully! You have my respect for tackling such a heavy, emotional chapter so splendidly! It definitely isn’t easy, but you did it in a way that made all sorts of emotions rise up in me!
This was definitely worth the wait! Thank you so much for writing such an amazing chapter and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors until you’re ready to update this story once more!
~Syrup
3Syrup-WaffleHiya Arcy! Sorry for the hold-up! When I’m reviewing a chapter of ANC, I need to be in the right mindset and also have the time to read it thoroughly! Now then, the long awaited chapter fourty-one is here! That one chapter you dreaded and spent hours of staring at your screen blankly wondering how you should word it! XD Let’s see if you succeeded or not! :3
(…) Brock suggested with the wave of an arm.
This part reads a little awkwardly. I know what you’re trying to say here, but “the wave of an arm” doesn’t really work. “With a wave of his arm” would work better, I’d say.
Can I just comment how natural you are at writing dialogue within a very large group of people? This opening segment has Ash, Brock, Bianca, Pikachu, Kaidra and Ozul talking about Sky Pillar’s hierarchy and it reads buttery smooth. You give everyone dialogue without making it sound forced, which is incredibly skilful on your part! Massive props!
By the way, I love the dry humor between Kaidra and Brock. Her not knowing what a Pokémon breeder is and immediately thinking Brock therefore has sex with Pokémon as a profession got a hearty laugh out of me!
(…) only confused further by their reactions.
Another part that reads a bit awkwardly here. I’d personally try to change it into “only getting more confused by their reactions.”
I see you modelled Dreepy’s personality after early ANCAL Latias here. XD Two modes: excited or childishly disappointed.
Kaidra is so much fun! I’m glad she gets to hang around Brock! They have a very matching personality together!
Going with Ozul doesn’t sound like a very good idea, but he’s apparently skilled at deceiving everyone on Sky Pillar, including Skai, Ray, Phae and Ho-oh.
(…) wings firm and outstretched (…)
You mean to tell me the Latis’ wings are not always firm and outstretched with this part of the sentence then? I’ve never seen their wings not firm or outstretched.
Oooh, a herd of Aurorus in the background! That must be a stunning sight to see!
“Gotcha!”
Latias saying this sounds more like something you would say. Nitpick, but I’m writing down all of my thoughts as I move along. :3
Latios and Latias flying through the different landscapes was beautifully written down. I really immersed myself in that part! Very well done!
“Latias smiled sadly at him, flew to his side, and gently placed a claw supportively on his neck.”
This is a trap I fall into a lot as well, but that’s one too many adverbs in a single sentence. It could work better if you wrote: “she gently and supportively placed a claw on his neck.”
“And on that branch was Ho-oh.”
Gotcha! Passive writing! :P In all seriousness, you’re very good at writing actively! I am pretty sure this is the first passive sentence I encountered so far!
I have to admit, Latios burying himself inside Ho-oh’s plumage like a small chick and muffling thank yous to her while making his head pop-out gives the most adorable vibes ever!
I see you treaded very lightly when opening up Ho-oh’s conversation with the twins. I think you did very well in that regard! Some dialogue from Latias in particular feels a bit out of character for her to say when discussing with Latios if they should go ahead and get their answers. But it’s nothing major!
I love how you described how excited Daddy Latios is when meeting the twins. That made me feel all fuzzy inside. Especially how you followed up with it and made him all teary-eyed and choke up. Really wholesome scene! 3
I love the small distinction you made where Latios calls his father… well, father! While Latias goes for the more cuter dad. It’s subtle, but fits their character beautifully!
You can’t make Daddy Latios call Latias her “baby girl” that’s cheating! I’m tearing up! ;w; Fun fact not entirely unrelated to this scene. One of my favorite games ever is The Last Of Us, recently turned into a TV Series. It’s a post apocalyptic world similar to The Walking Dead bu what makes it so endearing is the relationship between Joel, the protagonist and Elly, whom he slowly sees as his own daughter he lost. It’s powerful and this scene reminded me of it! Good job in making me tear up! XD
Yes! You didn’t write the single tear rolling down one eye with Latios! Full on tears as he realises his father is alive and well! Nicely done!
Man, this is so wholesome and adorable! I’m reading this with a fucking handkerchief. You know how much of a sucker I am for sappy things, including long life reunions of a parent with their children. It really evokes a fuzzy, tear jerking reaction out of me. ;w;
Dun dun duuuun! And there it is, Ho-oh revealing that she’s the twins’ mother! I can definitely see why you struggled with this chapter. The reunion with Daddy Latios and the million questions the twins have really doesn’t make it easy, nor the fact this chapter hasn’t even answered any of those questions yet! But, I have to say, you wrote all of this very well and beautifully! You have my respect for tackling such a heavy, emotional chapter so splendidly! It definitely isn’t easy, but you did it in a way that made all sorts of emotions rise up in me!
This was definitely worth the wait! Thank you so much for writing such an amazing chapter and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors until you’re ready to update this story once more!
~Syrup
3/23 c41 Megatyrant
Hmm, interesting. Well, I never expected for Ho-Oh to actually be their mother, and yet, in regards to another thought I had concerning something else, it makes sense.
See, when Latias accidentally killed Ash, I wondered about what this fire-based power inside her could be. And one of the things that popped into my mind was Sacred Fire, which then begged the questions of "how" and "why"...
Well, I believe I have my answer.
That said, I don't think it's gonna be pretty when Latias learns the truth... and yes, I said "when". Not "if". You can run as long as you like, but you can't hide forever. The truth will come out eventually.
It is... inevitable.
Hmm, interesting. Well, I never expected for Ho-Oh to actually be their mother, and yet, in regards to another thought I had concerning something else, it makes sense.
See, when Latias accidentally killed Ash, I wondered about what this fire-based power inside her could be. And one of the things that popped into my mind was Sacred Fire, which then begged the questions of "how" and "why"...
Well, I believe I have my answer.
That said, I don't think it's gonna be pretty when Latias learns the truth... and yes, I said "when". Not "if". You can run as long as you like, but you can't hide forever. The truth will come out eventually.
It is... inevitable.
3/16 c41 4Soldier of the Dragons
I did not see that one coming. I had been wondering why though they always directed their attention to their father and not their mother. like, why didn't they ask or anyone else ask where their mother was
4Soldier of the DragonsI did not see that one coming. I had been wondering why though they always directed their attention to their father and not their mother. like, why didn't they ask or anyone else ask where their mother was
3/14 c41 8RedDragonX
Welp, took me awhile to catch up on everything - but got there eventually. Can't say I'm fully surprised by the mother reveal, it really came down to Ho-Oh and Reshiram in my mind - and with the amount of interactions and influence Ho-Oh has had on the story so far it made the most sense. Sometimes the most obvious option before you is the answer to a big mystery. Now, the depths that her relationship with Azrael descends to will likely be paired with a lot of the questions that still remain - so will be interesting to see just why she had to remain so "detached" from the family situation in some regard.
I love in-depth stories, and this really isn't an exception - but boy oh boy is it gonna have a lot of ground to cover in the coming years. After all the events that have already befallen the group - really kind of hard to picture them just going right back out there to win the ... Third? Hoenn badge hah .. I am most looking forward to the eventual day that Steven and Ash face each other once more, should be a hell of a battle. Could make a much longer in depth review as this pretty much serves as something for the bulk of the entire story - but I'll leave it at that for now. I will say from the bottom of my heart though: thank you for giving Pidgeot the role she so justly deserves. Looking forward to more in the future.
8RedDragonXWelp, took me awhile to catch up on everything - but got there eventually. Can't say I'm fully surprised by the mother reveal, it really came down to Ho-Oh and Reshiram in my mind - and with the amount of interactions and influence Ho-Oh has had on the story so far it made the most sense. Sometimes the most obvious option before you is the answer to a big mystery. Now, the depths that her relationship with Azrael descends to will likely be paired with a lot of the questions that still remain - so will be interesting to see just why she had to remain so "detached" from the family situation in some regard.
I love in-depth stories, and this really isn't an exception - but boy oh boy is it gonna have a lot of ground to cover in the coming years. After all the events that have already befallen the group - really kind of hard to picture them just going right back out there to win the ... Third? Hoenn badge hah .. I am most looking forward to the eventual day that Steven and Ash face each other once more, should be a hell of a battle. Could make a much longer in depth review as this pretty much serves as something for the bulk of the entire story - but I'll leave it at that for now. I will say from the bottom of my heart though: thank you for giving Pidgeot the role she so justly deserves. Looking forward to more in the future.