for When in Disgrace4/17/2015 c6 
2prose.titute
This story is really good. I like the slow way Hermione recognises her attraction to Mr Malfoy. Don't hurry the relationship! It is good if it comes slowly; more natural.
I hope you are inspired to write again. I hate to see good works abandoned. Please update.
2prose.tituteThis story is really good. I like the slow way Hermione recognises her attraction to Mr Malfoy. Don't hurry the relationship! It is good if it comes slowly; more natural.
I hope you are inspired to write again. I hate to see good works abandoned. Please update.
8/29/2013 c2 7The Ghoul In Pajamas
I'm having a great deal of difficulty following such a lifeless fic...
I understand that you may be a bit busy but do you think you could add a bit more reality into your writing?
As I read your story I could only follow the conversations pieces and accept the characters as they were. I have no idea how they came to be, or what lead them to the situation of their current life or even the surroundings. Can they see any detail of the room, or the people around them, was there sunlight or night, with the heaviness of approaching clouds in the night sky? Colin was in a drawing room...and...well... was is a box? were there windows? what did the room look like, what was his emotion or anxieties upon entering...leaving? And why on earth would the Ministry force all students to apply a year as an Auror after finishing their studies.
I don't blame Hermione for being upset, that was a stupid requirement, but not nearly as stupid as the idea for you too put it in place without fully leading up to the reason as to why it there first. It felt like you were stripping away any history to the outcome. It was what you wanted, so I'm left feeling frustrated with her, without a clear understanding as to why the law was enforced in the story to begin with. You lost me after that...
I don't care much for wordy writers with a limited imagination. Simplu because I find that deep down their true desire is to speed the lives of J.K's characters along as quickly as possible, cutting out detail, senses, sight, smell and touch, solely because all they really want is to write smut.
Throw them together. Skip the mourning, bypass the depression of a lost son and wife and toss him in the sack with her as soon as you can.
Many times an author does this without the two finding love first. Then it all regrettably follows the miraculous creation of an unwanted kid, then there's anger, and finally sex again. Sweet Merlin why! I hope this isn't your story that would be very cliche. But since I don't think I'll be reading it again, so it doesn't matter...oh and thanks for your pleasant review :)
7The Ghoul In PajamasI'm having a great deal of difficulty following such a lifeless fic...
I understand that you may be a bit busy but do you think you could add a bit more reality into your writing?
As I read your story I could only follow the conversations pieces and accept the characters as they were. I have no idea how they came to be, or what lead them to the situation of their current life or even the surroundings. Can they see any detail of the room, or the people around them, was there sunlight or night, with the heaviness of approaching clouds in the night sky? Colin was in a drawing room...and...well... was is a box? were there windows? what did the room look like, what was his emotion or anxieties upon entering...leaving? And why on earth would the Ministry force all students to apply a year as an Auror after finishing their studies.
I don't blame Hermione for being upset, that was a stupid requirement, but not nearly as stupid as the idea for you too put it in place without fully leading up to the reason as to why it there first. It felt like you were stripping away any history to the outcome. It was what you wanted, so I'm left feeling frustrated with her, without a clear understanding as to why the law was enforced in the story to begin with. You lost me after that...
I don't care much for wordy writers with a limited imagination. Simplu because I find that deep down their true desire is to speed the lives of J.K's characters along as quickly as possible, cutting out detail, senses, sight, smell and touch, solely because all they really want is to write smut.
Throw them together. Skip the mourning, bypass the depression of a lost son and wife and toss him in the sack with her as soon as you can.
Many times an author does this without the two finding love first. Then it all regrettably follows the miraculous creation of an unwanted kid, then there's anger, and finally sex again. Sweet Merlin why! I hope this isn't your story that would be very cliche. But since I don't think I'll be reading it again, so it doesn't matter...oh and thanks for your pleasant review :)
5/28/2012 c6 8mari681
I like. Very good descriptions, and you have managed to keep all the characters pretty much in character. So far, I haven't seen any plot holes, or missing points. Update soon, please! Oh, and Good Luck on your search for a Beta. I keep on meaning to find one myself, but... too busy, and I'm worried I won't 'share' well.
8mari681I like. Very good descriptions, and you have managed to keep all the characters pretty much in character. So far, I haven't seen any plot holes, or missing points. Update soon, please! Oh, and Good Luck on your search for a Beta. I keep on meaning to find one myself, but... too busy, and I'm worried I won't 'share' well.
4/18/2012 c6 Cyador
Thank you for writing this - I like see more chapters. I like the way your characters are develloping.
Thank you for writing this - I like see more chapters. I like the way your characters are develloping.
2/3/2012 c6 2kestralspace
this is good. very, very good. please let Lucius totally regain power, kill the people who pillaged such a beautiful museum of a home, and brutally kill the disgusting colin (hate him loads!)...!.i think i would be incredibly happy then..!.more, more, more! x
2kestralspacethis is good. very, very good. please let Lucius totally regain power, kill the people who pillaged such a beautiful museum of a home, and brutally kill the disgusting colin (hate him loads!)...!.i think i would be incredibly happy then..!.more, more, more! x
1/26/2012 c6 krozz
I really like your story, and well I've been reading for awhile, it's just I'm kinda lazy, when it comes to logging in. And well with your anonymous reviews turned off, I just never got around to doing it.
Though I understand, not wanting to get flames and all. Anyway really like your story, and hope to read more in the future
I really like your story, and well I've been reading for awhile, it's just I'm kinda lazy, when it comes to logging in. And well with your anonymous reviews turned off, I just never got around to doing it.
Though I understand, not wanting to get flames and all. Anyway really like your story, and hope to read more in the future
1/25/2012 c6 15DZAuthor AKA DZMom
Brilliant! Malfoy is grooming her to accomplish his dark deeds, and she is, indeed, utterly charmed by him. Oh, she'll be completely ensnared by him soon enough.
Great unconscious nonverbal signal: Hermione touching her hair as she responded to Lucius. I'm sure Lucius is puffed full with manly pride at getting an available young witch to "check him out."
Colin's observations and interference was great. He'd disappeared from the narrative for a bit, but clearly he's doing his job of supervising an apprentice. I suppose he knows howto read Lucius like a book ... except he might be bit too late this time, with Hermione already practically falling at Malfoy's feet, in the figurative sense.
I like how Ginny hates Lucius. It gives Hermione a lifeline of good sense, even if she chooses to ignore it. But I also liked Lucius' very practical testing of Hermione's boundaries as it simultaneously advanced the plot.
15DZAuthor AKA DZMomBrilliant! Malfoy is grooming her to accomplish his dark deeds, and she is, indeed, utterly charmed by him. Oh, she'll be completely ensnared by him soon enough.
Great unconscious nonverbal signal: Hermione touching her hair as she responded to Lucius. I'm sure Lucius is puffed full with manly pride at getting an available young witch to "check him out."
Colin's observations and interference was great. He'd disappeared from the narrative for a bit, but clearly he's doing his job of supervising an apprentice. I suppose he knows howto read Lucius like a book ... except he might be bit too late this time, with Hermione already practically falling at Malfoy's feet, in the figurative sense.
I like how Ginny hates Lucius. It gives Hermione a lifeline of good sense, even if she chooses to ignore it. But I also liked Lucius' very practical testing of Hermione's boundaries as it simultaneously advanced the plot.
1/25/2012 c6 Starcresentmoon
three steps forward one step back :) they are getting closer i do love the pace u have set for the story. but i beg and plead that u update more i love this story and i so want to see what happens. ever ur faithful reader. :)
three steps forward one step back :) they are getting closer i do love the pace u have set for the story. but i beg and plead that u update more i love this story and i so want to see what happens. ever ur faithful reader. :)
1/2/2012 c5 DZAuthor AKA DZMom
I think Lucius has just discovered valuable information about Hermione. It is clear that a romance with her can't be bought in any form of gifts. But chocolate may help her achieve heady states of euphoria which she might not otherwise acheive in the absence of liquor or aphrodisiacs.
I do wonder what Lucius aims to achieve. He clearly grieved Narcissa's death. Otherwise, he would already have had a mistress. He seems to want an advantage over the ministry. She could start out as that ticket.
In Phikosopher's Stone, the troll in the bathroom incident resulted in the forging of trust that established her relationship with Harry and her unspoken forgiveness of Ron's boorishness. Perhaps Lucius is wise enough to realize that Hermione's thirst for knowledge is the key to win her heart. He has yet to discover that she is researching the dark curse thet killed Draco. When he does find out, he would likely be surprised and drawn toward her passion for understanding what killed his son. Since he is older and far wiser in the ways of Dark Arts, he is probably the only former Death Eater that she can quiz and study under to discover the intricate secrets of such forbidden curses. That intellectual immersion may be the only way to gain her heart's trust in him. Another consideration is that the curse tied into a deeply sensual need ... thirst. Perhaps Hermione is relatively weak when it comes to magick pertaining to invoking senses in the body. Although she excelled in potions, I sincerely doubt she ever mastered "ensnaring the senses" as Snape once put it. Lucius seems to ooze senses, from the power hidden under his robes to his lily white naked and dew-drenched skin when he exits the shower. He would be a natural to show her secrets of sensual magic in his collection. Even the plates and dinnerware he rescued from Fletcher's grubby hands could serve as an example of heightening taste and arousing sensations when used in meal service.
Good job taking the romance slowly. Once Hermione is persuaded to be his paramour, I suspect she will becloyal to him to a fault. His extreme advantage will be calculated and put to good use, even if he sincerely falls in love with her and chooses to not simply use her as a relief of his male desires.
I think Lucius has just discovered valuable information about Hermione. It is clear that a romance with her can't be bought in any form of gifts. But chocolate may help her achieve heady states of euphoria which she might not otherwise acheive in the absence of liquor or aphrodisiacs.
I do wonder what Lucius aims to achieve. He clearly grieved Narcissa's death. Otherwise, he would already have had a mistress. He seems to want an advantage over the ministry. She could start out as that ticket.
In Phikosopher's Stone, the troll in the bathroom incident resulted in the forging of trust that established her relationship with Harry and her unspoken forgiveness of Ron's boorishness. Perhaps Lucius is wise enough to realize that Hermione's thirst for knowledge is the key to win her heart. He has yet to discover that she is researching the dark curse thet killed Draco. When he does find out, he would likely be surprised and drawn toward her passion for understanding what killed his son. Since he is older and far wiser in the ways of Dark Arts, he is probably the only former Death Eater that she can quiz and study under to discover the intricate secrets of such forbidden curses. That intellectual immersion may be the only way to gain her heart's trust in him. Another consideration is that the curse tied into a deeply sensual need ... thirst. Perhaps Hermione is relatively weak when it comes to magick pertaining to invoking senses in the body. Although she excelled in potions, I sincerely doubt she ever mastered "ensnaring the senses" as Snape once put it. Lucius seems to ooze senses, from the power hidden under his robes to his lily white naked and dew-drenched skin when he exits the shower. He would be a natural to show her secrets of sensual magic in his collection. Even the plates and dinnerware he rescued from Fletcher's grubby hands could serve as an example of heightening taste and arousing sensations when used in meal service.
Good job taking the romance slowly. Once Hermione is persuaded to be his paramour, I suspect she will becloyal to him to a fault. His extreme advantage will be calculated and put to good use, even if he sincerely falls in love with her and chooses to not simply use her as a relief of his male desires.
1/1/2012 c5 wintersong1954
Interesting start. There needs to be more of a tie in between the conversation between the trio of missing items and Lucius discovering Mundungus Fletcher stealing from him. Like the interaction so far between Hermione and Lucius. It has just enough zip between them while still maintaining a slight wariness between them.
For a first story, I can see you've done a lot of prep work in laying the background for the story. I was a little confused as to why Hermione is an apprentice to an auror. Obviously she doesn't want to be in the position so it would be interesting to develop that angle a little more.
Looking forward to more.
Interesting start. There needs to be more of a tie in between the conversation between the trio of missing items and Lucius discovering Mundungus Fletcher stealing from him. Like the interaction so far between Hermione and Lucius. It has just enough zip between them while still maintaining a slight wariness between them.
For a first story, I can see you've done a lot of prep work in laying the background for the story. I was a little confused as to why Hermione is an apprentice to an auror. Obviously she doesn't want to be in the position so it would be interesting to develop that angle a little more.
Looking forward to more.