for Help of a Seer6/4/2014 c2 angeltrin1
My first words, literally, out loud, were: oh my. I am enjoying this story so far, can't wait to finish reading it.
My first words, literally, out loud, were: oh my. I am enjoying this story so far, can't wait to finish reading it.
5/20/2014 c9 Talion De Baisieux
Chapitre sympa. Je tiens quand même à préciser que le Demerol est tombé en désuétude, à cause des effets secondaires et que le prendre en pleine convulsion est contre indiqué huhu.
Chapitre sympa. Je tiens quand même à préciser que le Demerol est tombé en désuétude, à cause des effets secondaires et que le prendre en pleine convulsion est contre indiqué huhu.
5/15/2014 c26 Nova
I really loved this
I really loved this
5/14/2014 c18 X
With all the crying going on in this story, they should all be ankle deep in saltwater by now. The story is interesting enough to keep me reading, however.
With all the crying going on in this story, they should all be ankle deep in saltwater by now. The story is interesting enough to keep me reading, however.
4/17/2014 c26 
2DylanL
Cool story. Some of the pairings threw me a bit though. I wonder though wat happened with Hannah's baby. U said in one of the chapters in the middle that Robyn was worried about her BC she was pregnant so young so that means she went with on of the first 2 options after her rescue and u never said anymore about it so wat happened.
2DylanLCool story. Some of the pairings threw me a bit though. I wonder though wat happened with Hannah's baby. U said in one of the chapters in the middle that Robyn was worried about her BC she was pregnant so young so that means she went with on of the first 2 options after her rescue and u never said anymore about it so wat happened.
4/3/2014 c18 RVone
I'm very late to this story and I've been reading the entire thing over the last two afternoons. I will reserve a more general review for a later date, but right now, at this point in the story (knowing full well that nothing can be changed since this story has long been completed) I would like to express my befuddlement regarding your decision to move from a convincing and almost natural pairing (in the sense of being VERY believable within the context of your narrative) of Hermione with Daphne to the very unsatisfactory (and somewhat stereotypical) pairing of the two ladies with the two Weasleys. To me, as a reader, it comes across as really forced and detracts from the overall thrust of your story.
It is not that I'm intrinsically against those pairing but the way your story has been unfolding over the last seventeen chapters does not give the reader any reason to believe this switching of pairing as being authentic as it is - and I know I'm exaggerating a little bit - just suddenly 'injected' into the overall arc of developments.
On a more interpersonal level, having become as close as they have - even having been intimate in the way you described - I find it entirely unconvincing that either of the ladies would not be hurt by seeing the other suddenly swept away by someone else. There aren't a lot of precedents that support the idea that relationships, especially when the emotional bond was augmented by moments of true intimacy, allow for such a 'change of heart'.
More thoughts down the line; probably.
I'm very late to this story and I've been reading the entire thing over the last two afternoons. I will reserve a more general review for a later date, but right now, at this point in the story (knowing full well that nothing can be changed since this story has long been completed) I would like to express my befuddlement regarding your decision to move from a convincing and almost natural pairing (in the sense of being VERY believable within the context of your narrative) of Hermione with Daphne to the very unsatisfactory (and somewhat stereotypical) pairing of the two ladies with the two Weasleys. To me, as a reader, it comes across as really forced and detracts from the overall thrust of your story.
It is not that I'm intrinsically against those pairing but the way your story has been unfolding over the last seventeen chapters does not give the reader any reason to believe this switching of pairing as being authentic as it is - and I know I'm exaggerating a little bit - just suddenly 'injected' into the overall arc of developments.
On a more interpersonal level, having become as close as they have - even having been intimate in the way you described - I find it entirely unconvincing that either of the ladies would not be hurt by seeing the other suddenly swept away by someone else. There aren't a lot of precedents that support the idea that relationships, especially when the emotional bond was augmented by moments of true intimacy, allow for such a 'change of heart'.
More thoughts down the line; probably.
3/25/2014 c26 5Brian1972
Great story! I like the introduction of the "old" more intuitive magic (druids etc.). The development of new aplications is a bit fast (F.E.: Lunas ancetors only could make the Owl-Medalions and Harry develops them durin a single summer to a multi use multi animal artrifact?).
Really nice idea with the Silver Bullets and advandced muggle pain treatment. I also like that the muggle goverment and military for once is not passive (Canon like many others is to much: Oh our magicals have a terrorist organisation that kills non-magicals for fun and prepares a genozid in our country and the magical goverment seems to be incompetent. Lets do nothing ... Rally all Muggleborns, Squibs and plan to strike back seems much more logical).
Slight con on the seer ability. The level of foresight shown by Luna seems a bit extreme (more like super Luna), If there is a whole comunity of seers (as implied) why do they allow the rise of Dark Lords at all? Their oath is only due to ordinary people/events (at least that is how Amelia explains it). It would be more belivable, if Lunas level is extraordinary (something like true seers that are only seldoom born into a given generation).
While I see where machiavellian Dumbledore bashing comes from (F.E.: free reiign for purebloods to bully and punishment if someone fights back [in other words double standard]). I like a view of Dumbledore with a moral dilemma more. The needs of many or the needs of one (aka Harry). Ask yourself what would a general choose? So my Dumbledore would have stoped tormention Harry & Co after Voldemorts final death is ensured. But that is of course personal taste. Given a Dumbledore with an agenda as displayed in this story he is well writen.
Pity that you seem to have stoped writing. I really like Harry - Luna stories (and here I got Hermione - Bill freehouse) and your backround (magic, history, etc.) is really well writen.
5Brian1972Great story! I like the introduction of the "old" more intuitive magic (druids etc.). The development of new aplications is a bit fast (F.E.: Lunas ancetors only could make the Owl-Medalions and Harry develops them durin a single summer to a multi use multi animal artrifact?).
Really nice idea with the Silver Bullets and advandced muggle pain treatment. I also like that the muggle goverment and military for once is not passive (Canon like many others is to much: Oh our magicals have a terrorist organisation that kills non-magicals for fun and prepares a genozid in our country and the magical goverment seems to be incompetent. Lets do nothing ... Rally all Muggleborns, Squibs and plan to strike back seems much more logical).
Slight con on the seer ability. The level of foresight shown by Luna seems a bit extreme (more like super Luna), If there is a whole comunity of seers (as implied) why do they allow the rise of Dark Lords at all? Their oath is only due to ordinary people/events (at least that is how Amelia explains it). It would be more belivable, if Lunas level is extraordinary (something like true seers that are only seldoom born into a given generation).
While I see where machiavellian Dumbledore bashing comes from (F.E.: free reiign for purebloods to bully and punishment if someone fights back [in other words double standard]). I like a view of Dumbledore with a moral dilemma more. The needs of many or the needs of one (aka Harry). Ask yourself what would a general choose? So my Dumbledore would have stoped tormention Harry & Co after Voldemorts final death is ensured. But that is of course personal taste. Given a Dumbledore with an agenda as displayed in this story he is well writen.
Pity that you seem to have stoped writing. I really like Harry - Luna stories (and here I got Hermione - Bill freehouse) and your backround (magic, history, etc.) is really well writen.
3/21/2014 c18 PhoenixDK1984
Sorry for the comment in the previous chapter had meant to mention Hermione from Greek mythology :-)
Sorry for the comment in the previous chapter had meant to mention Hermione from Greek mythology :-)
3/21/2014 c7 PhoenixDK1984
If you used the family tree then Harry would be the heir. Because of Dorea Black. That of cause depends whether Sirius ever was Lord Black. Arcturus died in 1991, meaning he would most likely believe Sirius would never leave Azkaban, so Arcturus would be the one to decide the new heir. He could have chosen Potter, Malfoy, Longbottom or MacMillan.
If you used the family tree then Harry would be the heir. Because of Dorea Black. That of cause depends whether Sirius ever was Lord Black. Arcturus died in 1991, meaning he would most likely believe Sirius would never leave Azkaban, so Arcturus would be the one to decide the new heir. He could have chosen Potter, Malfoy, Longbottom or MacMillan.
3/6/2014 c26 1RykOakwine
Review for potential readers:
This story is very well written, the technical aspects of the writing (grammar, spelling) are quite good, a good step above the typical fanfic.
The story's premise is not particularly uncommon, though the execution of the plot from that premise is very good. Unlike many stories the author does not take the cheap and easy route of sending his characters through the canon events in the canon settings. Too many writers establish early and strongly how horrible Dumbledore is, for example, yet strain credulity by having their characters return to Hogwarts for the next school year. Happily this story does not make that mistake.
The plot continues, diverging from the source material plot and blazing its own trail very nicely, resulting in a story that is far better plotted than the source material is.
The rating is barely appropriate, though with only minor edits the story could have been T Rated instead of M Rated. The primary characters act like being engaged to be married is a smaller deal than having sex is. A rather uncommon, to say the least, attitude among teenagers, yet very present in this story. 99% of the sexual material in this story is implied and offscreen, appropriate for a T Rated story. All in all, someone searching out an M Rated story will very likely find this story does not live up to their expectations. But as a T Rated story it works very well.
The treatment of the one same gender relationship in the story as automatically inferior to the opposite gender relationships may be offensive to some readers.
Ratings:
Technical: 10
Premise Originality: 7
Character Authenticity: 7 (reasonably loyal to canon portrayals)
Originality of Plot: 10 (full divergence from canon plot)
Addressing Canon Stupidities: 8
Justice to Antagonists: 9
Color, dialogue, feeling: 7
Correctly Rated: 5
Overall: 8 (Recommended)
1RykOakwineReview for potential readers:
This story is very well written, the technical aspects of the writing (grammar, spelling) are quite good, a good step above the typical fanfic.
The story's premise is not particularly uncommon, though the execution of the plot from that premise is very good. Unlike many stories the author does not take the cheap and easy route of sending his characters through the canon events in the canon settings. Too many writers establish early and strongly how horrible Dumbledore is, for example, yet strain credulity by having their characters return to Hogwarts for the next school year. Happily this story does not make that mistake.
The plot continues, diverging from the source material plot and blazing its own trail very nicely, resulting in a story that is far better plotted than the source material is.
The rating is barely appropriate, though with only minor edits the story could have been T Rated instead of M Rated. The primary characters act like being engaged to be married is a smaller deal than having sex is. A rather uncommon, to say the least, attitude among teenagers, yet very present in this story. 99% of the sexual material in this story is implied and offscreen, appropriate for a T Rated story. All in all, someone searching out an M Rated story will very likely find this story does not live up to their expectations. But as a T Rated story it works very well.
The treatment of the one same gender relationship in the story as automatically inferior to the opposite gender relationships may be offensive to some readers.
Ratings:
Technical: 10
Premise Originality: 7
Character Authenticity: 7 (reasonably loyal to canon portrayals)
Originality of Plot: 10 (full divergence from canon plot)
Addressing Canon Stupidities: 8
Justice to Antagonists: 9
Color, dialogue, feeling: 7
Correctly Rated: 5
Overall: 8 (Recommended)
3/6/2014 c18 RykOakwine
This has been a wonderful story so far. Well written and imaginative, wonderfully avoiding the craptastic canon plot.
This chapter was pretty infuriating though. Of all the relationships blossoming among the people in the clan, only one was so shallow and temporary that the pair split up, both of them independently and simulataineously coming to the same decision, the very moment a pair of available penises walked into the picture.
Now what was it about Daphne and Hermoine's relationship that made it so easy to go their seperate ways? What is different about their relationship that not ONE other pair split and went after new partners as soon as potential new partners walked into the picture? Someone help me out here, trying to figure out just why Daphne and Hermoine's relationship is being treated so differently from *every other pairing* in the story, why is *their* relationship so temporary and just 'of convenience' when no one else's is. .. what possibly could be the reason they are being treated differently from all the other relationships. ...
Yeah, it's damned irritating that the second-most-appealing pairing in the story was tossed out the window to force feed us the prospect of two beautiful, intelligent, young women in relationships with WEASLEYS.
And it works as well here as the same forced bull worked in canon.
Sure, let the *only* same gender relationship be the only one that's shallow and temporary, disposable, for convenience. Why wouldn't Hermoine toss Daphne aside the moment a penis is available, that's a 'real' relationship, not like what she had going on with Daphne...
And the same for Daphne. How convenient they both jumped at the Weasley's at the same time. No one side trying to hold on, no heartbreak... you know, the actual things that happen when one of a pair of bi-sexual girls in a relationship suddenly tosses her lover over for a male.
That part of the story has been terribly mishandled.
This has been a wonderful story so far. Well written and imaginative, wonderfully avoiding the craptastic canon plot.
This chapter was pretty infuriating though. Of all the relationships blossoming among the people in the clan, only one was so shallow and temporary that the pair split up, both of them independently and simulataineously coming to the same decision, the very moment a pair of available penises walked into the picture.
Now what was it about Daphne and Hermoine's relationship that made it so easy to go their seperate ways? What is different about their relationship that not ONE other pair split and went after new partners as soon as potential new partners walked into the picture? Someone help me out here, trying to figure out just why Daphne and Hermoine's relationship is being treated so differently from *every other pairing* in the story, why is *their* relationship so temporary and just 'of convenience' when no one else's is. .. what possibly could be the reason they are being treated differently from all the other relationships. ...
Yeah, it's damned irritating that the second-most-appealing pairing in the story was tossed out the window to force feed us the prospect of two beautiful, intelligent, young women in relationships with WEASLEYS.
And it works as well here as the same forced bull worked in canon.
Sure, let the *only* same gender relationship be the only one that's shallow and temporary, disposable, for convenience. Why wouldn't Hermoine toss Daphne aside the moment a penis is available, that's a 'real' relationship, not like what she had going on with Daphne...
And the same for Daphne. How convenient they both jumped at the Weasley's at the same time. No one side trying to hold on, no heartbreak... you know, the actual things that happen when one of a pair of bi-sexual girls in a relationship suddenly tosses her lover over for a male.
That part of the story has been terribly mishandled.
3/5/2014 c3 RykOakwine
Wow, someone else who's read the Doomfarers and Starfollowers? Damn, those books titles bring back old memories of my early love of paperback sci-fi and fantasy.
Cool, it's been 30 years since I'd thought about those books. :D
Wow, someone else who's read the Doomfarers and Starfollowers? Damn, those books titles bring back old memories of my early love of paperback sci-fi and fantasy.
Cool, it's been 30 years since I'd thought about those books. :D
3/2/2014 c5 2Specky Clarke
A great story. I am a Harry/Hermione steadfast but I like Luna and if it is not Hermione Luna is a very close second choice. Luna and Snape are the only characters in the films that, in my opinion, they got right. She was absolutely brilliant.
2Specky ClarkeA great story. I am a Harry/Hermione steadfast but I like Luna and if it is not Hermione Luna is a very close second choice. Luna and Snape are the only characters in the films that, in my opinion, they got right. She was absolutely brilliant.