for Mercenary3/23/2016 c20 Blackwolf
Pleeeeeaaaase make a sequel and put Aramis and her together
Pleeeeeaaaase make a sequel and put Aramis and her together
4/19/2013 c20 Magicofthesands
YES! Please make a sequel! Ooh, and make Milady come back too... ( remember she's not dead, in the movie...) can't wait!
YES! Please make a sequel! Ooh, and make Milady come back too... ( remember she's not dead, in the movie...) can't wait!
4/30/2012 c20 
5RayOfTheDawn
Yes, yes please a secquel with romance with athos if possible... yuo to good a writer and this is to good a plot to go to waist... and seeing as how the movei ended the possabilitys are endlrsse... PLEASE GRACE US WITH A SEQUEL.
5RayOfTheDawnYes, yes please a secquel with romance with athos if possible... yuo to good a writer and this is to good a plot to go to waist... and seeing as how the movei ended the possabilitys are endlrsse... PLEASE GRACE US WITH A SEQUEL.
4/3/2012 c19 5RayOfTheDawn
i love this story I'm faving it and putting it on alert. I think you should make a sequel... athos-mariane I hope, with some m rated chapters if you can manage. ;) Keep it up and i hope you update soon.
Cheers
5RayOfTheDawni love this story I'm faving it and putting it on alert. I think you should make a sequel... athos-mariane I hope, with some m rated chapters if you can manage. ;) Keep it up and i hope you update soon.
Cheers
2/19/2012 c18 Bookwormforlife
This is a good story so far; a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but for your first English story this is a great start.
I really hate pointing this out to you but I can see that nobody else is going to so I will say it. Marianne is a bit of a Mary Sue. She... well she gets pretty much all the attention and it takes away a bit from the story. Not that I think it isn't any good, it's just well Marianne does not seem realistic as a character. Especially judging by the setting of this story, 17th century France hardly would have any female mercenaries unless they were working for the Cardinal... and he would be in dire need to hire females for this business. However this is not about Marianne being a mercenary, this is about her lack of flaws and her sudden friendship with the musketeers. Besides wouldn't D'Artagnan be a little suspicious of her? I mean he met her in the Tower of London, she was obviously there for a lot more reasons than she said. Perhaps she killed somebody? He wouldn't have listened to her story without at least being a bit suspicious of her and he would have doubted her story.
Explain Marianne's character a bit fuller so that we readers understand what is going on. That way we can figure out if we should feel sorry for her or if we should like her. She has very great potential to become a great character if you plan her out a bit more. She just needs a bit of a tuneup (character makeover), add some faults in her, don't get her to fall for the canon characters so fast and without explanation. Make her into an individual so that when you introduce her into the story it is as if you are introducing somebody that you know well. To me it seems as if you thought about Marianne without the planning or at least tried to plan out her character... so to me it was as if you were introducing a person that you did not know well.
Other than that, I quite enjoyed the plot. It was adventurous and held my attention. I really tried to like Marianne but I could not find it within myself to do so. Continue the great work but please, please take a look at Marianne's character and make her seem more human.
This is a good story so far; a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but for your first English story this is a great start.
I really hate pointing this out to you but I can see that nobody else is going to so I will say it. Marianne is a bit of a Mary Sue. She... well she gets pretty much all the attention and it takes away a bit from the story. Not that I think it isn't any good, it's just well Marianne does not seem realistic as a character. Especially judging by the setting of this story, 17th century France hardly would have any female mercenaries unless they were working for the Cardinal... and he would be in dire need to hire females for this business. However this is not about Marianne being a mercenary, this is about her lack of flaws and her sudden friendship with the musketeers. Besides wouldn't D'Artagnan be a little suspicious of her? I mean he met her in the Tower of London, she was obviously there for a lot more reasons than she said. Perhaps she killed somebody? He wouldn't have listened to her story without at least being a bit suspicious of her and he would have doubted her story.
Explain Marianne's character a bit fuller so that we readers understand what is going on. That way we can figure out if we should feel sorry for her or if we should like her. She has very great potential to become a great character if you plan her out a bit more. She just needs a bit of a tuneup (character makeover), add some faults in her, don't get her to fall for the canon characters so fast and without explanation. Make her into an individual so that when you introduce her into the story it is as if you are introducing somebody that you know well. To me it seems as if you thought about Marianne without the planning or at least tried to plan out her character... so to me it was as if you were introducing a person that you did not know well.
Other than that, I quite enjoyed the plot. It was adventurous and held my attention. I really tried to like Marianne but I could not find it within myself to do so. Continue the great work but please, please take a look at Marianne's character and make her seem more human.
1/15/2012 c17 Hope and love
lol, I really liked the end of this chapter. It had me smiling the whole time! Keep up the good work!
lol, I really liked the end of this chapter. It had me smiling the whole time! Keep up the good work!
1/15/2012 c17 44lilgenious
A few mistakes that I should point out before you update another chapter. There were only a few do not worry! The main one being that you missed a few words in your sentences, I believe that is all!
I do like the story though! I hope you continue it.
44lilgeniousA few mistakes that I should point out before you update another chapter. There were only a few do not worry! The main one being that you missed a few words in your sentences, I believe that is all!
I do like the story though! I hope you continue it.
1/13/2012 c16 lilgenious
This chapter is excellently written. Now spelling mistakes this time! I like how Marianne and the Musketeers are getting along. Keep up the great work!
This chapter is excellently written. Now spelling mistakes this time! I like how Marianne and the Musketeers are getting along. Keep up the great work!
1/2/2012 c15 23Niahara Erskine
I reall and like your story and your character.
I look forward to a new chapter.
23Niahara ErskineI reall and like your story and your character.
I look forward to a new chapter.
12/31/2011 c15 44lilgenious
Great job with this story like always. It is so great that you have continued on with it and I am very happy that you are writing and enjoying yourself :-)
There were a few mistakes that I should point out to you before I leave this review. You missed a few important words in your sentences but other than that it was really great. The characters are all in character which is something that you did great and you also managed to keep the plot without carrying away from it to much.
Great job!
44lilgeniousGreat job with this story like always. It is so great that you have continued on with it and I am very happy that you are writing and enjoying yourself :-)
There were a few mistakes that I should point out to you before I leave this review. You missed a few important words in your sentences but other than that it was really great. The characters are all in character which is something that you did great and you also managed to keep the plot without carrying away from it to much.
Great job!
12/27/2011 c14 3Druid Archer
Is this going to be Aramis/oc? I think that would work in this fic, but it is only an idea/suggestion.
3Druid ArcherIs this going to be Aramis/oc? I think that would work in this fic, but it is only an idea/suggestion.