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5/18 c8 uchiha-rune
You make naruto seem all powerful though only A rank, you have all your inf9 wrong
5/18 c6 uchiha-rune
I don’t know what’s the big deal with 6.5M since ryo is 10ryo=1 though it’s a lot naruto being anbu and doing A ranks should easily have made that by now since A ranks mate usually from feudal lords so they like likely pay 200k-1M and S ranks would cost way more since assuma who’s A rank was worth millions
10/17/2020 c4 KiriHibiko
First, I really like the idea for the story, and think it is a great idea to make Naruto a prodigy-kind-of-sorts, as he always had the potential in canon, but it was sadly never realised...

Now here comes my review until now, and I just have to say that your idea is sadly poorly executed.
All this new-age slang in the conversation with Kakashi really broke the whole athmosphere of the ANBU/elite-setting you were trying to create. And now this chapter...I really can't even spell how dissappointing it was... Why the hell is the pordigy/elite/assassin-Naruto such a blabbermouth?! Which shinobi worth his salt, just tells others about the inner-workings of his jutsu? Why does he brag about shit that NOBODY should know?! I am pretty sure you have no real clue what being a ninja entails, and just adopted this Shounen-setting crap, where they just willy-nilly share their secrets and powers, for what ever stupid reason... But if you would have been a little more attentive, shinobi guard their secrets closely, I mean most of the characters in the show only ever learned the jutsus from their clans and seldom got others to teach them a new technique! Naturo only got to learn the Rasengan because his father invented it, and Sasuke learned Chidori because Kakashi was heavily invested emotionally in Team 7! Sakura was the only one to learn Tsunades Yin-Realse technique, because she was her personal student! SO just telling someone about the secrets behind your jutsu basically disqualifies Naruto as a elite, even as a shinobi. I mean I you can't even keep your mouth shut about your own technique, than who the hell would hire you as a spy/shinobi!

And his whole personality is super unstable, which I really hate! In one moment he is portrayed as a cold-blooded killer and than he handles himself like immature brat...I mean what's with all the screaming, for f*cks sake, aren't you an elite-killer, so why the f*ck can't you have a normal conversation!

Also him being as strong as he is depicted to be, how can the Hokage just keep him from his inheritance, when he also obviously has the backing from several clan-heads?! That just doesn't make sense, all this coercion to become a teacher for receiving HIS property just doesn't work! I mean Hiruzen would basically piss his pants just by imagining Naruto going rogue on the village with the Kyubi's power on his call! He would never force his way in front of a Naruto with a character like that!

There are several other points that just don't work in this story, but I am honestly to annoyed to write them down. If you want to write a story, than please go ahead with your ideas, but be consistent, because it seems to me that even you don't have any clue what kind a personality 'this' Naruto has and you just wing it like you wnat... that is really bad writing. To have a clear idea, and than steadily building and improving upon it, that makes good writing. But just using one idea and than force-feeding the plot with totally unfit content for said idea, that's lazy, man...

I want to remind you, that this is not me trying to undermine you, just my honest opinion, and I really believe you have great talent for this type of writing, but you shouldn't be to hasty with a story like that. Slowly building it up and keeping in mind its consistency with your initial ideas is very important. I think that is what you lack, and also what results in all the flaws from your story.
9/16/2020 c27 AcidESP
It is a very good story, it is a pity that you do not continue it, but if you know of someone who adopted her and I continue, I hope you give me the information, a greeting, see you, bye!
9/4/2020 c27 Zeke
so sad to see this is the last chapter. I really liked this story, well written and witty dialog.
7/31/2020 c14 Ziggy
"One more year before I can get legally smashed" I'm dead XDDDDDDDD
10/20/2019 c27 Ben Walker1
great fic

wish it wasn't abandoned
5/5/2019 c6 Guest
Naruto aint rich. If he were rich he should or would have atleast 50 mil
4/10/2019 c27 1LokiStoneheart
Although I don’t really like the idea of interfering with the story so early, I do like this fic so far. I hope you will consider updating (or updating sooner than planned) in the foreseeable future.
2/7/2019 c27 2eprince200
stay strong, will of fire, all that shit. honesty man just feel better. i love your stories but do your best to just recover. if you ever come back to writing this story, i'd be thrilled but i think you just have live life one mission at a time, ya know?
1/20/2019 c27 tugsoo
please tell me you are still alive and will update soon
12/26/2018 c1 1zubhanwc3
haven't started this yet, but I've got to say. this is one of the succinct and best summaries I've ever seen. not a word was wasted, and I had to reread it to make sure that it was as interesting as my initial reading made it out to be. bravo.
11/17/2018 c27 4Monster King
Great job please continue it
10/20/2018 c10 Spidersauce
Why the fuck did Naruto just let Kurenai beat on him? Grow a backbone man . . .
10/3/2018 c27 Ken kaneki's shadow wolf
I love this story and I can't wait until you update it again.
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